"And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye, "Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!" When a familiar voice is heard under the cover of darkness.
Voice- Is this really someone who you want your kids to look up to? Is he really a hero to the people out there?!? Our viewers and fans look for a hero to be good. Someone wholesome. Instead they get this degenerate who is worried because he lost his wife to Antonio Banderas or something. And yet they seriously think this jolly fat man can stop me? They throw him to the wolves for slaughter?!? TSK TSK TSK!!!
The night Santa went crazy...
The night St. Nick went insane...
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal...
Something finally must have snapped in his brain...
Voice-Oh man fatboy!! You dont even know what management has done to you do you? What with you being all worried about the mrs. And her new set of clothes... TSk TSK TSK... See Santa while you busy tending to Mrs. Claus which I might add I am looking forwards to seeing more of... You signed a contract. Not just any contract big guy but a match with me?!? A match against one of the crazies who escaped the nuthouse?!? HA HA HA HA... You want to run around... pretending to be something your not?!? Don't worry fat boy come our match I will use you to show the people.. Our fans... OUR PEOPLE what a true mythic character you really are. I will show you for the fraud you are. I will show people the evil that hides within the sheeps clothing so to speak.
The music continues as the figure slowly gets closer step by step. "Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it... Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet... And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage... And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage... He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger... And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger... And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen!! And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts
Voice- There he is America! In a song, in the HWA his true colors will always end up shining through... But see Santa there is a new order in this town. I was checking my list and I see WAY too many bad checks here for you... Losing Mrs. Claus being the First and Main one. Heck with a valet like that I would never have to cheat. Ha ha ha ha. There comes a time when we have to grow up and put away things we believed as a child. Things like you old man. The time has come for new stories. New heros. New Legends. Its just too bad like all the others you forgot your place and got into my ring. TSK TSK TSK. Its time for a dose of reality Santa.
The song blares on
"Like the There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin' And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy"
Voice- But you love the kids and the fans and them screaming your name. Vanity its a sin Fat Boy look it up!! See this has gone on long Enough!! Its time to bring some respect and nobility back to the gold around here! Its time for prestige and fame glory and power to go hand and hand with the HWA titles!!! Instead we get you, Toast, Judas, Deas?!? Really?!?
The figure shakes its head as his shoulders shake. The music plays on...
"Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears... He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years... But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous... And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service!!
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night... Talking with her divorce lawyer negotiating the movie rights!"
"They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped"
"Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain!!"
Voice- But Santa man dont you worry because after I am done with you. After I use you as an example of what I am going to do to all the others. You are going to be but the first of a long line of people who are going to see the reality. Be introduced to the truth. Be shown there are still real wrestlers out here who believe in that gold strap. People who will earn it giving it everything they have and then finding more to overcome. To achieve greatness. And not manage to lose thier wife!! Gee I wonder will she be with you at ringside or with Antonio?!? Hmmmm ha ha ha!!
From out of the darkness comes a tricycle with a doll riding it. It slowly pedals into the fireight and the dolls head turns to the camera. It looks like a mix between Shiek Shakir and Achmed the dead terrorist. the mouth moves as it speaks....
Shiek Akmed- Silence you jolly fat INFIDEL!!! You know not of the darkness you face soon!! But I do!! He will show you and the world a new era has begun! A new time has dawned and with it we will leave INFIDELS like you behind where you belong! For what was before shall be AGAIN!! Ha HA HA!!
Suddenly he wheels back into the darkness and out walks Fallen looking at the camera. His long hair covers his face like a crazed maniac.
Fallen- Santa... Can you hear the voices?!? The people of the world. The people of the HWA all of them screaming for the lost glory, the lost pride, the lost honor it took to be the best. HWA are you ready?!? DO you want to see when real men got into the squared circle and the best of the best rose to the top?!? Santa are you that man?!? Or will you fall like all the rest before you have?!? I am sorry Virginia whereever you are but Santa may not be making Christmas he may be in the ICU!!! See you soon Kringle!! Ha Ha Ha!!! Ssshhh be verrrry quiet I am hunting Claus...
He pulls out a stake and hammer as he fades back into the darkness of the night and we hear "Grandma got ran over by a reindeer" begin.
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