Black Eye Entertainment
Press Release
12-05-2013
In reference to an article that was posted in the latest issue of Independence Sports Magazine, it appears that particular activities connected to a professional wrestling promotion have caught the attention of the active community. HWA (Hardcore Wrestling Alliance), is an independent professional wrestling company with an illustrious history dating all the way back to 1998. Following the latest edition of the company’s official broadcast titled “Havoc”; news began to spread regarding the sold out attendance and the instant following it has created amongst the community. According to a review that was posted in the entertainment section of the Philadelphia Eagle, what originally started as a small wrestling company has quickly become a cult following.
“In the nineties, ECW gave the fans of Philadelphia a hometown promotion they could be proud of because it was brutal and unique. They broke they rules of the industry and they didn’t care about the consequences. The HWA has the potential to do the exact same thing and earn the same smash-mouth type of reputation that Heyman created for his company. The fans want blood and that’s exactly what they’re getting.” – Bryan Schuman | The Philadelphia Eagle
“It’s kind of like being a part of an exclusive fight club. No rules. No censorship. None of the stereotypical bullshit you see everywhere else. When you go to an HWA event you aren’t going to be paying thirty or forty dollars to have some pointless infomercial shoved down your throat. They use their own brand of violence to sell the fans and that’s exactly what this industry has been waiting for.” – Frank Cross | Brass Knux Broadcasting
“#### WWE. #### TNA. #### NWA. HWA for life, b###hes.” – Matt Burns
The next scheduled event that is planned to take place will feature a selection of the company’s active roster. Due to the graphic amounts of physical violence that are scheduled to commence throughout the event representatives from the athletic commission have stated they will be keeping a close watch on the live broadcast. One particular member of the active roster had his own response to remarks made by the commission.
“It all comes down to the concept of ignorant people trying to provide censorship where it isn’t wanted. If the fans wanted to be shielded from our brand of entertainment they wouldn’t be sending us thousands of emails and letters begging for more. They would be sending hate mail and forming pathetic organizations to put an end to our success. Unlike the ####ing Nazis in the athletic commission, wrestling fans know how to have a good time. If it means we have to send a few people to the hospital along the way, so be it. If the people want to see depraved acts of mindless violence then it’s our responsibility to fill that void.” – Michael James | HWA All Star Champion
Directly following the most recent broadcast of HWA Havoc, an announcement was made on the official website regarding Michael’s opponent for the next pay-per-view titled “Fatality”. In what is scheduled to be a “first of three” series, Michael James is booked to face Butch Parker in the main event where the HWA World Championship will be on the line. When Michael James was informed of the card and contest stipulations he was quick to release a statement regarding his match against Parker.
“I told people a long time ago that Butch Parker is not a smart man. Is it my fault he made a terrible choice that is going to cost him the HWA World Championship? Of course it isn’t. If he wants to create an environment that’s going to help ensure his unavoidable failure then I really have no choice but to accept the situation. You want to know why? It’s because I have no problems being recognized as the next World Champion. I’m an innovator of violence while Butch is nothing more than a waste of ####ing time. I’m everything the HWA is destined to become while Butch is lucky to still have his name on the payroll. Until now, everything I have done to embarrass and humiliate Parker has been for my own amusement. At Fatality, it’s going to be the worst night of his life and he will have only one person to thank when everything is said and done. The NEW HWA World Heavyweight Champion, Michael James.” – Michael James | HWA All Star Champion
January 26, 2013
Blood, Sweat & Tears
Michael James vs. Judas Mercury
* We fade in to what appears to be footage taken from the HWA video archives. We open with a shot of Judas Mercury a few seconds after his successful title defense at Blood, Sweat and Tears. And just as he is ready to begin his routine celebration we hear “Dangan” blasting on the arena’s sound system. The cameras focus towards the aisle to reveal Michael James making his way to the ring. James hands a white envelope to the referee and after he takes a moment to review the document inside, he orders the timekeeper to ring the bell. While Judas appears dismayed and confused regarding the stipulation, James rolls into the ring and moves to his feet. He calls out to Judas and levels him with an Osaka Spike Kick to the face. Michael James drops to the mat and makes a cover on Judas. After receiving a three count over his opponent, James springs to his feet and he is handed the HWA All Star Championship by the referee. A random commentary track overpowers the main audio source of the footage *
