Posted by jan
on December 15, 2008, 7:13 pm, in reply to "Re: Christmas poems"
72.175.193.124
Yes, Ruth ... how well I know the pain of not hearing her voice. I actually discovered a message on our old answering machine (back in 1999, the year she died) from Lora to me, and I popped that tape out and kept it -- I can't bear to listen to it often, but when the pain of *not* hearing her exceeds the pain of hearing her, I play it on my microcassette recorder. God forbid that little device ever breaks.
It's hell, Ruth. I know. And believing in the Lord doesn't ease the pain of loss in the here-and-now, it *only* provides hope for one-day-to-come. Even so, it's a battle some days to hold on to that faith.
I wish, oh how I wish, I could go back to the innocent days of not understanding grief & loss such as this. In the summer I'm able to push the echoes of loneliness and longing to the back of my mind... but in December.....
love u,
jan
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