Posted by jan
on June 25, 2008, 7:47 am
72.175.195.121
Ladies, I will be gone to visit my granddaughters & daughter today until late on July 3.
It's been an emotional week or so for me, on so many fronts. The latest is the news that my 8 year old greyhound, DeeDee, seems to have developed kidney disease. Not good news. She and my other greyhound are my heart and soul, and comfort, helping to fill the hole a little that Lora's leaving created. DeeDee in particular is a total clown -- very gregarious, lots of kisses, always happy despite the unloving first 5 years of her life. So please pray that the Lord either heals her or grants her at least another year with me. I spent all of yesterday crying, anticipating her loss. All loss drags up the old feelings of pain and emptiness from 9 years ago. I'm so scared. We have 4 dogs and 1 cat, all of whom are entering their senior years, all of whom will likely not live more than another 4 years. And worse still, my parents are 83 and 78 years old, so while in theory they could live another 15 years or so (please, God?), in reality... Anyway, I've been dwelling on all the loss that confronts me in the next 10 years, and it's almost overwhelming to contemplate. I know physical death is a part of life... but I hate it so so so so much. I want to go back to the days when death was unknown to me.
Pray I can overcome this crippling fear/dread.
Talk to you all late next week,
love,
jan
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