Taki: Hello and welcome to the Taki-Maru Sports Show. Today we will be holding an exclusive interview with a man famous for his exploits in the sport of professional wrestling. And despite a lot of the beliefs that the people in Japan have about this particular celebrity we are very excited to have him with us today. So without further ado allow me to introduce the current HWA All Star Champion, Michael James.
* A cloud of smoke appears in the image as Michael James appears from the right side of the frame. He is wearing an Armani suit and his trademark sunglasses. He has the All Star Championship draped over his shoulder. James casually approaches the smaller man and inhales a cloud of smoke into his face *
Taki: Welcome to the show, Mr. James.
Michael James: Thanks a lot, Taco. It’s good to be back in Japan.
Taki: Sorry. You must be confused. My name is Taki.
* James looks away from the camera and directs his attention towards Taki *
Michael James: I’m not confused about anything, Taco. As a matter of fact I’m doing you a damn favor just by stepping foot on this God forsaken show. So, you know what? If you want to keep your spleen you’ll think twice about trying to correct me.
Taki: Understood.
* James turns his attention away from Taki and back towards the camera *
Taki: But since we do have a limited amount of time let’s go ahead and get started. First question. How do you feel about the most recent statements made by the HWA World Heavyweight Champion, Butch Parker? He said, and I quote, “Contrary to what you may think, Michael James is not the center of my universe. You're not championship material, Michael. I know it, Wisdom knows it, everyone knows it.”
* James inhales a drag from his cigar and grows a devious smile on his face. He adjusts his sunglasses and removes the All Star Championship from his shoulder. He hands it to one of the production assistants and begins to crack his knuckles. He turns towards Taki and drops him with an open handed b###h slap across the face *
* Taki lies motionless on the floor as a few stage hands and production assistants are heard speaking to one another in Japanese. James leans down and picks up the microphone while one of the assistants drags Taki out of frame. Michael James exhales some smoke from his nostrils and is handed the All Star Championship. He gracefully places the title belt over his shoulder and grips the leather strap *
Michael James: Let’s get something straight right here and now, Butch. You might be able to fool a lot of people with your constant lies and deceit. But you know what? You aren’t fooling me for a second. I see through your bullshit now just like I did when I first met you. And just like then you are relying on the same pathetic tactics in an effort to get your point across. But then again, you don’t really have a point, do you? I didn’t think so. All you do is run your mouth with words that only make sense to you, Wisdom and the rest of the clueless douche nozzles that refuse to accept the truth. And you know something, Butch? I don’t blame you. If I was a nutless douche with no sense of self confidence then I would probably refuse the face the way things are meant to be. But I’m nothing like that. I’m the man that has the ability to guide his own future. I’m a man that is an ongoing legacy on his way towards the very top of the company. I can face the truth because I represent the kind of reality you refuse to accept, Butch. I represent everything you fear and that’s why you have to make an ass out of yourself just to stand toe to toe with me. I’m better than you and I proved it at Road to Ruin. I might not have won the world championship but I still did everything I said I was going to do. Unlike you, I didn’t lie about achieving victory over the “Legendary” Butch Parker. I said I was going to win and that’s exactly what happened when I pinned your shoulders to the mat. You can use whatever excuses you want, asshole. Go ahead and call me a liar. Do whatever you can to compensate your own bullshit. I’m not the one that lost at Road to Ruin. That was you, Butch. Unlike you, I didn’t lie to anyone. I told the truth like I always have.
* James adjusts his sunglasses and looks away from the camera. He begins to pace around causing the camera to dolly back in order to capture his movement *
Michael James: As far as being championship material is concerned I don’t think you have much room to talk. It’s like you said in your last promo. In order to be a champion you have to possess the ability to defend it with pride. But you haven’t done that. Have you, Butch? I can’t say the same. Unlike you I have successfully defended my title against two opponents so if anyone has room to talk about championship material, it’s Michael James. Not some paper weight dipshit that has yet to defend his championship against anyone on the entire roster. Sure, you did things in the past that you’re proud of. We get it. But what you need to understand is no one gives a shit about the defenses you had in 2005. They care about what you’re doing now and as far as I can tell you haven’t done a ####ing thing worth mentioning. Even when you had a chance to defend the championship at a high profile event you took the chicken shit approach and decided to get your lawyers involved with a last minute stipulation. You know what that tells me about you, Butch? It says you’re scared to defend the championship against Michael James. You’re scared that I’m going to take the only decent thing you have left in your pathetic life. And you know something? It’s only natural for you to be scared in this kind of situation. You can’t win and you know it. So what do you do? Deny, lie and then lose everything on account of your own stupidity. That’s exactly what happened at Road to Ruin. You said you would prove all of my words to be lies and what happened? You didn’t prove a ####ing thing to anyone. I’m not a liar. I’m a man of my word. I follow through every single time and I refuse to accept failure as an option. And that’s why I’m going to be a better World Heavyweight Champion than you could ever dream to be.
