Posted by Ruth
on February 23, 2009, 4:40 pm, in reply to "Re: can't get out of hole"
68.147.92.197
Kim I am truly sorry for what you are suffering.Words can't express the depth of your pain but we truly understand. Our Lisa died on October 5th 2006, all alone in her apartment(which still hurts me to the core me to this day). We didn't find out the cause of her death til the end of January. Finding out the cause of death, brought a relief and also brought more questions. I know this is what is happening to you. Your emotions roll like a roller coaster. It is so awfully hard going through this, we wonder if we are losing our sanity. Sometimes I wished I would lose it cause then I wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore. I ended up putting one foot in front of the other when able.Baby steps mostlly. I expected too much from myself, being a Christian and laid all kinds of guilt trips on myself. I have a good friend who I can share my most intimate thoughts with, my anger and all and wasn't judged. It helps to have a trusted friend and I am glad you have one who shows you her love and concern.
In the darkness of the hole God is with you, even when you can't feel Him. He understands more than anyone how much you hurt.
Wish I could be there to hug you and cry with you.I keep saying it's all so unreal living with grief. That's how it feels to me. Like living in two worlds.
Keep writing and know that we all care .
Love
Ruth
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