Posted by Ruth
on December 5, 2008, 3:07 pm, in reply to "Re: Struggling with so much"
68.147.125.221
Hi Trish, you really struck something very important that I am finding to be so true.
Our son, has reacted with anger towards me when I expressed my feelings of depression to him not so long ago after we spent Lisa's birthdya together.
He said --- I'm still here. I miss her so much too, When we get together , he said it's always the "Lisa show" We should be having fun and good times. But he alos acknowledged that he understands it's hard for me as Mom. He then proceeded to tell me of the times that Lisa was angry at me etc etc. As If we were putting her on a pedestal and being unrealistic about her life. Mind you I did realize this was all from his point of view and perspective and he really hasn't spent much time with us to see how it really is. He was expressing his grief and anger.
my son and his wife are alcolholics which complicates things as well. He rarely comes over anymore or even calls, I feel like we are losing him. I do call him perhaps once a week, even if he doesn't call us. I've let go but still want him to know how much we care.
Yes we long for our children so much, but we might miss out on very special times with our children we have left who need us. I can understand they would feel alienated and jealous. Then I think what if something happened to him? and we didn't have a good relationship and things were left unresovled, I'd never forgive myself.
Thanks for sharing Trish, it is a real concern for me .
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