(Logan): Awright settle down ya bunch o’ gypos. One at a time eh lads.
(Reporter 1): Logan, I can’t help but notice you’re alone. Where is Ally Wilkinson?
(Logan): Ya nosey git. She’s wi Talon, she’s goin’ back wi him tae New York and am flying out tae Scotland for a few days.
(Reporter 1): I see. Considering the long journey ahead of you, were you tempted to skip Havoc seeing as you didn’t have a match?
Logan shrugs before waving his injured hand in the reporters’ direction.
(Logan): Not really, it was a well timed rest mind but I’ll be at every show as long as ma contract at H-W-A runs. Now unless you actually have any interesting questions am gonnae head.
He takes a step away but stops as the reporters fly into a frenzy again.
(Reporter 2): What about the rumour that Ally Wilkinson is pregnant?
(Logan): Ha! Naw....she’s no’.... At least as far as I know.
This reply is met with some laughter before Logan decides to speculate himself.
(Logan): What about the rumour that Eddie’s new girl friend is his SISTER!?
The members of the press eat this up and Logan folds his arms in satisfaction as they chatter amongst themselves.
(Logan): I mean it would make sense; the lassies got a face that would make an onion cry!
The reporters burst out laughing and Logan enjoying himself continues.
(Logan): She looks like she’s been set on fire and put out wi a golf shoe!
More laughter.
(Logan): I bet she’s got a pussy like a stab wound in a gorilla’s back!!
The laughter becomes out of control and Logan joins in now.
(Logan): Wait wait.... I’ve got it... She’s got a pussy like a ripped out fireplace!! Aaaah-hahaha!! Haaa!!.... I bet it’s like opening the window and ####ing the night!!
The mass hilarity continues for a few minutes until eventually everyone settles down, a smirk clearly visible on everyone’s face.
(Logan): But seriously, is he really that ####in’ stupid? I mean some b###h comes up tae ye and is like “here, you’re famous. I want tae be an actress an’ aw that. Dae ye mind if I just hang about ye and get famous aff yer coattails?”
The reporters look at Logan blankly for a moment.
(Logan): Ye’d be like “Naw, get tae ####. I’ve got enough tae worry about. Ye just turn up at ma door sayin’ ye ken ma brother and I’ve just believed ye, nae questions asked. Now ye want tae get famous aff ma back tae?! NAW!! GET OOT YA GLAEKIT COW!!”
Some reporters start to laugh again other nod agreeing with Logans observation.
(Logan): So they must be ####ing. Only logical conclusion.
Logan checks his watch and satisfied he’s entertained the members of the press enough he starts walking backwards towards his rental car.
(Logan): Cheers guys but H-W-A’s Most Loved has got tae head now. Take care.
He walks off and the reporters start joking amongst themselves, quoting Logans one liners as the scene fades to black.
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