.
* We open inside of the Renaissance Hotel in New York City. The cameras move through the lobby to find various guests signing in at the front desk while bellhops and staff members attend their directed tasks. The scene cuts to the third floor of the hotel and down a few hallways where the cameras stop in front of an open door. We move through the open doorway into an empty lecture hall where a camera crew is found setting up their equipment. A few seconds later the cameras cut to the doorway where we gain sight of Michael James casually entering the room. One of the men from the camera crew stands up and approaches James *
Man: Greetings, Mr. James. My name is Stanley Burke and I represent World Wrestling Magazine...
* James glares at the man with a frustrated expression *
Michael James: Okay. Then that would also make you the douche bag that decided to wake me up at the ####ing crack of dawn to do this bullshit. Is that right?
Burke: Well, you need to understand there is a slight time difference--
Michael James: Shut up. Just tell your crew to get their shit together because I don’t have all day to do this.
Burke: I understand, Mr. James. I assure you that we’re going to do everything we can to complete this interview without it interfering with your schedule. Hopefully, after we release this interview to the public it will cause a lot of the rumors that are speculating about your career to come to a stop.
Michael James: Rumors? What the #### are you talking about?
Burke: Well, for starters, there are a lot of people who are beginning to question your victory of the HWA All Star Championship. A lot of them have stated that you never actually won the title in accordance to exhibition rules.
Michael James: Oh yea? Which people?
Burke: People that are heavily involved in the industry. Website bloggers, magazine editors and writers for publications that pretty much run the independent side of the business.
Michael James: So, in other words, just a bunch of clueless douche bags that had nothing to do with my victory over Judas Mercury at Blood, Sweat and Tears.
Burke: Be as it may that’s not how the fans see it and that’s the purpose of conducting this interview. We want to hear your thoughts and opinions regarding that and a few other things.
Michael James: Fine. You got one hour.
* He reaches inside of his jacket and pulls out a flask filled with Sake. He takes a swig from the flask while the camera crew continues preparing lighting, sound and video for the shoot interview. James walks up the stairs of the hall and takes a seat in the second row. He places his sunglasses back onto his face before taking another swig from the flask. Stanley moves to the second row and sits down in the same section as James. He brings a microphone to his mouth and faces the camera *
Burke: Alright wrestling fans around the globe, Stanley Burke here with you LIVE! to present another exclusive shoot interview that you won’t find anywhere else but World Wrestling Illustrated.
* James interrupts Burke with a disgusting belch that is heard off camera. Stanley grows an irritated expression on his face before continuing his dialogue *
Burke: Apparently, the man I have joined with me today needs no formal introduction. He is an acknowledged world champion in various promotions throughout the United States and Japan, a former King of the Deathmatch and the current HWA All Star Champion. Here he is without further ado, the Personification of Perfection, Michael James.
* The camera pans towards James to show him lying back in his chair with no concern for professionalism. He takes another swig from the flask and spits some of it onto the floor. He puts up his feet and adjusts his sunglasses *
Michael James: I’m sorry Burke but that had to be one of the worst possible introductions I have ever heard in my life. Even a mentally challenged dipshit like Butch Parker could have done better than that.
Burke: You want me to do it again?
Michael James: No. I want you to do your ####ing job and stop wasting my time.
Burke: Alright. It’s your show. Asshole.
* He says with sarcasm under his breath *
Michael James: What did you say, Burke?
Burke: Nothing.
* He pulls up a stack of cards and begins to read from the first one *
Burke: Let’s start with what we were talking about when you made it here this morning. The Hardcore Wrestling Alliance All Star Championship.
Michael James: Okay.
Burke: There is a lot of speculation coming from miscellaneous sources claiming your current title reign is bordering fraudulence. In other words, people are saying instead of winning the championship by defeating Judas Mercury, it was handed to you as an improper reward by Elizabeth Shevington.
Michael James: Liz Shevington had nothing to do with my victory over Judas Mercury. I was granted an opportunity and I acted on it quicker than anyone would have expected. Is it my fault Mercury didn’t have the ability to kick out of my first pin? No, it’s not. He could have put forth an effort to keep his title but just like everyone saw at Blood, Sweat and Tears; he didn’t do that. He laid down like a dog and lost the All Star Championship to the man who continues to prove to be the new face of the HWA. Personal opinions don’t mean a ####ing thing to me. I don’t care if it’s from people in the company or if it’s from a bunch of pathetic fans writing from the confines of their mother’s basement. I won the All Star Championship by covering Judas Mercury for a three count at Blood, Sweat and Tears. A few weeks later I did it again on Havoc so I have nothing left to prove to anyone. I’m the best ####ing All Star Champion the company has ever had and that’s all there is to it. If a bunch of oblivious douche bags want to argue my word then I challenge them to do it to my face. I told people a long time ago that I’m not in this business to make friends. I’m in this business because I love being financially compensated to physically harm douche bags that are below me. Bryan Deas was below my standards and we all saw what happened there. I ripped him open and bled him like a stuck pig all over the damn ring. Not only did he lose his shot at my All Star Championship but he also lost the ability to legally compete in the HWA. Do you honestly think any one of those pathetic bloggers want any part of that, Burke?
