Santa's eyes light up as his two best friends arrive at his cottage. He stands up and welcomes them into his cottage as Easter Bunny walks over and sits on the couch, while Frosty wisely walks across the room and sits away from the fireplace on a futon couch. Their plastic faces don't even show the slightest hint of why they are here... but Frosty's muffled voice can be heard coming from within the costume... speaking in his normally slightly high pitched voice.
Frosty The Snowman: Hi Santa! We just came by to wish you the very best of luck for your match in a few days at Havoc.
Easter Bunny: Just watch out Santa.. everyone knows you're supposed wait to make any kind of threats until you get on the internet. That's what I do from my Bunny Hole. I just go to YouTube and make all kinds of mean threats in the comments section. But anyhow, Santa... we were just chillin' in Frosty's igloo watching some of the HWA happenings and we figured we'd go ahead and drop by and see what's up.
Santa Claus: Ahhh... Thanks boys, I sure do appreciate it. You two have always been my two biggest supporters, and for that, you two will both have something to show for it at Christmas. Hell, who knows, maybe if I decide to do another Christmas in July next year, maybe I'll give you two boys some presents then too. After all, you get what you deserve, and you two definitely deserve something really nice for all of the help you've been to me during my little adventures at Hardcore Wrestling Alliance.
Frosty The Snowman: Hey, don't even worry about it. If anything, I owe you more than you owe me. You helped light that metaphorical fire under my ass to get me motivated. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have asked The Thanksgiving Turkey out for dinner. It was so nervous that I almost crapped a stack of snowballs right there. But with your encouragement, I made it through. That's why I'm here... to encourage you the way you encouraged me. Plus... if they allow interspecies marriage in Texas, maybe I'll get married to Thanksgiving Turkey!
The Easter Bunny looks happy at the announcement.. he never gets to have his dream wedding.
Easter Bunny: More than that, we're here to tell you about your opponent. We know that you have to fight Draconis. I wouldn't worry too much about him though. He's actually quite busy at the moment. You see, Frosty snuck over into his locker room and sprayed some generic, flat soda everywhere. Oh man, it was hilarious. It even got all in his bags. I even took a dump in his gym bag, Orton-style! It was amazing.
Frosty The Snowman: Yeah, and that Sheik Shakir dude. We took care of him. See, Easter Bunny went up to him and was all saying, "Hi, I'm the Easter Bunny." and then as he turned to look at E.B., I ran over and kicked him straight in the Dubais! It was so funny, because he went on his knees to the ground faster than Wisdom on Butch Parker. Me and E.B. laughed the whole way here.
Santa looks a little distressed at this, but he doesn't say anything. After all, he does need every helping hand that he can get, and the idea of these two holiday icons doing something like that for him.... well... it was almost enough to make the fat bastard cry. Almost. But luckily, he thought about something to distract himself from crying... so he thought about Wisdom naked. That did it. Yep, there we go. That took care of it.
Santa Claus: While I understand and appreciate what you two have done for me, I would prefer that you didn't mess with these guys. They're all a mean, nasty bunch and I'm surprised that not a single one of them has come after you. So more than likely Frosty, you'll probably get what's coming to you. So I'd be very careful. After all, if you two guys get injured or hurt, then who will have my back when I'm having to defend my All Star Championship once I become the champion at the next Pay Per View?
Santa grins as he thinks about him winning the All Star Heavyweight Title. It's so close now that he can almost feel it around his huge, gigantically, morbidly obese stomach. Hey, they might even have to get an extra length of leather just so he can fasten the belt around his sexilicious, rotund waist. Only a few days away, that's not bad at all for an average Joel from the North Pole.
Frosty The Snowman: Nah I'm not worried. Anyway, you shouldn't be worried at all. Those other people are just jobbzorz. I've seen Draconis in action. Granted, it was because I had drilled a hole into his locker room... but woooo man can he work a rod. Dude was working that rod like nobody's business. I mean, my carrot almost glazed over.
Easter Bunny: What in the holy hell are you talking about, dude?
Frosty The Snowman: Oh, my bad, I watched him fasten a rod back into a shower piping. It was actually pretty cool. He's quite the handyman around HWA. I'd love to give him a rod to fasten.. if you know what I'm sayin'!
