Posted by trish
on March 11, 2009, 10:27 pm
76.66.59.54
i hear your pain..the not saying goodbye is sooo hard, it was three years later after my first son's death that i got a dream ..he ran across the field and on the porch and into my lap...i cried and said i knew God made a mistake ...your back...he said no mommy , i just came to tell you that i'm okay...i have to go back now....i had to let him go....to me that was God letting him visit me to say his goodbyes.....i still waiting for my matt to say his....i know i talked to him before he died on his cell...but it was ...i'll see you soon....soon never came....humanly speaking matt should of lived if he wore his seatbelt.....people ask if i have moments of anger towards him...i don't....cause i know if it wasn't his time he would of survived...i know of people that have been thrown from their vehicles and should have died but walked away with just a scratch...so i won't be angry at him......i did come to this after my christopher died, and that took years to get to that point....God is in control,Guilt takes too much energy....belive me i had alot of it with christopher.....God and his angels were with our children......3 months after matt died a classmate died of cancer...all i heard was what a beautiful farewell the family had..it burned me up inside with envey, i had to do alot of praying to get that feeling out of me...cause i thought it was so unfair...i couldn't say goodbye to either one of my boys.....so dig deep to find the comfort of God's arms.....and feel my hugs and prayers for you all....we will be with them again....love trish
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