06/04/2013
The Wood Mill Restaurant
Dunfermline, Scotland
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* We open with an exterior view of The Wood Mill restaurant in Dunfermline, Scotland. The sun is shining down on what appears to be a regular afternoon for the local dining establishment. A few seconds later, a pitch black stretch limousine pulls into the parking lot. We can hear the sound of death metal blasting from the inside of the car. The car comes to a stop and the driver steps out from the front of the vehicle. He walks to the back of the car and opens the passenger door. A jump cut sets the scene inside of the building where a crowd of Dunfermlines are seen enjoying their lunch. The front doors open and we see a large man entering the restaurant dressed in black. When the camera glare clears the frame zooms in on the man revealing his identity as the undefeated HWA All Star Champion, Michael James. A large number of the locals stop what they are doing upon sight of James, most of them wide eyed in amazement from the sight of an actual celebrity. He removes his sunglasses and casually approaches the bar. He removes a cigarette from his mouth and blows a cloud of smoke into the air. The bartender is quick to approach James *
Bartender: Pardon me, sir.
* James ignores the man *
Bartender: Aye!
* James turns his sight towards the scot *
Bartender: I don’t know where ya think ya are, fella. But we have ourselves a smoking ban in here.
* James replies to him in Japanese *
Bartender: Come again?
* James takes another drag from the cigarette and blows the smoke into his face *
Bartender: Okay, you had your fun, now. Put it out or pay the price.
* James inhales one last drag from the cigarette and drops it into a glass pitcher filled with beer. The bartender begins to clench his fists as James begins to mockingly laugh at his frustration. He says something else in Japanese while pointing to a sign posted on the wall. The bartender turns his attention towards the sign *
It reads “THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT”
* The bartender turns back to James just as he begins to move away from the bar. He begins to look around the establishment with an expression of disgust. His attention seems to be focused on a section of the wall that the owner used as a dedication to their home town hero, Butch Parker. A huge poster of Butch and Wisdom is seen with Parker’s autograph at the bottom. There are multiple framed photographs of Butch eating at the restaurant and sharing drinks with a selection of the employees *
Michael James: In less than a week, I’m scheduled to go head to head against Butch Parker in what is supposed to be recognized as a “debate”. Personally I could really care less what they want to call it. Everyone knows there is only one possible outcome and it isn’t going to be one supporters of Butch Parker will be expecting to see. Since the day he decided to spit my name out of his mouth, I made it a point to become a metaphorical thorn in his side. He could have made the smart move by showing me respect instead his embarrassing acts of immature racism but he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to do what he does to everyone else by trying to outshine my talent with his mindless ego. But much like his prior efforts to get under my skin, he couldn’t do that either. So now he’s stuck in the middle of a war that he knows he will never win. He can lie and say he’s more than willing to do whatever it takes to achieve victory but I refuse to listen to the bullshit. Unlike everyone else on the roster, I can’t sit by and willingly support the actions of a bold faced liar. I’m sure guys like Fallen, Draconis and Freddie Styles have no problems doing it but I’m nothing like any of those useless assholes. I’m the undefeated All Star Champion. I don’t have to make imaginary claims of greatness or empty promises. I’m living the dream they wish they could have. I’m everything they wish they could be. I have managed to accomplish more in my short time than any of those assholes have since 2005. And that includes Butch Parker. He’s the world heavyweight champion. So what? He doesn’t have a flawless record or the center of the entire company’s attention. As far as I’m concerned he might as well be in the same league as people like Heckler, Kosh and Bryan Deas.
* He directs his sight towards one particular image of Butch. It is a sepia toned picture of Butch in the early days of his career. He is standing in the middle of a wrestling ring having his hand raised by a referee. James rolls his eyes as he looks back to the poster of Butch and Wisdom. He pulls a sharpie marker from his pocket and removes the cap. He illustrates several genital warts around the mouth of Wisdom and crosses the eyes of Butch in order modify the poster’s accuracy for continuity *
Michael James: As each day passes by my value in the HWA continues to rise. Everyone wants a shot at my championship and only one of them have earned the right. But you know what? I’m used to that. In this industry there will always be a handful of undeserving assholes expecting something for nothing. I’m not one of those people. Since I defeated Judas Mercury to become the All Star Champion, I have brought a new level of prestige to the title that none of the prior champions were able to before. That’s why it’s the most sought out prize in the company right now. At this point it really has nothing to do with the ranking system. People want the All Star Championship because they know they can’t take it from me. Everyone wants what they know they haven’t earned and that’s why I refuse to take any of them seriously. I know they don’t like it but I don’t really give a shit. I didn’t become most feared man in the HWA by being a nice guy. I did it with the same ruthless intelligence and unmatchable aggression that put Bryan Deas in a ####ing wheelchair. Unlike Butch Parker, I earned my flawless reputation the old fashioned way. What has he done lately besides robbing Senester of the World Championship? I can’t think of anything. Ask around the locker room and even the fans will tell you that Butch Parker is the same pitiful sack of shit he was in 2004. He isn’t the future of the company. He’s barely the present. All he’s doing at this point is wasting people’s time and it makes me want to ####ing puke. No one wants to pay money to listen his tired bullshit anymore. And you know what? I don’t blame them. I was sick of listening to Parker the moment he first opened his mouth close to six months ago. Hopefully, losing the World Championship to a better man will give Butch the inspiration needed secure his permanent leave from the company.