* He ashes the cigar and begins to walk out of frame. The camera follows James as he approaches a water cooler and uses the tap to pour some water into a cup. He pours the water down his throat and crumples up the cup in his hand. He tosses it aside and turns his attention back to the camera *
Michael James: For starters, I would be the kind of World Champion that would have the ability to use intellect before stupidity. Unlike you Butch, I’m able to process my dialogue instead of spitting out the first thing that comes to mind. Unlike you, I’m known as a man with extensive amounts of knowledge and intelligence. If I make a statement and you can bet your ass it’s going to be one of truth. When you try to do the same it doesn’t always work out the way you expect it to. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be asking me if I have won the world championship when you know I have only been with a company for less than a year. You would use intelligence to put two and two together and realize I would need a shot at the title to earn the world championship. But, since you’re clearly an idiot, you weren’t able to do that. You just spit out anything you thought you could use against me. And you know something? That’s the kind of tactic I have come to expect from you, Butch. Right now you’re losing the war. You have nothing left to use and you’re doing whatever you can to keep from choking on your own bullshit. And there’s no shame in that. But there’s also no shame in admitting defeat when you have to no way to fight back. That’s what you should do, Butch. You already showed everyone in the company that you can’t beat Michael James. So, what’s the point in trying? Do the smart thing and save yourself the embarrassment of losing another match. You can either hand me the World Championship on your way out the door or you can force me to do things the hard way. We all know you won’t make the right choice, Butch. You never do and that’s why you have the reputation of a natural born loser. Failure is to Butch Parker what success is to the Personification of Perfection. Just do us all a favor. Go ahead and die.
* He runs his finger across of the bottom of his throat *
Michael James: Despite what people want to believe about my personal character I have always been a man of strict morals. I believe if you have to sink to lower levels in order to achieve success it isn’t worth the effort. Unlike Butch Parker, I’m not willing to drop down to my knees in front of Bryan Deas for a shot at the World Championship. I have always earned my opportunities through blood, sweat and back breaking labor. At Road to Ruin I was able to secure a future shot at the World Title with a victory over Butch Parker without breaking my own moral code. Butch on the other hand, did what he “had to do” to the testicles of Bryan Deas in order to earn his shot against Senester. I only did what comes natural in order to earn my opportunity. Unlike Butch, I’m not a self degrading piece of shit pretending to be something I’m not. I say I’m undefeated because no one can beat me. I say I’m the best All Star Champion in the history of the company because I prove it with every single defense. Butch says he’s going to give Deas the fight of his life but we all know better. If they had their way they would end up in a sixty nine position in the center of the ring. No one wants to see that. Despite what Parker and Deas want to believe people aren’t going to pay top dollar to watch two assholes take it easy on each other. They’re paying to see a fight and that’s exactly what I’m going to be giving them. When Butch defends the World Championship against Bryan Deas I’m going to be sitting in the front row to make sure everything goes according to plan. And no, I don’t mean your plan, Butch. I’m referring to my plan to keep the World Championship exactly where it needs to be. All I require is one shot and that title will belong to Michael James.
* James taps his cigar and causes some of the ashes to fall to the floor. One of the production assistants moves into the frame with a broom and quickly sweeps up the mess. James blows a cloud of smoke into his face as he rushes to move out of frame *
Michael James: I hate to be the one to break it to you Butch but no one is jealous of you. Just the idea of someone looking at you with a sense of envy is ####ing laughable. What attributes do you possibly have that anyone with half a brain would want? No one wants to win a world championship through oral sodomy. I know it wasn’t very hard for you but you’re used to that kind of thing. No one believes anything you have to say because all you do is lie, Butch. You said you would beat me at Road to Ruin. You said you would beat Senester for the World Championship at Blood, Sweat and Tears. You didn’t do any of those things. All you did was talk a big game and lose the way you always do. You say I’m an egomaniac. There’s no denying that. But unlike you I have earned the right to say whatever the #### I want to say. Granted, everyone should be allowed the freedom of speech. I’m not trying to argue anyone’s constitutional rights. But at the same time I also believe there should be a law against sociopaths that rely on the manipulation of others for personal gain. That’s you to a ####ing T, Butch. You wanted us to believe you were a super hero when you couldn’t defeat the villain. You told the world you were going to be the end of the All Star Champion and I’m still here. You say you won the World Championship on your own when everyone knows it was only because of Bryan Deas. You’re a lying piece of shit, Butch. Do you really think your supposed “fans” are going to sit around and pretend to smile while you let them down at every turn? Don’t count on it, asshole. They don’t believe you anymore. No one does. They know you’re a fraud and they want nothing to do with you. And you know what? I don’t blame them.
* One of the network’s associates begins to motion at James while pointing towards his watch *
Michael James: Excuse me for a second.
