Your next title holder in the HWA!
The scene slowly fades open to the little wooden cottage at the North Pole. Snow is falling outside and there is a nice fire roaring in the fireplace, which is exactly where Santa is sitting. He rocks back and forth in his 500 year old wooden chair that he carved himself out in the Workshop, and on his lap is a giant, oversized bag that says: LETTERS TO SANTA written in giant red and green font. In Santa's hand is a letter which he has just finished reading. He shakes his head and then tosses it into the fire. He now turns back to Mrs. Claus and offers her the remaining letters to choose from. She considers this one for a very long time before she finally chooses the one letter that she thinks will suffice. This letter was sent in a stained envelope with sloppy writing and horrible grammatical errors and misspellings on it. The name on the front written in crayon reads: BYRAN DSEA.
Deer Sanda,
I hav ben gud & i want to no if u will kure my zits bcuz they are all over my arms and face. oh i also stop touchin myself like my mom asked so will u give me a new NES game?
ps, my dog is funy when he licks his balls lolz
ur bestest friend,
bynar sead
Santa goes to throw away the letter when he takes a look at the postal stamp on it and sees that the date was only marked a few weeks ago. Santa almost jumps in shock at the thought that the letter has been written very recently. He grunts in disbelief as he crumples up the letter and the envelope and toss both into the fireplace. For almost an instant it seemed as if even the fire didn't want to consume the letter, because even the fire had enough intelligence to realize that burning the letter would still never sear away its existence in the mind of Santa. The poor, jolly soul will now be emotionally scarred for the rest of his life.
Santa Claus: HO HO HO! Little Bryan, I remember you very well. You were the boy that was always naughty, always getting into trouble and always getting COAL for Christmas. You should know by now, young man, that if you want things, you have to work for them. I see that you whined and complained about how you have never been given any opportunities in the HWA to become a true star, or to get title shots and so forth. Well young man, I'll let you in on a little secret.
Santa lowers his voice to a near-whisper.
Santa Claus: It's because you suck. HO HO HO!
Santa looks back around, apparently making sure that one of the elves or Mrs. Claus didn't hear him use the "s" word. After all.. that's not a nice word for little children to hear and repeat.
Santa Claus: Now Bryan, I hope you'll take this to heart. You just aren't that good, neither is anyone else around the H.W.A., which is why I have made it my mission to make sure that everyone here is on their very best behavior. As you said yourself Bryan, Christmas is only 3 months away and I don't want to see any of the boys in the locker room trying to be good in November, because I do keep a very updated Naughty & Nice List, and I won't have people being nice for 30 days and expecting a lot of stuff. So start being good Bryan, and who knows, maybe your old buddy Santa will make sure you get a title match for Christmas!
HO HO HO!
The scene now fades out to snow.
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