Hearing that, Louie got so angry he jumped up from his seat and made an attempt to climb into the hollow area. I grabbed hold of him and said, “Forget them. If we’re ever going to get on stage, we have to get closer to the staircase. Come on, Bertie. We have to move.”
Leading the way out of our row of seats I politely excused myself, but collided with three kneecaps. A boy said “Watch what the #### you’re doing!”
Louie shouted, “Shut your Goddamn mouth, you rat bastard!” And the kid made no response.
Time was drawing near for our encounter with the Count, and before long we would either be heroes for protecting a lady from a “serious bite,” or thrown out on our asses. I was all set and, as usual, threw caution aside. I suspected that I would become the biggest show-off I had ever been, as well as the weirdest. This would be the greatest caper of my life. Though it included three of us, I just knew I’d be the star.
The flashing lights began to dim and the eerie sounds were disappearing. We moved closer to the staircase. Louie spotted a kid in the pit near the piano and he figured him to be the one who put us under wraps so he shouted, “You stupid idiot, I'll belt ya!” Just then the first of two curtains began to rise.
Within a couple of seconds we reached the staircase and climbed its few steps. We stood in semi-darkness and apparently ushers, security guards and stagehands had not yet seen us. I said, “When Dracula comes on the stage, follow me.”
The second curtain went up and the stage was dimly lit. I stepped forward, turned to see if my friends were following. Louie faced the audience and screamed, “Louie! Louie!”
His Kedenberg crowd was sitting up front. They laughed.
My friends stepped off the stage but remained on the steps where they did some more hollering. Louie’s friends and some of the other patrons responded in kind. Eventually, about one hundred theatergoers were cheering them on. Only about twenty seconds had elapsed when I shouted, “Get back on the stage! Make like “Igor” and follow me.” Instead, they were having fun shouting at the audience and laughing.
I had the distinct feeling that my friends did not intend to go through with the original plan. Apparently both had lost interest and didn’t budge from their spot. Soon they were jumping up and down while still shouting to the crowd.
I was surprised at Bertie, who would often do nutty things that would put his friends in jeopardy, but mysteriously leave him unscathed. He rarely had to face the music and in a strange sort of way, this quality about him was found to be his charm. In reality, he could blow up Dracula’s Castle, but then he would be the first to beat it back to the village so as not to suffer the consequences.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have cautionary nerve, and since my friends were caught up in their own high jinks, I decided to go it alone. I was determined that the show must go on, and it had to come out the way I planned it. Just then the lights dimmed in my section of the floor and within seconds a beam of purple light pointed to a young woman who was lying in a bed on center stage. The actress had long blond hair, and even though I was preoccupied with my foolish prank, I could tell she was beautiful.
Not for a second did I take into consideration that the actors in this brief drama had jobs. They were a troupe of Equity players who, on this one evening, were on a tight schedule. RKO’s circuit of theaters had horror shows running throughout Brooklyn, Queens and Manhattan. The members of the cast were expected to get to each and every one of them and be on time. I didn’t realize that on this evening I would be doing the worst thing that I ever did in my entire life.
I bent over until my hands almost touched the floor and thus began my pursuit to save the sleeping beauty. As I moved in her direction the audience gave out with a tremendous scream, “Yeeeowwwwwwwww!” My heart did a flip-flop as thousands in attendance kept it up. What happened? The bloodsucking Dracula had made his appearance.
The moment he entered the stage he was not in a position to notice me. Since the sleeping beauty had her eyes closed, she didn’t see me either. The Count raised his arms and this caused his cape to rise, which gave him the appearance of a giant bat. From the corner of my eye I saw movement that made me look over to stage left. It turned out to be about a half dozen angry looking stagehands gesturing me away with either open hands or closed fists. Since the play was in progress, they couldn’t interrupt it by crossing the stage to get at me.
One of the stage crew shouted something inaudible, but his angry expression pretty much told me what he was saying and I just knew it wasn’t anything polite. My ignoring him so upset the man that he almost stepped into the spotlight. However, the other men quickly caught hold of him before the audience could take notice.
At the point of no return and no matter the consequences, I wanted to complete what I set out to do. I stepped into the light and slowly advanced toward Dracula, but apparently the lovely looking lady lying on the bed became curious about the commotion coming from the stage crew. Something other than what had been rehearsed was going on, and she made it obvious by her awakened appearance. Then, when the caped one moved right up to his human prey, I straightened up and raised my arms above my head. I’m still amazed at how relaxed I was and recall telling myself that I was the good guy and the vampire was the culprit. The young lady looked frightened. It wasn’t the old bloodsucker who was scaring her, but the one who didn’t fill her in on the revised script. She jumped from the bed and ran off. The remaining Equity player turned and faced me for a moment. My arms were still in the air. He lowered his head and body and ran off, which left me all alone in the spotlight.
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