Michael James: Watching the dead come back to life is not always a pleasant experience. So far, we’ve seen it happen on a number of occasions in the past year. First, it was the useless return of Wayne Heckler and Michael Kosh that still to this day has not turned out the way either of them might have might expected. They said they were going to “rule” the tag team division and show everyone why they were a force to be reckoned with. But at the end of the day neither one of those assholes are capable of doing anything worth a damn. Instead of doing all the things they claimed they were going to do Heckler and Kosh became the laughing stock of the company. They couldn’t match wits and fists with Stu E Price and now they’re doing anything they can to stay in the spotlight. Desperation seems to be a pattern with clueless people like Heckler and Kosh so I’m not surprised to see them groveling for attention. The next return we saw came from the same douche bag that I defeated to begin my rise to the top of the mountain. Yep, you guessed it. The cross eyed, cracked out, piece of unoriginal dog shit otherwise known as Judas Mercury.
* Judas lies on the mat after losing his championship to Michael James. The fans begin to toss garbage into the ring as James holds up the All Star Championship to a standing ovation of negativity. He approaches Judas and begins to curse him in Japanese *
Michael James: Before I was booked to face this asshole for the All Star Championship I didn’t know a ####ing thing about him. I was aware of his status as a current champion but aside from that he might as well been ####ing invisible. Sure, I could have made the proper move and put out my hand in respect before taking his championship but I didn’t want to do that. Mercury thought my position as a newbie would make me an easy win and I gave him the worst beating of his life. I took the only valuable thing he had left and I used it to fuel my career. People can say my victory was unfair but if that was true why was Judas unable to retain the championship when he was given the chance? Personally, I think the HWA is a better place without him. He’s just like Fallen. His entire career has been nothing but hype. And now that he’s been forced to deliver a quality presentation the son of a b###h is nowhere to be found. To be honest it doesn’t surprise me in the least. When it comes to assholes like Judas Mercury and Butch Parker they will always find a way to avoid personal responsibilities. We saw it before with Wisdom Parker and now we’re seeing it with Alice. The pig faced ##### was cut from her leash and now she’s running amuck with no sense of control. This is why I have never made the mistake of mixing business with stupidity. Unlike Parker and Mercury, I don’t break out with an allergic reaction at the first sign of possible success. I enjoy being the highest paid name on the roster and I’m going to do whatever I have to do to protect my flawless reputation.
* Michael James exits the ring and begins to taunt some of the fans by holding the All Star Championship inches away from their grasp. He curses them in Japanese as they shower him with insults and chunks of scattered garbage *
Michael James: When I beat Mercury to become the All Star Champion I caused a universal switch in the company. In less than a month’s time I’m going to make history again when I become the only man to hold an undefeated record over the course of a year. So far, no one has been able to put as much as a dent in my record as the best All Star Champion of all time. People like Butch and Wisdom didn’t want to believe that I was the change of pace the company had been waiting for. When I arrived in the HWA people could tell that I wasn’t going to waste any time. Instead of feeding to the meaningless egos of men like Butch Parker and Judas Mercury, I spit in their faces and did what was right for me. Soon enough I had landslide victories over both of those assholes and there was nothing that either one of them could do about it. I’ve beaten everyone there is to beat and now I’m taking what rightfully belongs to me. After I defeat Butch at Fatality in the first of three series I’m going to be the HWA World Heavyweight Champion. I know he will deny the truth like he always has in the past and that’s fine. I have already defeated Butch on multiple occasions where he has yet to score a single victory over the Personification of Perfection. Taking another one from him won’t be a problem for me. The only difference is this time it’s going to be for the gold. Parker’s worst nightmare has finally become the direct focus of his unfortunate future.
