Posted by Amanda
on March 13, 2008, 11:36 pm, in reply to "Re: in a ditch"
198.54.202.146
Tracey, I'm so sorry about Phillip. I really don't think you can blame yourself though. We all make choices that we think are the best for our children and ourselves. When we look back, we wonder, couldn't I have done it differently? But you know, we loose track of some of the reasons for the choices we made. And yes, because we are human, we do make mistakes. You need to forgive yourself.
I fully believe that we have a set date to die, regardless of what choices our parents, or us make. Maybe the way in which you die is determined by your choices, but I don't think anything can change your date to go to heaven.
I really hope this doesn't sound harsh. My heart is aching for you and I don't want you to battle guilt as long as I did. What could you have done more? Locked him up in a room? By the sound of it he knew you care enough to try and stop him. That was the best gift you could give him.
I do understand how it can plague you. I feel guilty about things that was completely out of my control and some things that wouldn't have made a difference anyway. Sometimes I think we are the only ones that know where our guilt comes from. Most of the time it doesn't make sense to other people. Unfortunately it doesn't make it less real.
For what it is worth, I don't think ANYTHING you did differently would have changed the day Phillip had to go.
Still praying for you.
Message Thread:
« Back to thread