Burke: Of course not.
Michael James: That’s right. And you know why? It’s because those weak mother####ers are just as full of shit as Deas was. I’m sure it’s easy talking shit behind the safety of a monitor but what would happen if I was to confront any one of them? It would be shit pants city upon the mere sight of me. Either way I can’t let any of their pointless rumors distract me in any way because they aren’t the ones keeping score. I am. You know why? Because I’m the undefeated champion they’re paying me to put an end to the decaying career of Bryan Deas. As of right now that ####er has no possible way of walking straight let alone competing for the world championship so I would say mission accomplished on my part. Like always, my predictions came true and now Bryan is nothing more than a lump of useless shit at the back of the line. Granted, that isn’t much different than he was before I put him on the shelf but at this point he isn’t just broken and beaten, he’s ####ing helpless. He might as well just throw in the towel and accept his career for what it is.
* He takes a swig from his flask *
Michael James: Ancient ####ing history.
Burke: Okay. Let’s move on to the next subject.
* Stanley shuffles the cards until stopping on an individual one labeled “deathmatch” *
Burke: Prior to your five year hiatus from the business you were known for your accomplishments surrounding the ultraviolent circuit, primarily the Japanese deathmatch that served as inspiration for a variety of promotions throughout the world. Should we expect to see any of those matches in your immediate future or is it too late in your career to risk your personal health for the sake of a championship?
Michael James: I always say to expect the unexpected. If you are constantly prepared for the worst there is only so much that people can throw at you. So far I’ve had a cluster of assholes thrown my way and it did nothing more but push my name that much closer to the top of the mountain. Is that the result that people like Stu E Price and Butch Parker may have expected? Of course it wasn’t. But that didn’t concern because I had bigger things to worry about than the opinions two mindless douche bags. I was ready for them just like I’m ready for anything that comes my way. I’ve proven that time and time again so tossing the idea of a deathmatch into the mix isn’t going to alter my current course of production. You just need to understand something right now, Burke. I’m not like anyone else in the HWA. They aren’t used to seeing someone with my type of skill so they have no possible source of defense. But like I’ve said in the past, that isn’t my problem. If someone like Butch Parker wants to continually #### up every opportunity placed in front of him it isn’t my problem. If Bryan Deas ends up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life because of what happened on Havoc, yep, you guessed it. Not my problem. I don’t give a shit about what happens to Parker, Deas, Price, Styles or any of those assholes. If they continue to prove to be nothing but shit they should expect nothing less than the worst possible treatment allowed. I’m not like that. I’ve proven to be a champion and that’s why the CEO pays me more than he does anyone else. You know why? It’s because unlike the dying breeds of the HWA, I ####ing deserve it. I’ve managed to capture more accomplishments in less than a year than any of those assholes have managed to earn since 2005.
Burke: What about Stu E Price and Freddie Styles becoming the newly appointed tag team champions? Would you consider that to be a valuable accomplishment?
* He scoffs at Burke’s question *
Michael James: If they had actually earned those titles the same way I did the All Star Championship, then yea, there would be reason to give them credit for a legit accomplishment. But it’s like you said, Burke. They didn’t earn those titles. They were appointed them so that pretty much eliminates any possible credibility for either Price or Freddie Styles. To answer your question, no, I don’t consider what they did to be a valuable accomplishment because they didn’t do a ####ing thing. I beat Judas Mercury in the middle of the ring to win my championship. Who did they beat? No one, that’s who. So far I have defended my title twice against two of HWA’s supposed heavy hitters to walk away without a ####ing scratch. How many people have Price and Styles defeated to defend their titles?
Burke: None that I know of.
Michael James: That’s right. None. You want to know why? It’s because Price and Styles don’t have what it takes to operate as a fully functional team. I’m sure Price wants to believe that he made the right choice with Styles but as we saw on Havoc things are not going to end up well for the tag team championships with those two clueless imbeciles in charge. Everyone knows they’re just going to lose on their first defense so at the end of the day it’s going to be nothing more than an endless cycle of repetitive bullshit. I’ve seen it all before and I never expected it to happen in the HWA. But that’s what happens when you let a walking menstrual cycle take control of company procedure. One bad decision can easily lead to catastrophic disaster. Personally, I could really care less what happens with Price and Styles. They’re going to do exactly as I predicted. Talk a bunch of shit, lose the championships and then go back to their stale and pathetic routines. I’m sure they’re getting used to the idea of holding company gold but much like Bryan’s reign with the world championship, it isn’t going to last. Neither of those assholes are championship material so they aren’t meant to be champions. They’re mid card for life so they might as well just get used to being second best. Or fifth best in the case of Stu E Price.