* The footage cuts to a segment from Blood, Sweat and Tears. Michael James is backstage being interviewed about his win over Judas Mercury. He grips a Cuban cigar between his teeth and exhales the smoke through his nostrils *
Michael James: I don’t know about the rest of you but I can’t ####ing wait to see the look on Parker’s face when he loses the World Championship. I imagine it will be similar to the same clueless expression he had when he lost to me at Road to Ruin. Whatever the case may be I’m going to have the time of my life at Fatality. I know it isn’t going to be sunshine and rainbows for the Parker family and that’s why I say it’s always best to leave the past in the past. The truth is Butch and Wisdom Parker refuse to do that because they have no future. They know after they lose possession of the World Championship they are going to have no choice but to begin considering their highly anticipated leave from the HWA. And just like Judas Mercury, the company is going to be a better place without them. We don’t need arrogant douche bags taking up space and that’s exactly what Butch has been doing since he stole the championship from Senester. Even with the highest ranking title falsely secured around his waist he still lacks the ability to perform on the same level as me. He couldn’t hold his own at Road to Ruin and this match at Fatality will be no different. Despite the fact that this match is only the first in our series of three, there’s a damn good chance Butch won’t be doing anything after his loss at Fatality. If this was Mortal Kombat I would be Shang Tsung and Butch would be Johnny Cage. I’m going to be the one delivering the death blow while Parker is going to be buried in his own shit. I’m good at what I do and I have no problems making things work in my favor.
* James begins yelling into the microphone while holding up the All Star Championship a few inches away from the camera *
Michael James: Butch on the other hand is a natural born imbecile. Nothing works in his favor because he is easily distracted by meaningless bullshit. That’s why he has been on a losing streak that he can’t kick. It started at Road to Ruin with his loss to me and has continued all the way to his most recent defeat by the hands of myself and Sheik Shakir. And don’t get me wrong. I’m sure things would have been easier for Butch if his partner had decided to stick around for the entire match but that’s what happens when you take people for granted. Freddie obviously had better things to do so he took off and left Butch to fend for himself against impossible odds. I know it wasn’t what people were expecting to see but that’s why I have always kept my mind free of expectations. I told Freddie Styles that Butch was a piece of shit and for once he took my advice and made the right choice. He turned his back on the World Champion and allowed Butch to do all the things he said he was capable of doing. Parker said he was the “man of steel”. He said he was invincible. He said he was the greatest wrestler in the history of the HWA. Unfortunately for Butch, he was also full of shit because it didn’t take us very long to pin his shoulders to the mat. If he truly was invincible he would have kept going and found a way to overpower the both of us. It’s like I said a long time ago. Butch Parker isn’t a super hero. He isn’t made of steel. He’s an idiot. And soon enough he’s going to be without a World Championship and that’s when Butch will truly experience rock bottom.
* The interview segment cuts to a slow motion shot of James blowing a cloud of smoke into the camera. A cross-fade cuts the scene to an exterior shot of a shopping mall. The cameras cut past the front doors and gradually move to the direct center of the large building. After moving past what appears to be a never ending line of frustrated parents and eager children, viewers gain sight of what appears to be a large chair surrounded by poorly designed Christmas decorations. The reindeer are made out of foam rubber while showing signs of aged burn damage. The tree is nothing more than an ordinary stick planted into a mound of dirt. The elves acting as security for the event appear to have a collection of prison tattoos covering their arms and facial features. As the crowd standing behind the green and red barricade begin to complain about the delayed arrival of Santa Claus, one of the elves step forward. He pulls a foghorn from his pocket and holds it up as high as he can. The elf grows a smile on his face and releases an echoing wail from the horn causing the crowd to silence their complaints *
Elf: Here ye. Here ye.
* He says with a pure tone of negativity *
Elf: If I can have your attention I would like everyone to know that Santa Claus has just arrived and should be with us shortly. If you would, please try to keep in mind that Mr. Claus has been under a lot of stress this year so he may not be as happy and jolly as you remember.
