Another Special Production From Romano Enterprises
*The scene fades in on a shot of a smiling and happy Maniac standing in front of a plain white wall. Maniac is dressed amicably in a dark black suit and takes a moment to pick some flint off his jacket arm and then flicks it away and looks back at the camera.*
Maniac: bit*hes and Gentlemen, thank you for joining me today. I know that I’m likely interrupting b*tch training for you fellows, but I feel that a history lesson may help you understand just why females truly are nothing more than bit*hes. So pull up your La-Z-Boys, send your bit*h to the kitchen, because bit*hes ALWAYS have something to do in the kitchen, and then open up your ears, and get ready for a lesson in Famous bit*hes, and The fu*k Ups That Changed History.
*Maniac then turns and starts to casually stroll away. The camera follows him, and eventually Maniac reaches a massive portrait of a tree, with a snake winding around it. On opposite sides of the tree stand a man and a woman, dressed in nothing but leaves. The woman is reaching to the snakes’ mouth, which has an apple in it. Maniac gives a moment to allow the picture to sink in and then reaches beneath it and taps a little plaque, which shows one simple name.*
EVE
The Very First Woman
*Maniac turns back to the camera and stands next to the portrait.*
Maniac: Ah Eve, this one is almost too easy. For those few of you gentlemen that possess only a single brain cell, Bryan Deas, Eve was the very first woman. She was created from Adam’s rib, and ever since Men have wanted that rib back. Adam and Eve lived in Eden, which is Paradise. They could have had eternal happy lives. If only Eve hadn’t become obsessed over that snake, and trying to become like God. God gave them one command; do not eat the apple from the Tree of Knowledge. So what does the stupid bit*h do? She eats an apple from the Tree of knowledge. Congratulations Eve, you’ve just displayed how fu*king stupid even the first Woman was. And yet people these days think Woman deserves the right to vote? To lead a country? To be a Champion? HELL NO!! Take a look at Eve’s story, and you’ll realize two very important lessons. One, Women are Retarded. Even when told by GOD of all people not to do something, they still do it. That’s not a mistake, that’s the first sign of mental retardation. Vanessa just happens to be the latest example. And the Second Lesson you learn is, even Eve couldn’t resist the snake. Vanessa, I saw your face at Havoc when I smeared blood on you. It was the first time in awhile you’d been smeared in blood. I’m sure after that experience you defiantly felt my presence. You probably tried your best to get the blood off but you can still taste it can’t you? You can still taste the blood in your mouth late at night as you lay there next to Hans. How was in Vanessa? How does it feel to have my blood grace your taste buds and give you something better then when you swallow for Hans.
*Maniac starts strolling the corridor again, and comes to another painting. This one is of an Egyptian, a red and gold headdress adorning her dark black hair. Maniac pauses for another moment, and then reaches forward and taps the plaque again.*
CLEOPATRA
The Leader Of Egypt
Maniac: Oh Cleopatra, where do I even begin. Cleopatra ruled Egypt, but how she ruled Egypt when she spent so much time on her back in the Roman Palace, I’ll never know. Cleopatra is known for two things, possibly three if the Sphinx rumor is true. Cleopatra was the lover of Julius Ceaser, who was then stabbed to death by his own government, and she was the lover of Marc Antony, and killed herself when he died too. Of course, because she was a #####, she had to have a snake bite her. Seriously, do all you women need to handle snakes? I’ve got a perfectly good snake here you can handle any time you want Vanessa. Maybe if you get laid, you’ll mellow out and realize your place is either bent over, on your knees, or on your back. There’s no fourth option. But I know you Vanessa, almost better then you know you. And I know that after you cost me my match at Havoc I am going to DEFINANTLY have some fun this time around. I haven’t really made up my mind though, on one hand I have that fat, worthless sack of sh*t that is my former tag team partner Bryan Deas. And on the other is Mr. “I’m better then everyone” Hans von Richtoven. Man, I just don’t know what to do. Who is going to win? Who is going to lose? More importantly who is going to get beat down so badly that they can’t continue anymore? I’m sick of playing these games Hans, I’m sick of watching you believe you have a chance. So get over yourself, get over your ego parade, and recognize that the pitiful little thing you call a title reign is over. At Havoc, I’m not going to show you revenge is a b###h. I’m going to show everyone that YOU’RE a b###h. I’m going show everyone how much YOU can bleed, and trust me when I say this Hans I am going to make sure that you are laid out drowning in a pool of your own blood. You think you proved anything when you attacked me at Havoc? All you proved is how afraid of me you are. All you proved is that you know what everyone else does. That you’re going to lose at the upcoming Havoc. And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.
*Maniac chuckles and then shrugs and adjust the cuffs of his suit jacket, looking at his watch as he does. He sighs and then glances at the camera.*
Maniac: I’m afraid I must cut this short. I have a lunch with some important people coming up. So until next time, just remember, old dogs don’t learn new tricks but new bit*hes can be taught anything. Just ask Vanessa.
*Maniac laughs and walks off as the scene fades to black.*
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