(Butch): Ah Eddie, you don't half talk some pish, mate….
Butch shakes his head, leaning back slightly. He leans back forward a moment later, folding his arms across the table in front of him.
(Butch): But yeah, you're right about one thing, I'll give you that. You didn't wait for the HWA to make you a champion; you just waited for Talon to drop the ball and just picked up where he left off-
Butch stops mid-sentence, clicking his fingers.
(Butch): Oops, better watch what I say, I wouldn't want to repeat myself now would I? You'd like that, wouldn't you Ed? For me to keep going on and on about how your title reign was a pile of shite, how Hans made a complete mockery of your "reign".
Butch laughs despite himself.
(Butch): Look at me, I'm actually doing that and I don't even know it! Do you want to know the real thing that separates you from me Ed? What am I talking about? Of course you don't, because in Denial-ville, where everyone lives in their own little fantasies and thinks they're somehow better than everyone else, that's all that matters. But in this….
Butch emphatically taps the tip of his index finger onto the table.
(Butch): This is the real world Ed, and it's where us logical people tend to spend our lives. In your world, you seem to be this living legend, this high-and-mighty, holier-than-thou, ratings-smashing poster boy for the rich and famous.
A light snicker shoots from Butch's nostrils.
(Butch): You've been here two years Eddie and you think that the sun shines directly out of your arse, that you're the apex predator of the HWA and all other superlatives that at the end of the day basically say you're the best this company has to offer, and then there's me. Stagnant, apparently riding not only Hans' coattails, but somehow your's aswell? With little to no accomplishments in my seven-year tenure here, with apparently no friends, no one to back me up. Oh how much it sucks to be Butch Parker in the fantastic fantasy world of Eddie Phoenix….*Laughs* What a f***ing cock ring you are Ed…
See, in the real world Ed, I don't have to justify myself or go off on a tangent about my accomplishments to anyone, least of all you. I am professional wrestler of seventeen years Eddie; I, and the rest of the world know how f***ing good I am. See, beating you isn't one of my career goals, it's not a New Year's Resolution, it's just something I want to do Ed. I want to hurt you, I want to pound the living shit out of you, from one corner of the ring the arena to the other. It’s as simple as that mate.
Keep on living in that fantasy land of yours though Ed; that suits me right down to the ground. Keep telling yourself that there's a thousand of me for every one of you, that beating me means nothing to you, yadayadayada, it doesn't change anything one iota. You think that having almost an entire roster of angry pro wrestlers out to get you is something to be proud of?
An incredulous scoff resonates from Butch at this point.
(Butch): Oh how it sucks to be me eh Ed. I'd so love it if I had so many people gunning for me and wanted my head on a silver platter. Away and throw shite at yerself ya doollally prick! Having all these people after you isn't something to gloat about Ed. They don't want to take you out so they can say "check me out; I was the one that took out the great and amazing Eddie Phoenix!", they want to take you out so they can say "Thank Christ, that annoying piece of shit has finally been shut up!"
You are universally hated, Ed, are you that foolish that you don't realise that? Don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question. Why on earth would you think that I'd somehow be jealous of you being in such circumstances? If I really am alone Ed, you mustn't have been paying much attention at the end of Havoc, when I was standing side-by-side with not only Hans and AC, but Anton and Davis. So basically, you just blabbed the biggest load of shite I've ever heard. You've got the entire Spotlight division headhunting you, AC is as unpredictable as ever, we all know the history between you and Hans, I don't think I need to mention myself, because that is there for the world to see, plus you're constantly trying to get under Logan's skin. So you've got ALL these enemies but somehow it's me whose all alone? Me? Engaged to be married, me who's best friend always has my back no matter what the situation, me who even managed to tag with a man who I practically went to war with for the HWA World, but put those differences aside to kick the arse of a certain titty-twisting wanker that we both despise….
Butch shakes his head again, a pitying smile on his face, and sighs before continuing.
(Butch): As for your little challenges, you're right, I never seen that coming, Ed! I'd never have envisioned that, in a best of FIVE match series, that someone might've suggested stipulation matches, that really threw me there, Ed…. *Mutters* tit….
Butch takes a drink from a now lukewarm stale pint, if that's what you'd call it, of a random American cider brand.
(Butch): What a pish pint…
He screws his face up at the bland taste and pushes the glass aside before getting back on point.
(Butch): But let's see what you've suggested Ed…what have we got here, a cage match…hmm interesting….I believe I defeated Michael Dredge in a cage match, aswell as Ronnie McNeil in a three-tier cage match for the HWA World Title, so I wouldn't have any problem with that…..what else did you suggest? A submission match? Apart from being the only man to ever make Talon Wilkinson tap out, I don't foresee any problems in me doing it to you aswell…..TLC? I Decimated Nightmare and Derrick Hall after having my nose shattered in the first five minutes, and the ropes were also made of barbed wire, so again, no immediate threat there….Last Man Standing? Well you can ask Maniac how he fared when he faced me in that very match-type at Ring Master 2004 when I jackhammered from the top of a ladder through a table, so again I don't see that being much of a problem and an Iron Man match? Well, my inaugural HWA World Championship victory came in an Iron Man submission match that was nominated for match of the year aswell, so all in all, I'm fine with anything you think you can throw at me but I've got a couple of other suggestions….
Butch holds his hands up in front of him.
(Butch):…. If that's alright with your good-self obviously…*Butch rolls his eyes* how about you step into the Lion's Den, where the end result is either knock out, tap out or pass out…Or a Japanese Sabre's Dance match? Let's see….how about the Thundercage? No? Too risqué? Too violent for you? Can't say I blame you….anyway, I'm thirsty aswell now, might get myself another pint…
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