* A static feed opens the scene as viewers gain sight of what appears an empty studio. There is a large HWA emblem on the wall with a separate emblem placed underneath the official seal. The text on the emblem reads “Breaking Butch Parker: The Rise and Fall of the One Man Tartan Army”. A few seconds later the HWA All Star Champion Michael James steps into frame wearing his trademark leather jacket and sunglasses. He has the All Star Championship draped over his shoulder while the camera operator zooms in show viewers at home a preview of the new official Michael James t-shirt that he appears to be wearing underneath the leather jacket. The angle moves back and returns to a full frame position with James standing next to the emblem. He removes a cigarette from his mouth and exhales a cloud of smoke from his mouth *
Michael James: Konichiwa to all of the loyal fans, friends, followers and long time supporters of the HWA. My name is Michael James and today I will be your host for a very unique segment covering the life and times of the man we know as the World Heavyweight Champion, Butch Parker. And yes, I know what you’re thinking. It’s probably just another one of my efforts to mock his career, right? Wrong. You want to know why? Because everyone knows I’m not that kind of guy. If I say I’m going to go out of my way to present the history of someone’s accomplishments, no matter how wasteful or pointless they may be, I will have no problems upholding my side of the bargain. I’ve always been a man of my word and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. But then again, this segment isn’t about me so that really has nothing to do with what I was sent here to do. If this is how Shevington wants me to portray a “display of good faith towards my co-worker” then I guess I have no choice in the matter. Personally, I would have been much happier picking up garbage on the side of the highway with Fallen and Freddie Styles so I guess it’s true when they say you can’t always have what you want. Sometimes life can be a b###h and there’s nothing you can do about it. I know for our friend Butch Parker life has never been fair or easy due to his lack of basic common sense—
* James is suddenly interrupted by the director of the program. He tells the All Star Champion to use the cue cards that are being supplied by a production assistant standing next to the camera crew. James rolls his eyes and takes another drag from his cigarette *
Michael James: Let’s take a look back on some of the classic confrontations that helped Butch make it to the top of the mountai—
* James breaks character and directs his attention towards the director *
Michael James: Are you being serious with this shit?! Top of the mountain? Really?!
Director: He’s the World Champion, isn’t he?
Michael James: No. He’s a temporary title holder. Butch is pretty much equivalent to the position of someone like Union Cane from Rocky five. The only reason he has the gold is because he doesn’t have the balls to defend it against the only man on the roster with an undefeated record.
Director: So if he’s Union Cane are we supposed to recognize you as Tommy Gunn?
Michael James: Hell no. I’m the HWA All Star Champion Michael James. I don’t need to be like anyone because I define the physical and intellectual definition of perfection. #### Union Cane, #### Tommy Gunn and #### you if you honestly believe that I’m going to follow your useless cue cards.
Director: Then it looks like we’re going to need to find another host. Hey, Brian?
* A small man sitting behind a control board turns his attention towards the director *
Brian: Yea?
Director: Can you roll the first match while I take care of this?
Brian: I sure can.
* He reaches towards a switch on the control board and flips it with his finger. The image cuts to footage from a match featuring Butch Parker and Michael Dredge. It appears to have been filmed a while ago judging from the out of style clothing worn by the sold out audience. A static feed interrupts the footage and a few seconds later we cut back to the image of James standing in front of the camera *
Michael James: Hey there, fans. Welcome back. Now that we have a few technical difficulties out of the way we can continue my personal overview Butch Parker’s fraudulent career.
* The cameras show the director lying on the floor with a large gash in his forehead. His right leg begins to twitch *
Michael James: The first thing I would like to do is take us back to a particular night when Butch had no problems showing the world his true colors. Coming from my point of view it was a moment that went down in the record books as one of the best matches in the history of the HWA. For people like Wisdom and Butch Parker it was a night that could have ended with glory and greatness. Instead, it ended up becoming the reason why Butch has earned the reputation of the biggest coward and turncoat in the entire company.