* James turns away from the wall and takes a seat at an open table. He gets comfortable and begins looking over the menu. A few seconds later a waitress approaches the table *
Waitress: See anything to fit your fancy, sir?
* James looks away from the menu and directs his attention towards the waitress *
Michael James: What?
Waitress: How about a drink for starters?
Michael James: Alright. Do you serve Sake here?
Waitress: I’m not sure. I could check for you.
Michael James: Forget it. Just bring me a glass of bourbon and a sirloin.
Waitress: That we can do. I’ll be back quick smart with your drink.
* James looks at the waitress with a confused expression as she turns away from the table. A waiter passes by his table and James signals for him to stop. He glares at an individual dish that seems to resemble of bowl full of diarrhea *
Michael James: What the #### is that supposed to be?
Waiter: That’s our famous Wood Mill steak pie.
Michael James: Okay.
* James sticks his finger into the bowl and the waiter jerks the tray away from him. James tastes the sample of the steak pie. Disgusted by the taste of the sample, he starts to gag and spits the food onto the floor *
Waiter: Sir, please don’t do that--
Michael James: What the hell is it famous for? Food poisoning?! That tastes like shit!
* A few of the customers turn their attention to James and the mention of his food being poisoned. The waiter tries his best to calm everyone down. A few seconds later the waitress returns and places a glass of bourbon on the table. James thanks her and takes a sip from the glass as the waitress turns away. Suddenly, he grips his stomach and feels a sudden burst of unwelcome gas in his gut. James stands up and moves to the bathroom. He walks into a stall and takes a seat on the toilet. He locks the door behind him and notices another framed picture of Butch Parker mounted on the wall of the bathroom stall. James hears an alert on his cell phone and he pulls the phone out of his pocket to receive the text message. He reads a new message from HWA management regarding the official card for Road to Ruin. James smiles as he looks at the very bottom to see his name booked in a grudge match against Butch Parker *
Michael James: For the first time in months it appears that Shevington has managed to do something right. It might not be what I asked for but it’s still a chance to make an example out of Butch Parker. Keep in mind, with his desperately low intellect it really doesn’t take a lot of talent to overcome the efforts of a complete imbecile. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Butch Parker is not a smart man. He has a short temper that causes him to act like a spoiled child when he is faced when any kind of controversy. Instead of thinking out his problems like a rational human being, Butch tends to kick and scream hoping someone will pay attention. No one cares about the current World Champion. They don’t want to listen to his words or see him with a title he hasn’t earned. And as much as I hate to side with the people who serve as nothing more than a paycheck, we are all in agreement that something has to be done about Butch Parker. The company needs a man that can represent the World Championship with class, dignity and the natural born talent to achieve victory. That man is me. The Personification of Perfection. The undefeated All Star Champion. The only name on the entire roster with a flawless reputation and the ability to defeat anyone at the drop of a ####ing hat. I have brought new levels of greatness to the All Star Championship so I will have no problems repeating history for the good of the company. When is the last time we even heard from Parker? Two weeks ago? Gimme a ####ing break. If he doesn’t want to stay active with the rest of us then he might as well quit and spare people the agony of listening to his routine bullshit. I’ve heard what he has to say and I’m still not impressed. I don’t want to hear his excuses anymore. I just want my shot at the World Championship.
* James rips the framed photograph of Butch from the wall. He punches the glass covering and pulls out the raw photograph *
Michael James: Excuse me while I push out a Parker.