Mother: What is that supposed to mean?
Elf: It means you’re going to want to watch what you say around the big man. And if your child is allergic to smoke of any kind I suggest rescheduling their visit with Santa.
Mother: Are you kidding me?! We’ve been waiting in line for three hours!
Elf: I don’t know what to tell you, Lady. You can take it or leave it.
* The elf turns away from the irate crowd and approaches a few of his fellow co-workers. One of the elves leans down and presses the “play” button on what appears to be an old boom box. The junky old stereo begins to play a shoddy version of “Here Comes Santa Claus” as the crowd directs their attention to the left of the stage. A large man dressed in a dirty Santa Claus outfit casually approaches the chair. He slumps down in the chair and signals for the elves to cut the music. Santa brings a beer to his mouth and takes a swig. The lead elf opens the barricade and motions for the first child to approach Santa. A small girl around the age of six eagerly runs to the man dressed in the suit. He leans over and lifts her up before placing her on his knee. The child’s mother attempts to take a photograph and Santa signals towards the lead elf *
Elf: No flash photography!
* The jerks the camera away from the woman. He tosses it to the floor and stomps it causing the lens to smash underneath his foot *
Santa Claus: Now, what exactly would you like for Christmas?
* Before she can reply the girl releases a frightened scream *
Santa Claus: Ok, that’s enough. Get it off of me.
* One of the elves lifts the child up and they send her away to her mother. The next child that approaches Santa is an eight-year-old boy wearing a Transformers t-shirt. He is lifted up and placed on Santa’s lap *
Santa Claus: Hello, there. And what is your name?
Boy: Jayden.
Santa Claus: Well, isn’t that a creative name. Your parents must be famous artists.
* Claus looks away from the child and rolls his eyes while trying not to throw up in his own mouth *
Santa Claus: And what do you want for Christmas?
Boy: I want a Playstation four gaming console with the see through dual shock controllers—
* Santa signals at the lead elf and a few seconds later they remove the spoiled child from his lap *
Boy: Wait a second, I wasn’t done..
Santa Claus: Well, guess what, Jeffrey? You are now. I sure hope you like getting shit in your stockings. NEXT!
* Santa reaches inside of his costume and removes a Cuban cigar. He places it between his teeth and removes a matchbox from his pocket. He ignites a match and uses it to light the cigar while the next child approaches him. The lead elf places a four-year-old boy on his lap and Santa exhales a cloud of smoke into the child’s face. The boy begins to cough hysterically as Santa shows no concern for his own actions *
Santa Claus: And what the #### are you expecting to see on Christmas morning? Thanks to a financial decline in the North Pole you only get one gift from Santa this year so you better make it good.
Child: Okay. I want the I-Pad Air and I-Phone 5 with a new case and a portable—
Santa Claus: Macintosh?! Really?!
Child: Uh-huh. And don’t forget if you bring me the I-Pad Air I need a remote charger to go with it--
Santa Claus: I’m not bringing you a damn thing you little ####er. Get this little cross eyed bastard away from me. NOW!
* The lead elf removes the boy as he begins crying from result of Santa’s behavior. The elf hands the boy back to his mother and she cradles him in her arms. When the elf calls for the next child, the boy’s angered father moves forward and approaches Santa *
Father: Who the hell do you think you are?! My kid has been waiting all year to talk to Santa and you just ruined it for him.
Santa Claus: Listen, prick. It’s not my fault your kid is a ####ing imbecile.
Father: Excuse me?!
* Santa releases a sigh of frustration as he moves from the chair to face the man *
Santa Claus: You heard me, asshole. If anyone ruined anything for that ugly little shit it sure as hell wasn’t me. I’m Santa Claus you oblivious son of a b###h. I’m the patron saint of children and they ####ing love me.
Father: What did you just call my son?!