* The image cuts to footage from a prior pay-per-view event titled Blood, Sweat and Tears. Senester is seen standing in the center of the ring with the HWA World Championship strapped around his waist. Butch Parker’s music begins to play and he is seen making his way towards the ring. James begins his own brand of commentary that mixes with the footage *
Michael James: Here we see Butch performing his usual “hey everybody look at me” routine on his way to the ring. If you pay close attention to the look on his face you can tell that he knows this match isn’t going to end well for him. But, it’s like I’ve always said in the past. You can’t fix stupid and you can’t legally shoot a douche bag in the mouth with a loaded shotgun. Anyway, back to the action. Like I said before here we see Butch wasting everyone’s time in an effort to be the center of attention. Blah, blah, blah. High fives and hugs. Go #### a tree you disgusting hippie. As I can recall the last time Butch tried to do that to me I kicked him in the mouth for pulling such a dip shit move. As you can tell Senester isn’t impressed at all with anything Butch has to offer in this match. And that’s one thing I could always appreciate about the boss. He doesn’t waste time because just like me he knows that failure is not an option. Butch knows that failure is always an option and that’s why he is always dragging ass. If he knows he can’t win the most he can do is enjoy the time he has before racking up another defeat. He tried to do that when he faced me at Road to Ruin and I made him pay for it. Judging from the way Butch keeping his distance from the champ it looks like Senester is about to do the same thing. I said it before and I’ll say it again. Great minds think alike.
* The footage of the match is cut into individual segments. First, two minutes of Butch Parker beating on Senester. The next five minutes, Senester doing his best to defend the World Championship. The clip cuts to a pivotal point in the match where Butch is given the decision to win the World Championship or to leave so he can be present for his birth of his daughter *
Michael James: This is the part where Butch starts to #### everything up. Instead of trying to claim the victory and win the championship he decides to stand around with his thumb in his ass like some kind of ####ing imbecile. Sure, the chance of Butch scoring a three count on Senester will always be impossible odds but he didn’t even try to win the match. He put forth zero effort to win that championship and that’s why he had no problems leaving the arena with his tail tucked between his legs. For Butch Parker; Blood, Sweat and Tears was the night that he decided to forfeit his chance to become the World Champion. He said he was going to give it his best and he didn’t do a ####ing thing but lose like he always has in the past. To be honest, the concept of celebrating the career of someone like Butch Parker is an insult to me. As far as I’m concerned the only thing he should be celebrating is the fact that I haven’t buried his ass alive for the sake of my own amusement. Sure, I put an end to his credibility as a human being by exposing his racist views. But you know something? That isn’t enough for me. If he still has the World Championship then I still have a lot of work to do. If he still has the ability to run his mouth with the same lies we’ve been hearing for over the last year then it means people are relying on me to put an end to his senseless bullshit. That isn’t a problem for Michael James. I have no difficulty being a man of the people the same way I have no problems being the man they love to hate. I can do it all because unlike Butch Parker I have no limitations. When I have victory looking me dead in the eye I don’t run away like a scared little b###h. I seize every opportunity and win every single match.
* The audience erupts with mass negativity as Butch moves away from the ring. He is counted out of the match and Senester is announced as the winner and still World Heavyweight Champion *
Michael James: You see what I’m talking about? All he had to do was return to the ring for a lousy three seconds and he would have been the World Champion. But Parker couldn’t do that because he’s allergic to success. When it comes to that weak minded piece of shit making the right decision he is always going to settle with the worst possible outcome. He didn’t want to be alone so he married the first ##### that came along. I couldn’t live with that kind of reputation but apparently Butch has no problems being the source of his misery and public shame. Sure, I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a hand in his downfall but that doesn’t mean he can blame me for all of his problems. He was the one that decided to marry Wisdom after waking up with her hairy testicles resting on his chin. He could have run like hell but he didn’t do that because Butch doesn’t understand or respect the concept of common sense. For someone like Parker it might as well be ####ing rocket science because he’s never going to figure it out. He’s never going to know right from wrong or up from down because he’s comfortable being known as a man with shit for brains. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be watching footage of him running away from Senester right now. If Butch had any type of common sense he would have been standing in the middle of the ring celebrating his victory with the HWA World Championship. Obviously, things didn’t work out the way he said they would. He lost the match and Senester was able to extract another pound of flesh from Butch Parker.
