Posted by Ruth
on July 19, 2008, 8:35 am, in reply to "Re: closets"
68.147.125.221
When I went through Lisa's things she had a bunch of hairbrushes and combs. Her hair became very precious to me and I pulled them out and have kept her hair in a zip lock bag. Also when we viewed Lisa one of her finger nails were broken, so I clipped it off and have kept it. It's like having littlephysicak pieces of her. It's hard to describe how it makes me feel but I know you ladies understand.
I have one of er favorite sweatshirts hanging on the back of my chair at my computer desk and I often wratp the arms of it around me as if she is giving me a hug.
I feel like I am not a real part of this earth anymore, I go through the motions as best I can. We just cme bavk from a three week vacation and I felt we went full circle thorugh Lisa's life. Went to the place where she was born, and lived in different parts of the country. We wqent to a wedding also and it was so difficult when the Bride and her Dad danced, my husband and I just broke right up thinking of what could have been and longed for her. We feel we just don't fit in anymore with this big hole in our hearts. The emotional battles continue.
I so fear loosing our sopn too and felt strong urges to pray for him while away.
He called us last night and told me how he'd been beaten unconscious by some guy at a
bachelor party, He lost three teeth has a concussion, stitches in his nose and mouth and ears, both eyes balck and blue and nose swollen up. The guy bashed his head agaisnt the ground over and over. kicking at his head s well. I'm just sick about it. I know my son has a drinking problem but apparently this came out of the blue, this guy has done it before twice and no one ever pressed charges. Now my son is doing so and is going through lot of anxiety.
One good thing him anf his wife haven't drank alcohol for a week now and I pray they continue to keep sober. Please pray for them ladies when you think of it. It's miracle he wasn't killed.
and my fear still is that I will lose him too. I could go on and pn cause I have guilt from my past that makes me feel responsible partly for his lifestyle and also for Lisa's difficult life. I know god has forgiven me so much, and for all my sins, but the regrets torture me.
Thanks for listening, I needed to get things off my chest.
Ruth
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