"How long until I was over my head?" He couldn't tell, but the reality of drowning in it was beginning to sink in. James could taste the salt water. It burnt his lungs as he continued to tread.
Is this all his life had turned out to be? Was he destined to be a two week success, then fade out, like some child actor who had success for a short while, until the despair hit like a tractor trailer? Was he a repeated failure? Just a mistake which should have been wiped out long ago? No, it couldn't be. His name still meant something. His name still had some sort of value to it. James West-McNeil. Granted his name had value based on Ronnie's expense, but still, it meant something, correct? James wasn't sure, but reality was slipping. Slipping in to the cool, windy night. This was where he belonged. Where he was born, lived, and died. The icy waters of jealousy. This fate was given at his birth. He wasn't allowed to choose his own destiny. It was chosen for him. A destiny of sorrows and failures. Hell of a life.
But there was a light. A crisp, bright light cut through the dark night, like a warm knife through butter. The light caught James where he was in the water, leaving him wondering of who was interrupting this chance at escape. The lights slowly dimmed, then disappeared.
His heart sank to the pit of his stomach, as fast as it had risen. That moment of happiness escaped him in seconds, replaced by anger, and disappointment. James was still alone, and helpless. James stared at the stars, helplessly, and slowly submerged completely in to the icy water. He closed his eyes and held his breath as his head made it the entire way under.
He slowly waited for the undertow to grasp him, and out of this misery. He closed his eyes and allowed death to embrace him. Suddenly something caught his arm, and dragged him from his plummet. He opened his eyes and watched as he came closer to the light. It had returned for him, but why? James continued to be pulled to the boat, by a woman, it seemed. The cold water had numbed his body, but the curiosity of this encounter had livened him up.
The figure pulled James over the side of the boat, and almost immediately wrapped blankets around his shivering body. He laid there, wondering what to think of this. Was he so pathetic that he couldn't even manage to kill himself? Or did fate finally decide to look down on him in a positive light. He couldn't tell. Nor could he even fathom the situation at this point. He felt as if he'd been run over by a mack truck, Every part in his body ached, and burned. The salt water still in his lungs, James felt sick.
"Wh-why, did you save me?", he asked.
"I did nothing. You saved yourself James." Her response had confused him. He had seen her help him over board, he had clearly seen her wrap the warm blankets around him. She had helped James. How could he have helped himself? The voice of the woman was very familiar. Her dark hair pranced on her shoulders as she had walked towards James, giving him a warm cup of coffee.
She had stepped in to the light, and James had realized that this truly had been a sign. There standing before him, was his rescuer. Toya. Ronnie's Toya. James now knew what the signals, and signs had led up to. With Toya, James realized the unbelievable possibilities.
Toya was to be a tool. Used to play with the emotions of Ronnie. Payback was always a b###h.
"Thank you, Toya. You've opened my eyes.", he had said.
His plan had been set. There was little he could do but sit and wait on Ronnie to make a move. James had put his master plan in motion, everything had been going as planned. James had to gag Toya in order to keep her quiet. He thought he would've felt bad about everything, but he had nothing to lose. He had little sanity left, and no remorse. If this was going to work out correctly, James couldn't have any second thoughts. Things needed to be done the way he had planned.
James paced around the basement, gun in hand, rubbing his temple with the barrel of the gun. Toya was tied to a chair in the middle of the room, and gagged with a handkerchief. James looked at her, and laughed to himself, thinking how pitiful she looked. He would have Ronnie begging for her back. But the best part was, Ronnie thought James was in trouble. Everything was going as planned. Toya was making all of this much more enjoyable.
"So when do you think you're loving boyfriend will be around to save you?" James asked. He said it, full of sarcasm. He wanted to see Toya endure pain. He wanted her to experience what Ronnie had made him experience. She was going to pay for Ronnie's wrongdoings.
"How does it feel Toya? How does it feel to be betrayed by someone you love? How the f**k does it feel!?! But I won't complain to you about my life, you're already experiencing what I feel!" James's yelling cut through the silence in the basement, like a razor sharp knife. He stared at her, pure hatred in his eyes. His stomach burned with anger, as he walked to Toya, and jerked the handkerchief from around her mouth.
The tears were flowing freely down my face as I tried to stay calm. I couldn't though, I was scared for the life of my child and for my own. I had to get out of there, if I didn't I was sure he would have killed me. I was shaking with sobs as I also felt as though I could throw up. All I wanted was Ronnie to come and save me but I was sure he didn't even care about me any longer. I should have just given up all hope that I would be saved and at that point I had a sinking fear that I was not going to come out of this alive.
