Posted by jan
on August 15, 2008, 7:16 pm, in reply to "courtney"
170.170.59.138
Twyana,
Well, I'm the only one on here for whom it's been longer than 3 years (it's 9 1/2 years now). If my experience is "normal" for a grieving parent, it took me 5 years before life seemed live-able again, with the first 2 years being the most horrific. But I literally cannot remember anything that happened more than 2 years ago (which was when we had lost Lora for 7 years).
This is the most hellacious experience this life can give us -- as we survive this, we can truly say we can survive anything. On my black days (and yes, I still have them), I remind myself of all the grieving parents around the world, and how I am not alone in this journey... for me, it helps me feel less self-pity... but nothing truly takes it all away and gives us back the naive outlook we had on life "before". Everything in my life is marked by May 22, 1999: "Was that before or after Lora died?" I've heard from other long-time grieving mothers that these are all very "normal" experiences for grieving moms.
Day at a time... hour at a time... minute at a time, if need be. Soothing instrumental worship music helped me best, as did the cd "City of Gold".
And fellowship with other grieving moms... like the moms here ((hugs))
~ jan
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