* Parker makes his exit from the arena and the crowd begins to toss chunks of garbage towards the ring as Senester celebrates his win over Butch Parker. He holds up the HWA World Championship and begins to laugh while his music is heard blasting on the sound system *
Michael James: Although his constant sense of failure comes as no surprise to me, it seems that Butch’s lack of self dignity and shame is really starting to get the best of him. It’s gotten so bad that he has resorted to paying industry professionals large sums of money in exchange for positive reviews of his character. That’s the difference between Michael James and Butch Parker. I don’t care what people think about me. I don’t need anyone to wipe my ass or feed me some kind of half assed encouragement in order to be the best in the company. Even when it appeared that the odds were stacked against me I found a way to do the impossible and defend my championship. Unlike Butch and Styles, I can do the impossible. I can perform miracles because I was made to be a winner. Both of those assholes were bred to be losers and that’s exactly what they have become.
* The footage cuts to a shot of Mia and Jason discussing the result of the match while Senester continues to celebrate his victory at Blood, Sweat and Tears *
Michael James: I’m sure they would like to just wipe their slates clean and forget about me but I’m not going anywhere. They don’t want me around because they know as long as I’m here their chances of success are slim to ####ing none. Before I arrived in the HWA people like Bryan Deas, Freddie Styles and Butch Parker had nothing to worry about. I put an end to all of that. I showed up and the next thing you know I’m scoring victories over all three of them. I’m sure they didn’t appreciate that very much but at the same time I don’t give a shit what they think. Bryan thought he would be the one to send me packing and I put him in a wheelchair. Butch Parker had the same idea and now he’s recognized as a spineless bigot on a global scale. Freddie. Well, let’s just say Freddie got what he had coming to him. If you cheat, you lose. And since that’s exactly what Freddie Styles tried to do against me he has become the laughing stock of the entire company.
* A static feed interrupts the footage. The image cuts back to the studio where Michael James is found standing behind the control board operator. He begins giving Brian directions in Japanese while he points to a section of the board *
Brian Sorry, bro. I don’t know any Chinese so might want to get a translator.
* James lunges at Brian and wraps his hand around the back of his neck. The All Star Champion tightens his grip and squeezes the smaller man’s neck while screaming at him in Japanese. His neck looks like a stick compared to the size of Michael’s hand *
Brian: Alright, ALRIGHT! Just show me the one you want and I’ll play it!
Michael James: That one.
* He violently slams Brian’s forehead into the control board and the force of the blow causes the footage to run *
Michael James: Arigato, prick.
* The image cuts to a different HWA pay-per-view event. A text appears in the center of the frame that reads “Butch Parker vs. Michael James | Grudge Match | Road to Ruin”. James fast forwards past the entrances and allows the footage to run once they are two minutes into the match. Michael James and Butch Parker are trading blows in the center of the ring *
Michael James: So now I want to fast forward past the humiliating loss Butch suffered to Senester and take a look at what I like to refer to as the worst possible night of Parker’s career. Coming from where I was sitting I had no reason to hold anything back. I told Butch that pissing me off wasn’t a good idea and he didn’t want to listen. He wanted to show the world that he could prove me wrong and at the end of the day he couldn’t make it happen. Instead of granting him an ounce of mercy I made a complete mockery of his abilities. Instead of giving him the mutual respect that I grant most of my opponents I spit in his face and handed him the worst beating of his pathetic life. When I faced Butch Parker at Road to Ruin I was told to do my worst. I was told there were no limitations and I would have creative control concerning the mindless torture of a man with no future. Obviously, Parker didn’t have the first clue what it meant to be a part of a grudge match. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been blowing out hypocritical bullshit concerning his loss to the Personification of Perfection. On one side he says the only reason I beat him is because he was “outnumbered”. The way I see it Butch either needs to back to preschool and learn how to count or find a legitimate excuse to pull out of his ass.
