Posted by jan
on June 13, 2008, 3:21 pm
72.175.195.121
Ladies,
I found something today that I wrote when it had been only 21 months since we buried our daughter Lora. Thought I'd share it.
2/25/01
Well, I guess I’m not going to get away from it tonight……the memories, I mean. Every which way I turn in the bed, there’s your face, your smile, your sleepy expression, your giggle that defies description. What am I going to do, sweet Lora? How am I ever going to sleep normally again? When will my nights not be filled with your memory? Your daddy drinks himself to sleep……that doesn’t work well for me, cuz I can’t drink enough to stay asleep. Pills work, but I can’t get prescriptions for them all the time. So the cycle begins again…….no sleep one night, crash the next……… on and on. My heart is broken and refuses to heal it seems. The less sleep I get, the harder it is to shut my mind off to the onslaught of memories. What am I going to do? Lord Jesus, please, please help me. I can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep watching my husband slowly die in front of me. I can’t keep living just to get up and take care of a dog. I need your help, please Lord. Can’t you let my Lora visit me in my dreams just once? I need my “Lora-fix” as Gloria called it. PLEASE.
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