Santa Claus: You don’t hear so well, do you? I said your son is an arrogant little shit who should be thanking his stars that he isn’t living on the streets. Its kids like him that give American children a bad name. Spoiled ####ing brats that expect to have the world handed to them on a silver platter—
* The father balls his hand into a fist and swings at Santa with a right hook. Claus dodges the attack and delivers a quick chop to the center of his throat. The father’s face begins to turn red due to his path of oxygen being block from result of the blow. He drops to one knee while struggling for air. Three of the elves attack on Santa’s command. They each grab one of the large plastic candy canes being used as decoration around the large chair. They begin a three on one assault on the father with the canes while his face begins to turn from a dark red to a light blue. Santa reaches inside of his coat and removes a stun gun. He leans down and jabs the stun gun into the man’s ribcage and sends an electric current through his body. The boy’s father begins to twitch like crazy as he starts to drool from result of the electrical shock. The elves approach the man and drag him away as Santa Claus drops the stun gun. He turns his back to the crowd and begins to laugh out loud. He removes the cap and wig covering his head and tosses it to the floor. He tears away the red and white coat revealing a leather jacket underneath. Santa turns around and rips away the white beard attached to his face and reveals his identity as Michael James *
Michael James: Sorry boys and girls but you won’t be seeing real Santa Claus today and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. He doesn’t care about any of you. If he did he would have taken time away from his usual routine of molesting unsuspecting boy scouts to make it here.
* A few of the mothers in the crowd appear appalled at the comments made by James. They cover their children’s ears and quickly move away from the line. James unzips his jacket and reveals the All Star Championship strapped around his waist *
Michael James: The truth is Santa Claus is just like Butch Parker. He’s a ####ing coward. The only difference between the two is Butch Parker is a complete idiot and Claus is a raving lunatic.
* James takes a drag from his cigar and exhales the smoke through his nostrils. He slumps down in the chair and casually moves the cigar away from his mouth *
Michael James: It’s like I said a long time ago. I don’t have time to sweat the little things. If I did I would be just like Claus and have nothing to show for my efforts. But as you can see I don’t have that problem because I’m a step above the rest. While Claus has been running around the HWA with his head lodged inside of his ass I have been taking out the competition for the purpose of my own twisted amusement. While Claus has been sitting on his fat ass feeding his face and writing letters to little boys I have been defending the All Star Championship with an iron fist. Personally, I think Claus is another person the company could easily do without. Sure, when we need some sort of comedy relief he’s always there to fit the bill. Other than making a complete ass out of himself what purpose does he hold to the company? I can’t really think of anything.
* He ashes his cigar on the floor signals for the elves to bring the boy’s father in front of him. They lay his body down in front of James and he uses the man’s chest to prop up his feet *
Michael James: And despite the fact that Claus has his sights set on the All Star Championship, Senester isn’t going to hand over my title to a ####ing rapist. Freddie Styles spent the last few months earning the same opportunity that Claus is working for and everyone saw what happened there. Just in case you missed it, he lost. I retained my championship and Freddie had to shuffle his sorry ass to the back of the line. Santa isn’t half the man that Styles has become so you know what that says about his desire to be a champion? It’s a ####ing joke. Just like his entire existence has been since he signed with the HWA. I don’t want to work with a ####ing child molester or be asked to consider him as my equal. All I want to do is put a bullet in his brain so we won’t have to listen to him anymore. #### Santa Claus and #### everything he stands for. From where I’m sitting he still has a long way to go before he can think about competing for my title. Tell me something, Claus. When is the last time you successfully pinned the World Champion? When is the last time you took a victory from Freddie Styles? Allow me to answer those questions for you, asshole. Never and never. I can do these things with ease because I’m better than you and everyone else. If you don’t believe me now why don’t you check back in a few weeks when I’m the HWA World Champion. What’s that, fat boy? You know I’m right? Maybe you’re not as stupid as you look. But then again, maybe you are.