* Michael James fast forwards the footage and stops when Wisdom Parker is seen making her way towards the ring. The audience explodes upon sight of the fan favorite *
Michael James: When Butch decided to bring Wisdom into the war we had in progress he signed a death warrant for the entire Parker family. Sure, he could have told the ##### to keep her ass back at the crack house where she belongs but Butch knew he couldn’t handle the match on his own. He had Wisdom on standby from the very beginning ready to strike on his given signal. This just happened to be one of those rare occasions when I was more than prepared for the predicable actions of a complete douche bag. I knew what they were going to do ahead of time so that gave me plenty of opportunity to set up a defense of my own. Is it my fault that Wisdom ended up on the fatal end of an Osaka Spike Kick when she decided to get in my way? Of course it isn’t and that’s why I refuse to accept any of Parker’s pointless excuses. If you #### something up the only person you can blame is yourself. Butch and Wisdom are nothing like that. They can’t accept their own mistakes so they try to pile shit on top of shit as way to compensate their lies. If Butch wanted things to be “fair” then he should have kept Wisdom on her leash. But since he let the dog out of her cage I just did what I do best and added my own brand of fuel to the fire. He wanted a war and I gave them both more than they could handle.
* James begins to laugh upon sight of the Yakuza guards stomping Butch Parker on the outside of the ring. James orders the men to move away and he nails the World Champion with a cheap kick to the head *
Michael James: I think that was the shot that busted him open.
* James drags Parker to his feet and the cameras catches a glimpse of blood pouring down his face. Butch shoves James away and whips him into the steel barricade *
Michael James: Truthfully, if I could go back to do it all over again there isn’t much that I would change about this match. Of course, adding the stipulation of the World Championship would have helped but that wasn’t the point I was trying to make at Road to Ruin. I wanted to earn my way to the top of the ladder by defeating the so called “best” they had to offer. I told everyone that I was unbeatable and I decided to use Butch Parker as a stepping stone. At one time in time I could have considered him to be a road block. I had made it past everyone that was put in front of me and he was the last one on the list. Now, Butch is nothing more to me than unfinished business. He has something that belongs to Michael James and I’m not going to stop torturing his family until he hands over my property. It’s as simple as that, Butch. Just give me the World Championship and all of your problems will be over. Think about it for a second. You will be able to stop living in constant fear and be able to get your life back on track. You can focus on taking care of your Filipino crack baby and moderating Wisdom’s daily heroin allowance. Without the hassle of the World Championship in your life things would be so much easier. Don’t get me wrong. I know you say this sport is your “passion” but I think we all know the truth by now. If Wisdom asked you to quit you would be gone before the end of the day. That’s how loyal you are to this business. You could be here one moment and gone the next. If you want my opinion I would much rather see you go as quickly as possible.
* James whips Parker to the ropes and one of the Yazuka guards jumps onto the apron and he lands a sharp kick across Butch’s back. A loud “SMACK” sound echoes throughout the arena. The All Star Champion begins to laugh upon sight of the attack *
Michael James: I wonder what the World Champ would say if I told him that the war between Parker and James was far from over. I wonder what he would do if I decided to take things a step further and put Wisdom’s life in danger. Would he try to play the hero or would he call the police and press charges? Who knows? Who cares? All I know is that Butch needs to get his head out of his ass because Wisdom is playing him for a damn fool. And yes, Butch, I know. I’m wrong and your wife is a ####ing saint, correct? We heard it the first hundred times you said it so do us all a favor and get some new material. There’s just something you need to realize. Wisdom is a #####. And do you know what #####s do, Butch? They rob, smoke, suck, #### and manipulate anyone they can to make ends meet. And I hate to be the one to break it to you buddy but your wife is no exception. She’s just as rotten as the rest of them and you’re the only one that refuses to accept the obvious truth. That’s why I call you an idiot, Butch. You’re predictable, you make terrible decisions and you refuse to accept the consequences of your mistakes. You have no right holding the World Championship and that’s another reason why I am destined to be the one to take it from you. I’m your kryptonite, asshole. I’m the nail in your coffin. I’m the voice inside your head that keeps telling you to pull the trigger.
