"I gotta say. At first? I didn't know if me and Senester would get along like we did...but sometimes the stars line up just right and a beautiful explosion of hate and mayhem erupts in the ring. And that? That's what we had. It's no surprise to me that we won, either. Not at all. You see, I know every dirty trick in the book...HELL! I've actually thought of writing that book. it'd be a best seller in a week and a half."
The Camera follows Chuckles. He's not in his usual dank, dripping catacomb he usually broadcasted from. this time he was smack dab in the middle of Turkey. The clown is amidst a crowd of painted maniacs.
"It doesn't matter where I go, who I face, or what corner of the world they fly me to....there's always a select group of madmen in clown paint who cry for more, more, more! And as I said last time.....I'm going to give it to them. Have you all picked up on the subtle hints? Do you all know what's coming? I do! When I came to HWA I made a promise. A pledge if you will. I VOWED to bring Hardcore Back. Well if you ask Deas and Alice....I think it's kicking off just fine."
Chuckles could almost hear the boos he'd receive if he had said that in a packed arena. But here in Istanbul they just cheered the Scarred up vet. He Basked in their heavily accented chants of "He's Hardcore! He's Hardcore!"
"Hey Judas? Did she get my flowers? Oh I hope so. I spared no expense. I bought the Funeral special....because after what you guys did to poor, little Alice by bringing her out to the ring amongst monsters....she can't be far from Deaths door. And yeah. I know I should feel bad... But I don't. Do you hear me, Judas? I don't feel bad. As a matter of fact I'd dare say the stupid little b###h got exactly what she deserved....and let this be a promise. If I ever see her at ringside running that pretty mouth of hers again...I'll finish the job myself."
Chuckles, right on cue, started to laugh.
"But I'll get back to you, Judas. After all if you retain that belt.....I'm going to be the one to take it from you. If someone else takes it during that triple threat? I'll take it from them... But I'm Wishing you Luck Mercury. I'm cheering you on... because I want to be the one who humbles you. I want to be the one who takes your belt. Hell....I might even be kind enough to come down to Ringside to wish you luck. Might even help you along. "
As Chuckles walked he tossed his arm around one of his fans. The guy didn't speak any English but the language barrier was shattered by fandom.
"But that's the second goal. The First? Mister Butch Parker. Poor, poor Butchy. Looks like the bad luck keeps coming. Now you? I don't hate. I mean I hate Bryan Deas, I hate the Mad Hatter, but you? Awww Bruce this is just bad luck on your part. Now I know what you're thinking. Is Chuckles going to go out of his way to ruin you in almost every way the imagination can conjure up? Absolutely he is! But...I wont do it with any sort of hard feelings. Will I maim you with barbwire? Maybe. Will I stomp you? Likely! Will I DRAG your BLOODY and BLEEDING and BEGGING CORPSE TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AND BIG TOP DROP YOU DOWN TO HELL.."
Chuckles realizes he's shouting and takes a second to calm himself.
"Indubitably! I mean it's going to be quite a show! It's going to be quite a show because I plan on walking away wit ha victory over a champion....oh and Butch? For once...I'm flattering you, my opponent. I mean a guy like me doesn't go his entire career without watching a few of your five star matches...I mean that's all the motivation I need! The best against the best? I know there's an analogy in here about irresistible forces and immovable objects but I prefer plain English. We are going to beat the ever-loving hell out of each other in the kind of matches onlookers will say had no clear Winner....but we'll know better, wont we butch? "
"You, me....Champions. We'll know. After all butch..I have my very own show now and I need to bring the ratings up, up, up! You and I both know exactly what the people want and I'll give it to them! During my Match, During Mercury's match, during any part of the damn show I want because I am the MOST Psychotic man in sports entertainment, I am the hardcore Urban Legend, I am The Devil made Bastard...I am Chuckles the Clown... and I've never met a single man, woman, or beast on this planets that'll bury me. And that's what it'll take, Butch. So Tune in this week to CTV! We're going to go paint-balling in suburban neighborhoods, Terrorizing a Cheerleader squad with a chainsaw and a Hockey mask, and then we're going to the arena to soak the ring in blood. I'd tell ya to Enjoy the show , Butch, but you're not just any other opponent...I'll ask you after I'm done rubbing your nose in the mistake the booker made right before you pass out from blood loss."
And that's where the camera decided to cut to commercial. The Clown started his disgusting laughter that sounded a great deal like nails across a chalk board mixed with a childlike delight at the prospect of combat. Chuckles was, without a doubt, looking forward to this match.
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