Posted by patti
on November 20, 2008, 11:08 pm, in reply to "Re: Needing to know how to hold on to God"
64.190.239.103
I am so very sorry that you lost your beautiful, precious daughter. I also lost my adult child, Bobby, who was killed in an automobile accident on April 7, 2006 at the age of 37. Toni, I sincerely know your pain, and I truly feel your sorrow. Today when I read your story, I tried to write an answer to you, but I became so emotional and so upset that I actually became physically ill and I had to go to bed for a couple of hours and just shut out the whole lousy world. The pain swept over me and consumed me, to learn that another Mom had lost her child. To learn that you are also suffering this terrorizing, agony sorrow that is never ending, day after day, night after night. This horrible grief that we never before knew existed. My heart goes out to the mother of the young man that died with your daughter, yet another mother who has lost the most cherish thing she ever had. And I find myself asking over and over, “When will it ever end?”
You asked how to hold onto God? Toni, there will be so many times when you will find that you just cannot hold onto God, no matter how hard you try. But please know that He is always there holding onto you, and He will never let you go. Even in your darkest days, when you are so far down in the hole that there seems to be no way out, He will be right there with you every hour and every minute holding onto you. Find peace in a church where you can feel the spirit of God, take His spirit home with you, and live with Him every day, listen to and sing His praises, read books of comfort, especially the words given to us in Psalms, and write long letters to yourself about how you so deeply loved all the years God gave you with your child. Go outside and sit in the quietness of nature, listen to the birds, feel the sunshine on your face. You will find the love of God all around you, and sometimes you may even feel the presence of your child there with you. Mostly, just pray a whole lot - talk to God because He is the only one that understands you. And most importantly, always cling to His promise to you, hold it in your heart and mind every single day, the promise that you and your child will spend all of eternity together. She is already there loving God and serving Him. This life, here on earth is so very short in comparison to the days we will spend in eternity with our child.
Since the death of my son, I have lost all the happiness and all the joy that I once shared with my husband, children and my grandchildren. I so desperately want that joy to come back again, but I honestly can’t even remember what it feels like to be happy. I have become so weak and irritable, I have no patience, no tolerance, and I am so hopelessly full of despair over all the bad things I see going on all around us. And I am MAD that my child is gone when everyone else I know still has their child here with them. But Toni, even though I am this way, God keeps right on holding onto to me. He never lets go of me – and He won’t let go of you either, for we are His children. Our Father loves us and He will carry us through these dark days. Our children are with Him, and they are in His loving care. For as much as we love them, He loves them even more than we do. He will reunite us with our children again.
Love to you my dear sister. I am praying for you.
Message Thread:
« Back to thread