* A static feed interrupts the shoot interview. When the image clears we gain sight of a one story house located in a suburban neighborhood. A few seconds later a custom built Pontiac GTO slowly moves into the frame. There is death metal music heard playing on the stereo and a trail of smoke coming from the driver side window. The car pulls up in front of the house and comes to a stop. The driver door opens and we see Michael James step out of the car with a Cuban cigar gripped between his teeth. He has the All Star Championship draped over his right shoulder. He walks to the front of the house and knocks on the door. A man in his early twenties opens the door. *
Man: Can I help you?
Michael James: Yea.
* He exhales some cigar smoke into the man’s face *
Michael James: Is your name Barney Pattison?
Man: No. That’s my roommate. Why? Are you a cop or something?
Michael James: Do I look like a cop?
Man: I don’t know. Sort of.
* James removes his sunglasses and he places them inside of his jacket *
Michael James: Well, I assure you, I’m not a ####ing cop.
Man: Okay. But that still doesn’t answer my question. Why do you need to find Barney?
Michael James: I need to talk to him about something.
Man: You aren’t going to hurt him, are you?
Michael James: I wasn’t planning on it. He applied for a job with my company a few weeks back—
Man: Wait a second. This is work related? You want to give him a job?
Michael James: That’s right.
* Barney’s roomie suddenly drops his guard and opens the door a bit further *
Man: Why didn’t you say that in the first place? That guy owes me half a grand in back rent. Come on in. I’ll get him for you.
* James snuffs out his cigar before entering the one story residence. The roommate moves towards the back of the house while calling out to Barney. James patiently waits in the living room taking notice of the various posters decorating the room. He grows a disgusted sneer when he gains view of a poster featuring Butch and Wisdom Parker. Moments later the roommate is seen walking back into the room. Following behind him is an overweight man with a face full of acne in need of a serious bath. When Barney looks up and gains sight of James he grows a panicked expression *
Barney: ####!
* Without any kind of warning Michael James shoves the roommate out of his way and begins aggressively moving towards Barney. In an effort to make an escape through the hallway, Barney trips on something on the floor and lands flat on his face. James grabs hold of one of his ankles and drags him along the floor. He easily pulls the defenseless blogger along the floor until making it to the back bedroom. James drags Barney into the room and releases hold of his ankle. He lifts Barney up by his John Cena t-shirt and holds him up within arm’s length *
Michael James: Hello there, Barney. I think you and I need to have a little chat.
Barney: No…no we don’t!
* He says with a cowardly tone while he stutters out his words *
Michael James: Oh, so now that I’m here in person you got nothing to say? I’m offended!
* He violently tosses Barney down on top of his WWE play set causing a variety of action figures and toys to smash into pieces. James approaches Barney and leans down *
Michael James: You want to know why I’m so pissed off, Barney? HUH?!
* Barney covers his face and cowers like a scared kitten *
Michael James: It’s not that hard to figure out.
* James reaches inside of his jacket and pulls out a piece of paper. He unfolds the paper and shows it to Barney *
Michael James: Mistake me if I’m wrong here, Barn. But according to this page I printed from your blog, you seem to have a LOT of problems with the Personification of Perfection making a return to the world of professional wrestling. So you know what we’re going to do right now?
Barney: Um…I-I-I don’t know…
Michael James: We’re going to find a way to FIX all of these problems you have with me. What do you think about that?
Barney: I don’t know…I’m really scared right now…
Michael James: You’re scared? Why? Is it because for the first time in your life someone you decided to publically shame is here to call you out on your bullshit?
Barney: No…I—Just---Please…
Michael James: No? Are you calling me a liar?!
* He drags Barney up by his shirt and tosses him across the room. Barney crashes into his desk directly on top of his Mac computer. The construction of the desk collapses upon his landing causing Barney to crash to the floor. James approaches Barney and leans down once again *
Michael James: You need to understand something, Barney. I’m not a patient man. So what I’m going to do right now is give you a choice. You can either decide to live with that choice or you can suffer the consequences. Are you ready?
Barney: No…my back hurts really bad…I can’t move…
Michael James: Alright. Consequences, it is.
* The cameras cut to the exterior of the house. A few seconds later the cameras move to a frame of the front window. Suddenly, the glass shatters by the force by Pattison’s body being tossed through the window from inside of the house. The front door opens and Michael James makes his exit with a casual stroll. He begins walking to his car as a few of the neighbors emerge from their homes to see what the noise is all about. James pays no attention to the crowd of people moving towards the house as he opens the driver side door to his GTO. He gets inside of the car, closes the door and starts the engine. The car peels out of its parked position and quickly speeds down the street. A static feed cuts out the promo *
* Fade Out *
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