"Please James..." I looked at him with pleading eyes. "I'm carrying your niece or nephew. Don't punish them because you hate their father. They don't deserve this. All you are doing by keeping me down here is hurting them...James I understand why you feel as you do but please don't hurt us...Please..."
Her pleas were aggravating James. He looked at her in disgust. She was going to sit there, bound to the chair, and plea. He hadn't said anything about harming her, yet. He was using her as a tool against Ronnie. She was the wild card, and she was going to be used to the full ability. No if's, and's, or but's.
"Toya, I never said I'd hurt you, or the child. I'm doing this for a reason. To prove a point so to speak. But I will allow you to speak with him. How about that? Would that make it better?" Ryan took a wireless, house phone from his back pocket, and held it in front of Toya's face.
"Here, I will cut the ropes on your wrists to hold the phone. I will be upstairs. Fill him in on what's going on. But I swear to god if you say I'm doing this, I WILL kill you. Deal?" He said to her with a sadistic smirk on his face.
He walked over to her again, and pulled a small pocket knife out. He flicked it open and cut the binds wrapped tightly round her wrists. He then handed her the phone.
"Here. See what he can do for you now." James said as he walked up the stairs.
I took the phone and quickly dialed Ronnie's number. I held the receiver against my ear trembling the whole time. It rang about five times before I heard him answer.
"Hello?" I said as I put the phone to my ear.
"Ron it's me Toya. I'm not sure if you want to hear from me but I am in trouble. I need your help. If you ever loved me then please prove it to me...I really need your help."
I was in utter shock. I hadn't heard Toya's voice in a long time. It was dry, and raspy. As if she had been crying for days at a time. Something was truly wrong. All I could think about was the note that had been slid underneath my door. I felt as if I had been hit by a truck.
"Toya....baby, what is it? Where are you?"
"I don't know where I am Ron. Do you have any idea who's doing this?"
I said as I broke down into a loud sigh. I felt my legs give out and I quickly sat on the cold cement floor. I breathed in and out deeply. Part of me felt so happy to hear Ronnie's voice while the other part was angry. He should have protected me, he said he always would.
"Ron I have to get out of here...Our baby, what if he hurts our baby? He said he won't but he's crazy. I think he will."
"Toya! Who the hell is doing this to you. Tell me, please. I can't help you if I don't know." I felt as if I was going to vomit. My life was going back in to its downward spiral, back in to it's deep depression. But I couldn't sit back and watch this time. I had to help Toya. I truly did love her, and my unborn child.
"Ron...I..." There was rustling around in the background, and I then heard a man's voice speaking in the background. I thought I had heard him say "Shut the f**k up.", but it was very muffled.
"Listen Ronnie, I don't want to start problems between us, but I've been enjoying your girlfriends company. How about this Ronnie, I'll make you a deal. Show up on Friday, at the cafe I tell you to be at. We'll discuss this then. I suggest you come alone, or you might never see Toya again. Deal?"
"I swear if you-"
CLICK! He hung up just like that. Now he had my full attention. This bastard was going to pay. I'd probably end up killing him myself. But first I walked to the bathroom and threw up. My nerves were shot. Too much stress. I was in far over my head.
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No HWA, I’m not lying in wait.
I’m right here, standing front and center, facing the world.
The world wants to know why I set this plan on Senester, and when it began.
The world wants to know why I allowed him to find out it was me, and what will be next.
The world will know when I’m ready for them to know.
You are my focus this week. I’ve been itching to face you, my friend. We both know what we’re capable of, and you know that. We’re both in the same predicament, it seems. Both of us sat on high, and both of us have fallen back to the bottom. That’s life. And that’s where our similarities end.
You decided to put on your sad music and throw yourself a pity party of one because your people didn’t approve of the end result of your actions. Tough shit, Butch. What did you expect, that Diana would be perfectly fine with you committing numerous felonies just to save her life? That once the truth came out, that the world would overlook your actions as the trade off for saving your sister-in-law? That someone would somehow see what you did as...noble? If you thought that, then you’re even more drunk and stupid than I thought.
I’m down here with you, but unlike you, I’m not about to lose faith, or doubt myself. I’m going to pick myself up by my bootstraps, dust myself off, and go out there and do whatever it takes to get back to where I feel I belong. And it all begins with you. You’re already at a disadvantage, because you have everything and everybody else on the brain, and not this man standing in front of you, and that one thing, above all else I’m gonna unleash on you, is why you will tap out to the Long Kiss Goodnight. Then again, I’m not telling you anything you, or HWA as a whole, doesn’t already know. You may not give a damn, but I sure do, so f**k you Butch Parker...and f**k anyone who wants to think I’m a pushover too.
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