You have a different situation than most. Most are not caring for a completely disabled son or daughter. If your children weren't there for some reason you could hire someone to come in and cover for you. I say this because one day they may have to leave your home for some reason (marriage, death, illness). I had already set something like that up should my brother bring our mother to me after she was incapacitated. As you know, he put her in a Nursing Home where he could visit her occasionally and make sure I wasn't absconding with the money I had no way of knowing she had. BTW, after speaking to the VA lawyer (he contacted me) that was not possible even if I was a thief.
Don't ever fear he would have to go in an institution. There is always someone you can hire and he might even enjoy the company. I hope that eases your mind. I think we discussed this before.
I did not know your daughters had jobs they can do from home and always be there to help with your son so you are free to come and go at will. I would not have had that with my mother and the neighbor who looked after the disabled. I would have had to call her outside the regular days and times to see if she was available. This is why it's so easy to misunderstand people's situations when it's in text.
My husband's niece here in FL also works from home. All she needs is an computer. She works in Clinical Trials for new drugs. She has a beautiful large home on the water in Eustis. Her 25 yr old daughter, still single, lives a few miles from her and works in a hospital.
I left my first marriage because he was so controlling. When he started to lose control over me when our son started school he became violent. I couldn't see living the rest of my life under his thumb. It wasn't living, it was existing. The cost of a home or where someone lives is irrelevant. Those material things don't guarantee happy marriages and well adjusted children. I didn't learn this from my mother - that was just me and what I needed to do. That was to be free of a man who smothered and controlled me every waking minute.
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