* The footage shows a large number of the Yakuza guards pummeling Butch into the canvas. When Wisdom rushes into the ring she charges towards Michael James and he levels her with an Osaka Spike Kick to the face *
Michael James: The second I arrived in the HWA Butch Parker felt an instant disturbance in the force. He knew there was trouble in paradise and for the first time in his career there was nothing he could do about it. My name was bigger than his so called legendary status in a matter of weeks because I offered something they had never seen from Butch Parker. That my friends, is a thing I like to call realistic talent. I know Butch likes to call what he does an example of his “talent” but if that was the case he wouldn’t be on the ass end of a losing streak. It doesn’t take a lot of skill to run your mouth and lose like a b###h. If that was the case Stu E Price would be the World Champion right now. Luckily, we don’t live in a fantasy world where clueless assholes are rewarded for their lack of common sense. We’re living in my world where men of honor are acknowledged for their flawless accomplishments. I just happen to be one of those men because I have earned my place as the All Star Champion. In two months time I will have held the title for a solid year. More importantly, I will be the ONLY man on the roster that has yet to be defeated since I signed with the HWA. If anyone deserves recognition it’s Michael James. If anyone deserves an opportunity to be the next World Champion, it’s me. I end careers, I set records and I’m capable of doing things that no one else can do.
* Three of the Yakuza guards are seen yelling at Michael James as he holds Butch Parker in position for the Lethal Injection. James grows a smile on his face and looks directly at Wisdom as he executes the move *
Michael James: Anyone that knows anything about Butch Parker will tell you the same thing. He isn’t the person he once was. I’m sure if we could go back and time and recreate the Butch Parker of yesteryear we would be working with a completely different scenario. But that isn’t going to happen so Parker might as well get used to being known as a complete loser. I don’t have that problem because I haven’t lost a damn thing. Anytime Butch decides to open his mouth I’m always there to challenge his words and point out his lack of intelligence. That’s just how things were always meant to be. When you have a man like Butch that refuses to accept the concept of change there is only a matter of time until his ignorance becomes the source of his downfall. I don’t know about the rest of you but I fully encourage the dual retirement of Butch and Wisdom Parker. It doesn’t take a genius to tell they’re over the hill and are desperately searching for a way out of the game. Personally, I would like to know what’s taking them so long.
* James goes for a cover on Butch Parker and the referee is forced to make a count *
1.............
2...................
2 ½ ...................................
* The referee seems somewhat disgusted for being forced to make the count *
3!!!!!
* The bell begins to ring and Michael’s music is heard playing on the arena’s sound system. He is announced the winner of the match as the Yakuza guards help him make it back to his feet. A static feed interrupts the footage *
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11/12/2013
Black Eye Entertainment | Production Studios
Chicago, Illinois
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* The noise in the image gradually clears. We open in what appears to be the studio floor of Black Eye Entertainment in Chicago, Illinois. The frame moves towards a corner of the room where there is a large green screen set up behind a collection of production lights. There is a high definition camera set up on a tripod a few feet in front of the green screen. A few seconds later a large man with a thick blonde handlebar moustache enters the frame. He has a red and yellow bandana wrapped around his head and a sleeveless t-shirt with the “nWo” emblem printed on the back *
Voice: You know something, brothers....