* James turns his head to the side and closes his eyes. He makes a silent grunting sound followed by a loud fart *
Michael James: From where I’m sitting, the HWA deserves more than anything Parker can possibly deliver. Why else would he have a reason for laying low? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what’s going on with Butch Parker. He’s scared of Michael James. He’s scared of losing to me because he knows it’s bound to happen one way or another. So far, I’ve been the only one to challenge him for that championship. I don’t know if I’m the only one who truly understands what it means to be a World Champion but either way, the lack of confidence around the locker room is working in my favor. Maybe the rest of those useless assholes have some kind of homosexual oath to Parker that I’m not aware of. It really makes no difference to me. The only thing I’m concerned with is honoring my flawless reputation through the pain and humiliation of oblivious assholes. At Blood, Sweat and Tears; what started with Stu E Price quickly developed into my victory of the All Star Championship. At Road to Ruin, there is no way to know what to expect. The card could say one thing and end up being a completely different scenario in a matter of days. Right now, all I have to look forward to is a grudge match against an egomaniacal douche nozzle. And I’m fine with that. In this type of match I could rip Butch Parker’s heart from his chest, jam it down his throat and it would be perfectly legal. If he has no pulse he can’t defend the championship and the HWA would have a new champion they can be proud of. It’s like Ivan Drago said in Rocky IV. If he dies, he dies. It isn’t my problem.
* James stands up and uses the photograph of Butch Parker to wipe his ass. He drops the crumpled image into the toilet and flushes it. James makes an exit from the stall and casually returns to his table. He takes a sip of the bourbon and leans back in his chair. A few seconds later the waitress returns with his sirloin and places the plate down on the table in front of him. She offers to get him a refill on his drink and he happily accepts her offer. He picks up the fork and James stabs the center of the steak. He uses the knife to slice through the meat. He jams the fork into a small piece of sirloin and brings it to his mouth. He bites down on the sirloin and grows a satisfied expression on his face *
Michael James: I don’t think it will come to that. Hopefully, Butch will realize how much he ####ed up when he decided to start disrespecting my name. Hopefully, he will accept this loss and recognize his place with the rest of the mid card clowns. But knowing Butch like I do, he won’t learn a ####ing thing. You want to know why? He’s an idiot. He’s always been that way so losing the World Championship for a third time isn’t going to give him some kind of random boost of intelligence. He was born an imbecile and he’s going to die an imbecile. Think about it for a second. We’re talking about a guy that married a transvestite with bigger testicles than his own. We’re talking about a guy that had a chance to become the World Champion on three separate occasions and flushed each opportunity down the ####ing toilet. I don’t know about the rest of you but in my personal opinion this isn’t the type of ass clown we need representing the company or the World Championship. The joke was funny at first but no one is laughing anymore.
* He picks up his glass and takes a sip of the bourbon. The ice in the glass moves around as he swishes the liquor in his mouth. He swallows the bourbon and directs his attention towards the wall devoted to Butch Parker. He grows an expression of bitter disgust on his face before looking away *
Michael James: As far as Butch is concerned, he just needs to treasure the memories he had with the championship and realize that it wasn’t meant to be. Sometimes, personal hopes and dreams of stupid people have to be set aside for the greater good. Butch Parker happens to be one of those people. He had his chance to become the face of the company but unfortunately a better man beat him to it. Just look at all of the promos from the last week and you’ll see what I’m talking about. People aren’t talking about Butch Parker. They’re talking about me. You want to know why? I’m the only thing that matters in the HWA and everyone ####ing knows it. Butch can deny it all he wants but at this point it’s going to do nothing more than further prove my point of his mindless ignorance. Truthfully, he seems to do that well enough on his own. But then again, this isn’t an intelligent man we’re talking about. It’s Butch Parker, the most oblivious douche bag in the history of the HWA.
* He stabs the steak with the fork and cuts away another piece of the meat. He uses the fork to place the food inside of his mouth. He chews and swallows the appetizing steak before taking another sip of bourbon. Out of nowhere, we see the small hand of a child tap James on the shoulder. He looks down and gains sight of a twelve year old girl around with a golden blonde ponytail. He can’t help but smile down at her *
Michael James: Yes?
Girl: Is your name Michael James?
Michael James: Possibly.
Girl: Well, come on, is it or isn’t it?
Michael James: You’re kind of pushy, you know that? Why do you want to know my name?
Girl: ‘Cause if it’s you I can get an autograph and show my friend that’s stupid in love with Butch Parker. He gets on my bloody nerves.
* James drops his fork and gives the girl his full attention *
Michael James: You want to see something funny?
Girl: Okay.
