Posted by trish
on March 15, 2009, 9:21 am
76.66.59.54
i'm having a wave of saddness the last 2 days..i was on facebook and seen a lot of pictures of all matt's friends and his girlfriend with her new guy all hanging out at sarah's place....it just sent me into a wave of tears and the homesick feeling.....i was wondering if they were thinking of him at all that night....then i looked onto matt's memorial site..and there was a note from sarah...saying how she thought of him all night and missed him so much and that she wished so much that he was there..and will love him forever and always.....made me cry again...and yet i knew it was God answering my question ....and there again life must go on....but i'm in such a funk...another man in this town committed suicide..a firefighter and paramedic...every one kept saying WHY HE HAS SO MUCH GOING FOR HIM..if they don't know the aganoy of mentle pain they will never understand...i believe there is a way out thru prayer...but in some cases i guess its not enough...i look at it like the pain of cancer, in the last stages..you cry out to God to take you home cause you can't take it any more..and He does...with menal pain that cry is not ansewerd the way we want(at the time)but God does give us means for relief....He is there.....my husband kinda scared me last nite with his talk of how suicide can be your only way out..cause he can't take it anymore....yet in the same breath he promised me he would never do that to brad and me....but its hard to get thru the day feeling the way he does...he relives the day the police came to his work to get him...he says it takes the wind right out of him....later that night he hugged me and said brad needs us too much he would be here til God says its time......i guess he could see it on me that i was worried...i'm just going to keep a close eye on him and keep the talking going....talking helps....and no he will not see a councsler..he does visit with our new minister...he really likes him.....lots of prayers..trish
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