Posted by jan on June 15, 2008, 1:26 pm, in reply to "whats normal"
Message modified by board administrator June 15, 2008, 4:47 pm
Debra,
You say, "Sorry to be so down when many of you are going on so nicely." Do I detect a bit of anger at some of us who have worked so hard to keep our heads above the depression that threatens to drown us?
After 9 years I have moved on, yes, but life is not as it was with my precious Lora in it... and I've recovered a bit of my sanity through simple determination on my part, and a willingness to let God work (even while I was still very angry with Him). I've had to go into private counseling for a year and also take medications--NEITHER of which I would have chosen, believe me, but I was in danger of killing myself--thereby thoughtlessly dumping even more agony and sorrow onto my remaining daughter.
I am truly sorry you are "stuck" in your grief, Debra. Honestly. As much as we all understand the temptation to do so, and empathize with your agony, ultimately only you can take steps to get "unstuck". Nothing anyone here or in your personal life can say or do will "fix" this the way you want--if we could, we'd "fix" the dilemma in our own lives. Now it's up to you to decide whether you are going to seek outside help in dealing with your loss.
Just so you know..... I was exactly at the point where you are at, right at the one year mark. I nearly took my life. VERY VERY nearly. Out of respect for one of Lora's friends, I went to see a counselor "once". Thank God, I kept going, kept listening, and trusted someone other than myself to help lead me through the pitch black days that engulfed me. Please, Debra--please do the same.
In Christ,
jan
Message Thread:
« Back to thread