* He points towards the poster and shows her the graffiti he illustrated on both Butch and Wisdom Parker. The girl begins to laugh and giggle as he turns back to James with a huge smile on her face *
Michael James: Shhhh.
* He places his index finger in front of his mouth *
Michael James: But to answer your question, yes, I’m the one they call Michael James.
Girl: Finally.
* She says with childish sarcasm causing James to laugh *
Michael James: So, what can I do for you?
Girl: I already told you. Autograph.
Michael James: Wait a second. Aren’t you a little young to be watching HWA? The violence factor alone almost cost the company their contract with the network in the states.
Girl: Well, this isn’t America so things are different when it comes to stuff on TV. We have a special access channel at my parents flat that shows nothing but wrestling and horror movies. It’s pretty cool.
Michael James: You’re the last person I could imagine being a horror fan. But, then again, that’s why I always follow the rule to never judge a book by its cover.
Girl: I don’t like books. I like TV.
Michael James: Me too. Especially when it has something to do with Butch Parker getting his butt kicked.
* The girl begins to giggle once again. James reaches towards an empty table and picks up one of the menus. He flips it over and pulls out his sharpie marker. He removes the cap and prepares to give the girl his autograph *
Michael James: Okay. What do you want it to say?
Girl: To Mattie…
Michael James: Is that you?
Girl: Duh.
* James keeps a smile on his face as he follows Mattie’s directions regarding the autograph. A slow fade cuts the scene and ends with a static feed *
06/05/2013
Dakota Edinburgh Hotel
Dunfermline, Scotland
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* The feed clears and the image gradually begins to focus. We open with an exterior view of the Dakota Edinburgh hotel. The camera pans up the building until stopping midway up to gain sight of a large man standing a few feet away from his room window. We move through the glass and into the room to find Michael James pacing around his exquisite suite. He is wearing a black robe with Japanese symbols printed along the arms and back. He opens the window and takes a moment to visually analyze the view of downtown Dunfermline. He builds up a wad of phlegm in his throat and spits it out the window to show viewers an example of how he feels about his trip to Scotland. He places a blunt between his lips and uses a lighter to ignite the tip. He inhales a drag from the blunt and holds the smoke inside of his lungs. James moves away from the window and approaches his laptop. He pulls up a browser and goes directly to the HWA website. He clicks on a link that reads “James vs. Styles II”. He begins reading a press release involving Freddie Styles and his shot at the All Star Championship. He closes the laptop and moves back to the window and takes another drag from the blunt *
Michael James: When I look out to the horizon, I envision a variety of events that are destined to commence. The first to develop is clearly obvious. I’m going to be the next HWA World Heavyweight Champion. Butch Parker isn’t the same person he was five years ago. He’s a broken down version of a man that used to qualify as championship material. When people look at Parker now all they can see is shit. When they see him with the World Championship, all they can do is laugh. You want to know what those same people do when they look at Michael James? They jump to their feet and begin to sweat in anticipation of what I’ll do next. Unlike Parker, I’m not going to take willingly take people’s money and pretend to give them an unbelievable performance. When people see my name booked in an event coming to their town they know they’re going to get their moneys worth. Even if the entire card is nothing but shit, people know without a shadow of a doubt that their experience with the Personification of Perfection will be worth the price of admission. I’m the one people love to hate. But at the same time, I’m also the one they can’t live without. This type of persona comes natural to me because I live and breathe the words behind my name. Unlike Parker, I’m not going to lie to people about who I am or what I can do. Butch says he has no limitations but if that was the case why has he been ducking me for the last two weeks? If you asked me, fear and cowardice are definitely two things that I would consider to be serious limitations. The next event that is destined to develop will be my second victory over the ass end of the tag team champions, Freddie Styles.
* James takes another drag from the blunt and inhales the smoke into his lungs *
Michael James: Don’t get me wrong, Styles. I get it. You love attention. But what I don't understand is why you think anyone would want to give it to you. I mean, let's face facts. After this match is all said and done not much is going to change for you. No one is going to take notice of your loss to me so you're basically just going to be going back to where you started. Where’s the fun in that? Granted, it will be fun to watch you try, fail and have to work your way back up but it's not going to be as appetizing on your end. You probably think you're untouchable going into this match. You probably think you're the next big thing since you've been given the opportunity to become the second highest ranking champion in the company. Confidence is always a plus when it comes to circumstances as delicate as this one. But you know what? This isn't your match to win. I know you have it set in your head that you're the above all guy that's going to achieve the impossible but the fact is you aren't facing Bryan Deas or some piece of shit that isn't prepared compete on your level. You're dealing a guy who is more than ready to see you dead before letting you walk away with MY All Star Championship. The fact is whatever you've learned, whatever you feel has served as a life lesson means nothing now. I've been there, done it twice and gone back for the reunion show. Everyone has a breaking point and after I beat your ass one more time you will learn where yours is Styles. You'll learn that you're not the up and coming legend that you expected to be. You'll learn that I wasn't kidding when I said that you can't win.
