“Christ, Maniac, do you ever change the record, fella?”
Matt simulates a yapping sound with one of his hands.
“Honest to God, it’s the same shite just a different day with you, isn’t it, mate? Speaking of the two of us like we’re some kind of messed up kindred spirits, like we have something common, a mutual adversary? Pfft!”
Matt makes a disparaging, deriding sound whilst making a dismissive gesture with his hands towards the camera.
“You think that just because I want this Asylum match with you, we’re somehow united in a battle with the Parkers? Trust me, the only thing that’s eating me up inside is the sound of your cringey f**king voice, lad! Honestly, that tone, the way your words come out…”
Matt makes a dry heave noise.
“…it gives me the boak, so it does and if you don’t know what that means, it means I feel like puking every time I hear you speak, Maniac….this isn’t the Attitude Era of WWE, lad…”
Matt can’t help but laugh as he continues his walk.
“Wisdom and Butch aren’t Stephanie McMahon and Triple H out here committing dastardly deeds to screw anyone over. They’re not out to get one over on you or me… you don’t think they’ve got more important things to worry about? I suggest you just worry about what’s coming your way lad, because make no mistake there’s a shitstorm of Irish-fuelled vengeance coming your way, amico! We may not have a match this week at Havoc but I’ll let you in a little secret… the room has stopped spinning, the nausea is away and these staples are due to come out next week….and don’t worry about my friends, Maniac. Unlike you, they have my back. Sean, Jeremy, Michelle, Sarah, were like family….who do you have? That Mandy lass who’s half your age that you claim you love but you’ve only known her for a month? Some f**king camera guy who follows you round like a puppy? And what do I have? Just the respect and camaraderie of my peers who have climbed the ladder with me, shouting nothing but words of encouragement, the blessing of having three great mentors who want nothing more than to see me succeed and actually care about my well-being? I know which side of the bed I’d rather sleep on, so I do!”
Matt stops walking for a moment, as if considering his next words. He looks away, chewing on his bottom lip before turning his head back to face the camera.
“You know what, lad? I’m actually looking forward to Havoc. I might not have a match, but my friends do. I can’t wait to see what Michelle does against that new firecracker, Alexis. I can’t wait to see Jeremy continue his meteoric rise against Draconis and I can’t wait to see Sean make his Havoc re-debut against Stu-E! And you never know what else might be round the corner, fella. So keep that camera crew close that you like to have around you, because you never know when something newsworthy is gonna come out of the blue.”
Matt winks at the camera and walks out of shot as the scene fades to black.
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