* The man begins to speak with an aggressive tone similar to that of Hulk Hogan *
Voice: Usually on a day like this when Pukeamania is running wild I can rarely find a reason to complain. When you eat your prayers, say your vitamins and sleep with your steroids there isn’t a whole lot that life can throw at you.
* The man turns around and reveals his identity as the All Star Champion, Michael James. He is wearing a comical homemade costume made to look like the custom wardrobe of Terry Bollea. The fake moustache is only covering one half of his face while the cheap blonde wig puffs out from underneath the bandana. James, aka the “Hulkster”, takes a drag from his Cuban cigar and exhales the smoke towards the camera lens *
Michael James: But there was something that was brought to the Pukester’s attention recently that can no longer be ignored.
* One of the oversized biceps in his right arm makes a “pop” sound causing the mass of the bicep to deflate *
Michael James: Hold on a second.
* He pulls a small air pump from his pocket and injects a small hose into the flat bicep. James uses the pump to inflate the bicep before turning his attention back to the camera *
Michael James: Anyway, like the Pukester was saying, after I had a chance to talk to my good buddy Michael James about some of the things that have been going on in the HWA, I knew it was time for me to give this Parker clown a serious dose of reality. Hey Butch, why don’t you do everyone a favor and just give it a rest about your “connections in the industry” because we both know that you’re full of crap. I know you might not be the smartest dude in the world but you need to understand something right now. You’re a pathetic fanboy and that’s all you can ever hope to be. I talked to all three of those guys after watching your promo and none of them know anything about you. Let me give you some valuable advice, Butch. If you really want to be taken seriously you need to take a lesson from All Star Champ and learn how conduct yourself like a professional. Michael James is a guy that lives the life of a champion. He isn’t some fly by night egomaniac like you, Butch. So with that in mind I only have one question left to ask.
* Michael James grips the cigar between his teeth and he begins drooling at the mouth. He begins to slowly rip away the t-shirt with his hands *
Michael James: Whatcha gonna do when the Personification of Perfection and the Pukester run wild on YOUUUUUUUU?!!!!
* He tosses the torn shirt aside and begins breathing heavily while a few of the studio’s employees are heard laughing in the background. Another static feed interrupts the footage and causes the image to cut to white noise. Suddenly, a glitch in the video cuts the scene to the interior of the studio’s media center. It is a large room that has been designed to look similar to a movie theater. Michael James is found seated in the center of the empty room. He has the All Star Championship draped over his shoulder and a cold beer in his hand. James takes a slow sip from the beer and leans back in the seat *
Michael James: A few months ago I made a statement regarding a majority of people on the HWA roster. I said that when I looked around the locker room I saw nothing but undeserving shit. Since then, not much has changed. I’m still surrounded by mindless assholes that want to be rewarded for doing nothing. And to be completely honest I could really care less about the rest of the competition. I have beaten everyone there is to beat and I’m still the All Star Champion after all this time. People like Butch and Styles will say it’s because I have screwed everyone over to achieve my success. Luckily, my flawless record speaks for itself so it doesn’t really matter what either one of them think. Butch is a temporary World Champion and Freddie is nothing more than another flash in the pan. It’s like I said before. When I look at them all I can see is shit. I don’t care what they might have done before they met me because I have no desire to live in the past.
* The lights in the room slowly dim to black and a movie begins to roll on the gigantic screen. James grows a smile on his face as the opening footage for the 1980 horror splatter film Maniac appears on the screen. He pours some of the beer down his throat and props his feet up on the seat in front of him *
Michael James: When you have been hand selected to become the next flagship image of an entire industry you don’t have time to worry about what might have been. I don’t care about the names and faces of yesteryear because we aren’t living in the damn stone age. This is the era of ultra violence and I’m the only name that matters to anyone. I’m the king. I’m the undefeated champ. I’m the mother ####ing franchise of the HWA.
* James looks away from the camera and rests his arm on the leather strap of the All Star Championship. As brings the bottle to his mouth once again a static feed disrupts the interception of the footage *
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