* The cigar begins to glow red as the All Star Champion inhales another drag into his lungs *
Michael James: I have a request for Mr. Claus. This Christmas I would love nothing more than to see you jam a shotgun inside of your mouth and pull the ####ing trigger. I know it might sound harsh to you kids but there’s something you need to understand about Santa. He’s a terrible person and he doesn’t deserve to live. He’s just like John Wayne Gacy. He thinks if he puts on some ridiculous costume it’s going to mask his true identity from everyone else. Well, guess what, Claus? You aren’t fooling anyone. You might have been able to manipulate an army of innocent children into believing your bullshit. But you know something? I don’t have the mind of an adolescent. I don’t need to mask who I am to be accepted by others. I speak, people listen and they have no problems recognizing my place as a natural born leader. When you speak all people can do is roll their eyes and hope you’re going to eventually slip up and violate the conditions of your parole. It’s like I told Michael Kosh a long time ago. Keep my name out of your mouth and things will be much easier for you. You saw what happened to Freddie Styles so what the #### makes you think you’re going to be any different? You’re a ####ing clown and clowns don’t deserve to be champions. You’re here for our amusement and so far I’m not impressed.
* James reaches inside of his jacket and removes a sterling silver flask. He removes the cap on the top and pours a shot of Sake down his throat. He seals the top and places the flask back into his jacket *
Michael James: Unlike Santa Claus I didn’t have to make an appearance on To Catch a Predator to become the center of attention. When I defeated Judas Mercury to become the All Star Champion at Blood, Sweat and Tears; I gave the HWA an example of my capabilities. I took the half assed predictions of douche bags like Butch Parker and I jammed it down their ####ing throats. No one expected me to succeed and that’s why I was so determined to prove them wrong. For the first time in their lives they were witness to a man capable of doing the impossible and it scared the shit out of them. Unlike the mid card slackers like Butch, Judas, Deas and Styles; I was able to deliver the goods they couldn’t supply. I could accomplish things they couldn’t do. Once they announced their plans to rid me from the company that’s when the fun truly began. I started ending careers while placing undeserving assholes on the shelf. I put Bryan Deas in a wheelchair and handed Butch Parker the most humiliating loss of his entire career. I exposed Wisdom Parker’s acts of constant bigotry to the world and brought shame to her entire family. People know that I am not a man to be ####ed with. When Fallen wanted to go to war all I had to do was speak a few words and now he’s ancient history. When Freddie Styles refused to shut his mouth about the All Star Championship I gave him two chances to make lightning strike and he couldn’t get the job done. To be perfectly honest I’m sick of granting favors to losers that are below me. I’m tired of listening to a bunch of no talent imbeciles b###h and whine about the fatal consequences of their own mistakes.
* James puts down his feet and prepares to stand up. He inches away from the chair and ashes his cigar on the man’s face as he lies on the ground still feeling the effects of the stun gun. The All Star Champion stands a few inches behind the barricade and exhales a cloud of smoke towards the audience *
Michael James: I can't relate to people that make mistakes because I actually think my actions through. Butch will say he’s a passionate person to try and excuse his mindless decisions and it doesn’t take a genius to see through his bullshit. The first time he lost to me it was at Road to Ruin. Since that magical event he has lost to me numerous times because I always find a way to bring the worst out of Butch Parker. When I allowed Shakir to score a pin fall over Butch I was sending a message to the entire company. At this point in his career it doesn’t take a lot of effort to defeat the current World Champion. I know Wisdom will say that her husband is just biding his time but if that was true he wouldn’t be the only champion in the company with an indestructible losing streak. But it’s like I said before. Butch isn’t a super hero. He’s a super idiot.
* James places his trademark sunglasses onto his face and takes another swig from the flask. He pulls it away from his mouth and faces the audience *
Michael James: I always heard in order to understand the truth you have to lose something valuable. Unlike Butch I have no problems facing my own decisions because I have always been a man of constant truth and moral values. Hopefully, this loss at Fatality will serve as the brutal wake up call that Parker has been waiting for.
* James turns away from the crowd and makes his exit through a cloud of cigar smoke. The elves close the barricade while members from the audience begin demanding refunds for the tickets they purchased ahead of time. A static feed cuts out the image of the footage *
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