* James grips the blunt between his teeth and unties his robe. He steps back a few feet to reveal the HWA All Star Championship fastened around his waist. He exhales some smoke from his nostrils and removes the blunt from his mouth. James looks down at the championship and admires the custom faceplate built to his specifications *
Michael James: You didn’t win the first time around so this rematch isn’t going to be any different. I’m going to defend my championship while making a complete joke out of your career in the process. In my eyes, that’s all you really are at this point. You’re just another ####ing joke like Bryan Deas, William Draconis or Steve Angel. You aren’t anything like me Styles. You aren’t anything special or unique. If you were, you wouldn’t be sharing a championship with a douche bag that has become famous for his undeniable losing streak. I refuse to associate with losers. If someone can barely stand on their own two feet it isn’t my responsibility to teach them how to walk. You’re the complete opposite Styles. You have no problems lowering your standards knowing it will help keep that useless championship around your waist. Unlike you and Parker, I don’t need the assistance of anyone. That’s why I’m still the champ after defending my title on multiple occasions. And don’t take my new found alliance with the Sheik the wrong way. He has sworn loyalty to me out of respect. I’m sure in your feeble mind it’s a way to insure our individual safety and that’s fine. Keep relying on those inaccurate accusations and see how far it gets you. People saw what happened to Bryan Deas when he underestimated me and the same thing can just as easily happen to you, Freddie. You know from experience that I’m not a patient man. If you don’t want to approach me like a professional I will have no choice but to grant you the same courtesy I have to all of my other weak minded opponents. And that’s fine with me. If you want to be just another Butch Parker and portray the personality of a complete imbecile then it’s your prerogative. Just do me a favor and keep these mistakes in mind when you end up on your back having your meals fed to you through a ####ing tube.
* James takes another drag from the blunt and moves back into the room. His cell phone begins to ring. He moves towards the nightstand and picks up his phone to check the caller identification. He takes the call and brings the phone to his ear. He begins speaking to someone in Japanese. He carefully snuffs out the blunt and ends the call. James sets the phone down on the nightstand and closes the window. He sits down on the edge of the bed and begins removing his robe. He unfastens the All Star Championship and carefully folds the straps behind the fifteen pound faceplate. James places the title to the side and slides his arms through a fresh shirt. While he continues getting dressed, the words of Freddie Styles echo in the back of his head like a splitting migraine *
“Michael James nor Heckler & Koch disturb me. I'm Freddie Styles. Tag champion, and in a couple weeks, the new All-Star champion”
Michael James: I hate to be the one to break it to you but after this is over the only thing you’re going to be is in a world of hurt. You might still be Stu E Price’s b###h but you definitely won’t have anything to do with my All Star Championship. You might be a worthy competitor but your pointless ego tends to block any sign of possible intelligence or ability to succeed. You’re just like Butch Parker and that isn’t a good sign, Freddie. It means no matter how hard you try you will always be destined for failure. And yes, I know you look at him and see a man you can admire. But what you need to realize is that he isn’t the knight in shining armor that you and Wisdom make him out to be. For starters, he didn’t win the World Championship on his own. He dropped to his knees and performed oral sodomy on Bryan Deas in exchange for a title shot. I don’t know about you Styles but in my opinion that isn’t what I would call an admirable quality. Unlike Butch, I didn’t have to go down on anyone to earn my championship. They called my name and the next thing I know I’m the new All Star Champ. But it’s like I said before. You aren’t anything like me so that isn’t going to happen for you. The only choice you have left is to appreciate learning how to lose with style to a man you can actually respect. If you can’t handle it then there isn’t much else I can do for you. I understand you want to be the champion. You want to do the impossible. And that’s great. It’s good to want things. Unfortunately, I’m the undefeated flagship champion and I refuse to lose to a piece of shit like you. It isn’t going to happen.
* A knock is heard at his door. James gets up from the bed and looks through the keyhole. He opens it and invites three separate large Japanese men into the room. They all appear to be wearing designer suits like something out of a modern gangster film. They gather around the table and take a seat in what appears to be a private meeting with Michael James. Suddenly, the frame cuts to a static feed *
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