Yeah, this is the part that knocked me for six, Ronnie. That also made my opinion of you change slightly. And it took for you to point out the most obvious points for me to realise it. I will not justify myself or my actions, not deliberately anyway; merely to try and shed some of light so that some perspective may be taken from it....
A deep breath, whooshing up from the lungs and out through the mouth. He chokes back the waves of emotion dying to break free from inside of him. He keeps his composure for now, sniffing loudly to keep it in.
Have you ever loved someone so much...that the very thought of them being in pain, or being hurt or upset makes you feel like you've had all the air driven from your body? That is the love I have for my baby sister, Ronnie. The baby sister I raised from when she was in pre-school, the baby sister whose boyfriends were afraid to come to the front door, the baby sister I swore to my dying father that I'd do anything....anything to protect her and look after her.
You're wrong this time Ronnie. I didn't run to Senester because I was afraid to of responsibility. I was not going to allow my niece and nephew to grow up without a mother whose life was unfairly being ripped away from her before she could even put up a fight. I wouldn't allow that even if it meant securing my own personal circle of Hell when my own time is done.
The emerald green eyes are red now. Blurred with tears that can no longer be held back. The eyes narrow, expression filled with anger, with sorrow, with many emotions.
Would have done the same for Toya or your own niece, Ronnie had you found yourself in my position? If there was the slightest chance of stalling them from their final judgement, would you have reached for it? Tell me to my face that you wouldn't have done the same f***ing thing and then decide if you're a better man than me! If you had the chance to turn back the clock and chose not to have gone on a mass-murdering rampage with Evers and Shakir, would you have chosen to put the gun down and simply walk away
or are you happy with the decision you made that day?
An incredulous laugh finds its way out amongst the tears. He wipes them as best he can using the neck of his sleeveless jersey.
It doesn't matter though. None of it matters. Congratulations, Ronnie, you broke me. Made me doubt my own manhood, you've owned me and brought me down from the almighty lion to the whimpering cub you see before you. I'll see you at Road to Ruin, Ronnie, don't worry about that. I won't deprive you of the joy of finishing the job you've already started. But more importantly, I'll most definitely see you in Hell.
Fade out.
Sorry guys, had to split this up into two parts. Too many characters apparently!
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