Santa rolls his eyes and sighs audibly. Leave it to Frosty to be the guy to make the first sexual remark in their otherwise clean and family-friendly conversation. It was always Frosty who stirred up the shit. Quite literally, sometimes.. with his penis.
Santa Claus: Yes, dammit, we know what you're saying. You and Easter Bunny seriously need some sexual addiction counseling or something along those lines. You two boys are worse than some of the wrestlers and managers in HWA. And I think you both have seen some of the interviews from their Adults Only section on Showtime After Dark. Needless to say, they can get quite graphic and obscene. I'm just completely ashamed of you right now, Frosty. You too Easter Bunny, because I know you egg him on. Figuratively, not literally.
Frosty and Easter Bunny both look ashamed. Well... they would if their plastic, costumed faces were able to actually move or emote in any kind of way. But instead, you'll just assume that they appear ashamed, since they're both hanging their heads and unconsciously picking away at their costumes.
Frosty The Snowman: I'm really sorry about that Santa. Sometimes I guess I just forget to think before I speak. I blame it all on my disorder. Sometimes when I chew, I get this clicking noise in my jaw and then when I swallow, I make that weird goinking gulp that makes me sound like I have been dying of thirst.
Easter Bunny: Yeah, I am also really sorry big guy. I do the same thing. Except I'm in a bunny costume... so you know how Furries are with sex. This costume makes me want to go out and hump a light post or a hole in the ground for that matter. Sometimes, I even walk by a donut shop and I get aroused just for no reason at all. It makes me want to dip my easter eggs in their donut batter and go to town back there!
Santa shrugs it all off and sets his pipe down on the bricked fireplace barrier and smiles as he stands up and walks back over into the kitchen. He grabs another tray of cookies, but this time they are an assortment of different cookies. The variety is almost undescribeable as he walks back in with the tray. There are Gingerbread Men, sprinkled cookies, chocolate chip, M&M, peanut butter, oatmeal, Oreo, sugar, spiced cookies, shortbred, and even some strange combination of all of the above in a single cookie. Frosty and Easter Bunny each take a cookie, (actually Frosty takes a handful), and then Santa walks back over and sits down in his rocking chair with the tray of cookies in his lap.
Santa Claus: I am so excited about Havoc that I can hardly breathe. To think that I am actually this close from winning my first Championship... well it's just brilliant. I feel like I want to jump up and cheer at the top of my lungs... but I am also so nervous that I don't know if I'll even be able to express it into thought. The only thing that I know is that it's going to be a tough fight for me. I need to win this contendership match and then make my way towards the champion, the man that everyone in HWA despises, Michael James. But I'm not scared at all, I'm going to beat Draconis and then I'll make my way to Michael James and finish things once and for all.
Santa tries to express this by flexing his muscles... but unfortunately... his flabby fatty arms are covering up the little bit of muscle that he has. Of course, this doesn't stop Santa from trying. He still does strike an imposing visage, mostly because you know how a fat guy can look pretty freakin' mean when he tries to flex and all? Yeah, that's how Santa looks right now. He looks pretty mean. In fact, he looks means enough to actually back up the exact things he was saying just moments earlier. He's taking this just about as seriously as he has anything in his entire life. Seeing the tension in the room, the Easter Bunny and Frosty both decide that it's better to leave Santa now, than to stick around and listen to him drone on for another hour about Draconis. So they both make their way to the door.
Frosty the Snowman: Thanks for letting us drop by, Santa. We'll be back though, don't worry.
Easter Bunny: Yeah, Nick. We've got your back at Havoc, and we'll also have your back at the Pay Per View too. It's gonna be great.. just wait and see!
Santa Claus: Thanks boys, that really means a lot. Have a good day! HO HO HO!
Frosty and Easter Bunny both wave at Santa as Frosty turns and walks in a southerly direction while the Easter Bunny now turns and hippity hops away in the completely opposite direction. Santa wipes away a tear of pure happiness at the thought of his two best friends coming over and attempting to lift his spirits before this difficult match up in front of him. He closes the door and latches the deadbolt on the door. He walks back into the living room and sits by the roaring fire in his favorite rocking chair once more. As he stares deep into the fire and contemplates his upcoming match, the scene fades out to snow.
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