* He removes the cigar from his mouth and moves out of frame. A few seconds later we hear James arguing with the man in Japanese. He yells at the man and grabs a hold of him by his throat. The All Star Champ pulls the man towards him and violently snuffs out the cigar on the man’s forehead. The associate begins to scream in pain as smoke begins to rise from his brutal wound. James shoves the man to the ground and begins to wipe the ashes from his shirt. He turns away from the associate as a few of the production assistants swarm to his aid *
Michael James: Despite whatever lies you want to believe Butch you aren’t at the top of the food chain. As far as I’m concerned you might as well be in the same league as Judas Mercury. Think about it for a second. Just like you he lost to Michael James at a high profile event. And just like you he will never have the ability to recover from the loss he suffered to me. You know why? It’s not ####ing possible. You need to understand something, Parker. When you lost to me at Road to Ruin it knocked you down a peg. Before you lost to me you were the best the company had to offer. Now, you’re barely cutting mid card status. I know it isn’t the reality you want to accept but that’s just the way things are now. If you want to be at the top you have to beat the best and you haven’t done that. You beat Senester to become the champ. Well, guess what? I’m not Senester and you haven’t beaten me. It’s like you said before. I’m the number one contender. That means I deserve a shot at the championship more than anyone else and that includes your lover Bryan Deas. If he loses this match it will be the end for him. No more title shots, no more sympathy matches, no more nothing. After reading his last joke of a promo I would say it’s exactly what he deserves. If he knew anything about this industry he would know better than to try to claim unlimited opportunities. I’m the biggest asshole in the entire company and even I know better than to #### with the natural pecking order. But it’s like I said before. Bryan Deas is ####ing stupid. He already has Senester prepared to cut off his head so it seems kind of pointless for him to be making selfish demands. Judging from what I’ve seen in the archives you don’t cross the boss and live to brag about it.
* James turns away from the camera and rolls his eyes when a few medics lift the burnt man onto a gurney. They roll him out of the room while the siren of an ambulance is heard wailing in the distance *
Michael James: Just take a look at the history between Senester and Butch Parker. It took Butch four efforts to score one victory over Senester. Usually, the saying goes “three strikes and you’re out”. I guess they had to make an exception for Butch the same way the short bus gave him special treatment in high school. That’s the only way to handle a complete imbecile like Butch. He refuses to listen to reason so he puts everything on the line against impossible odds. Unlike most of his opponents I have no pity for Butch. I don’t care if he’s an idiot. He’s holding something that he hasn’t earned and that pisses me off to no extent. I’m sure he will try to use that as a weapon and I’m prepared for that. Despite whatever plan of attack he wants to use I will always have a way to counter his pathetic assault. I will always be two steps ahead of him. You know to know why? Because I’m smart and Butch is an uneducated fool. But then again you can’t expect to learn very much from people that are shit faced twenty four hours a day. It might not be Butch’s fault but that doesn’t excuse him from his constant acts of disrespect. He made the decision to cross me. I told him it wasn’t a good idea and now he’s paying for his mistakes. And despite everything we’ve been through I still hold nothing personal against him. I don’t really care who I have to beat to take the World Championship. It could be Parker, Deas or even Stu E Price. I could beat all three of them at once if that’s what it takes. My focus is set on one thing and I’m not going to allow anyone to distract me.
* James watches as they open the back door of the studio and place the man into the ambulance. He clears his throat and spits on the floor. James moves out of frame and the cameras follow him through a narrow hallway. He enters an empty office and casually takes a seat behind an expensive desk. James props his feet up on the desk and leans back in the chair *
Michael James: I’m going to level with you, Butch. The future does not look very bright for you. I understand that you think your time and experience in the HWA is going to help you keep the World Championship around your waist. But sooner or later you’re going to have to come face to face with reality. It doesn’t matter what you might have done before. You had the chance to prove me wrong at Road to Ruin and you failed to get the job done. Sure, afterwards you came out and admitted defeat to a better man. You did your part to assume the role of a respected champion. But only a few days later you decided to show your true colors by running your mouth with the same bullshit you used before. Personally, I don’t think that was your idea. I think you got sick of listening to Wisdom b###h like a hyena and decided to take one for Team Parker. Don’t take this the wrong way, Parker. I can understand where you’re coming from. What I can’t understand is why you would put yourself through this much trouble just to keep a smile on Wisdom’s distorted face. Think about it for a second. You’re going to lose the World Championship to me and what will you have left? Nothing. That’s what. You don’t have a family. You have a ####ing domestic freak show and you’re thrilled to death about it. That’s why I refuse to feel sorry for you, Butch. You don’t listen because you think you know everything. If that was the case you wouldn’t have lost to me. You wouldn’t have lost to Senester or Steve Angel. You wouldn’t be the loser you are today. But, who are we kidding? You’re never going to be anything more than Wisdom’s lap dog. This is your final run with the World Championship so I suggest you enjoy it while you still can.
* James grows a demented smile on his face and a static feed cuts the reception of the footage *
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