Posted by Patti
on August 16, 2008, 6:15 pm, in reply to "courtney"
64.190.239.103
Twyana,
It doesn't really ever get any better with the passing of time - although we try to learn how to live with the pain. Life after the death of a child is an emotional roller coaster with the "downs" being so much more intense than the "ups." I can barely remember but a handful of up days in over two and a half years since my son's death and even those up days are dim and I vaguely can remember how it feels to sincerely smile and feel any real joy. We all suffer grief in different ways, but I am convinced that mothers suffer the most - more than fathers, more that spouses, more than siblings, and more than friends. I have searched for ways to cope, and searched for answers as to "why" but mostly I have found no answers. I am becoming more and more convinced there is no answer that exist. There is just a void, a hole in my heart that cannot ever be fixed. We simply live in our daily misery.
Please try not to let your grief overcome your entire existence, which I confess that I have been guilty of doing. Put your faith in God, and let Him fill your emptiness with some sort of understanding, albeit very small. Any hope at all may someday grow into some sort of a normal life again.
This is our ultimate punishment brought on by the sins of Adam and Eve - along with the pain of childbirth, working for a living, we all must eventually suffer the pain associated with death.
I will add you to my prayer list my dear sister. Please everyone, pray for one another daily without ceasing. God does hear our prayers and He will send us comfort. Remember, God also had a child that died - He does understand our pain.
Love,
Patti
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