Posted by patti
on December 3, 2008, 10:28 pm, in reply to "Struggling with so much"
64.190.239.103
Debra, you said something that really hit home to me and that I relate to everyday. "Did I not pray enough. Did I do something so wrong." I have asked that to myself over and over a thousand times. What did I do to make God so mad at me that he took away my child and left me with this terrible emptiness?
Thanksgiving was always so very special to Bobby. He was a such great cook and he liked to cook for the family. I missed him so much on Thanksgiving.
This year was a total disaster! My youngest son, Stephen, who worked very hard to overcome an addiction problem and we all thought he had it licked, has now completely fallen off the wagon and is drinking very heavily again (and probably doing drugs as well). He was arrested on Thanksgiving morning for public drunkeness in his own front yard. It completely ruined the holiday, which wothout
Bobby was already very sad for me. Stephen has everything in the world to be thankful for, a nice home, nice furniture, a car that is paid for(and almost no debt), and a great opportunity at his job. He has the nicest and most beautiful wife and a perfect little 8 month old boy that is the most precious little thing in the world(Little Bobby). Why does he do this to himself and to all the rest of us? I am so upset with him. I can't even have the peace of mind to grieve over Bobby because Stephen is taking up so much of my time.
Everyone please pray for him. I am beginning to think he is a lost cause. I am losing my faith that God will ever answer my prayers about him. I am just worn out. I sometimes think that Bobby is the lucky one not to have to endure this wicked evil world. I am so looking forward to dying and being with him again.
Thanks for listening,
Patti
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