(Butch): Thank you for coming, everyone. Before I field any questions, you’ll notice my wife, Wisdom is not present today. I will not be fielding any questions relating to her and what took place in Nashville. She will address any and all matters in relation to this incident in her own time. Now, who’s first?
(Reporter 1): Butch, you’ve been very vocal in the past about your feelings towards the media after what happened with you several weeks ago, what’s changed?
Butch can’t help but roll his eyes.
(Butch): Look, my feelings towards the media haven’t changed. I’d rather not be doing this but speaking to you all in this format is better than you turning up invited with hidden mics trying to get exclusive scoops for whatever website, magazine or podcast you’re part of. Havoc was very eventful so I shouldn’t punish the wrestling fans out there who want to know what’s going just because a lot of you guys act like complete pricks. Is that a good enough answer?
(Reporter 1): And how are you feeling?
(Butch): I’m fantastic, thank you. Havoc itself was fantastic, I had very satisfying sex with my wife seven times yesterday. So yes, I’m feeling fantastic, thanks for asking.
The reporter looks very embarrassed and a trickle of laughter ripples throughout the room. Butch smirks.
(Reporter 1): I meant in relation to your-
(Butch): I know what you meant, son, it’s called a joke. My health is fine. If you guys really want to know how I’m doing, my doctor has told me I’m suffering from anxiety. Nothing to do with me taking on too much, but the working environment I’m in now is obviously very different than when I was a regular member of the roster.
(Reporter 1): And have you been given any medication or anything like that?
Butch’s smirk disappears.
(Butch): That’s none of your business. I’m happy to be open and honest with you guys about most things as long as nothing gets twisted and people can be straight shooters. But whether I’m on medication or not or whether I’m seeing a therapist or not is no one’s business but my own. Next question.
(Reporter 2): Mr Parker, you said it yourself, Havoc was very eventful. So many things took place culminating in the announcement that you will be having your first pay-per-view in August. Is there anything that stuck in your mind the most?
(Butch): Wow, a decent question, thank you. And yes, I’m very excited about Art of War. We want an excellent build to this event and have it be the pinnacle of the summer in wrestling. As for Havoc, it was refreshing, for the most part, to have all the focus on the product and the matches. Max and Marcus had a very good dark match on Before the Bell, they were very impressive for their first televised match. Both lads have worked very hard and I’m pleased with the showing they put on. Fallen and Kain had an absolute belter of a cage match so I’m glad I signed off on that. Alexis and Sarah put on a clinic, Stu-E and Jeremy were very impressive in their match, Maniac and Draconis gave us a very hard-hitting main event and Sean and Legion had a great big man-little man match. So, yes, from a wrestling standpoint, yesterday was probably our best event since we returned to mainstream television.
(Reporter 2): You were very emotional after Sean’s victory over Legion, Butch. How does it feel to see him progress so much?
Butch smiles deeply.
(Butch): I’m very proud of Sean. Everyone knows his story and the closure he wanted from his match with Legion. His uncle seemed to be genuinely remorseful about what happened all those years ago and I’m sure Sean will be appreciative of that. As an uncle, like I said I couldn’t be prouder of Sean. As his boss, I’m blessed to have an athlete of his calibre on the roster. You guys won’t have seen the way he performed with Matt, Jeremy and the other academy lads who’ve gone on to better things. He’s a different animal to anything I’ve seen and from a technical standpoint, he’s lightyears ahead of where I was at his age. He is destined for greatness.
(Reporter 3): Another one of your shining stars is Jeremy Branson. He really set the wrestling world on fire with his victory against Will Ospreay but he’s struggled for consistency since then. Are you worried the pressure may be getting to him?
(Butch): Not at all. Jeremy, whilst not as experienced as Sean and Matt, is very talented and he’s a tenacious young man to boot. He’ll be gutted he hasn’t been able to build on that big victory but let’s not kid ourselves here. Will Ospreay is one of the greatest professional wrestlers in the world right now. He’s due to face Kenny Omega in a few weeks and his match with him at Wrestle Kingdom is still the favourite for match of the year. You don’t beat a man like that by sheer dumb luck. As his boss, I’ll be there if he needs me but Sensei Matthew has a connection with his students in the Academy. He understands every single one of them and knows how to get the best out of them. And I’m not saying I know who’s gonna win but when this triple threat comes around between him, Sean and Matt, you’ll see exactly what Jeremy is capable of.
(Reporter 3): You mentioned Red Dragon there, obviously there was the blockbuster announcement along with the surprise appearance from WWE star Shinsuke Nakamura. How did you pull that off?
Butch grins and winks.
(Butch): Like I said before, Hunter and I have been close for years. He has an appreciation and respect for this business and for tradition. Matthew Kiriyama has not had the glittering, championship-laden career he deserved. Triple H acknowledges that and the friendship he had in his youth with Shinsuke Nakamura. So he was more than happy to accommodate Shinsuke for this match with Matthew.
(Reporter 4): And, of course, that is not the only match Red Dragon will be having. As we all witnessed, he will also be facing off against Hans von Richtoven and yourself as well as either Sean Parker, Jeremy Branson or Matt Miller. Do we have a timeline for these matches and how does it feel to know you’re getting back in the ring.
(Butch): The only timeline we have at the moment is that at Art of War, Shinsuke Nakamura will face Red Dragon. The rest of the matches will take place in the weeks that follow so we’re looking at August, September at the earliest. As for myself, I’m very excited. Obviously I’ve been keeping active as best I can but I can assure you though, the match that Matthew is not going to be some geriatric shitshow with two guys past their best taking away spots from other worthy wrestlers. If none of you have seen what Matthew is capable of in the ring, look at Sean and Matt, watch how they move in the ring. Their meticulousness, their precision. That’s all Matthew. He is going to give every single person, Shinsuke, Hans, myself and either Sean, Matt or Jeremy, the fight of our lives and I know every one of us cannot wait for it.
(Reporter 5): Another surprise we seen at Havoc, Butch, was the return of another HWA OG, Hell’s Guardian. What was your thought process behind bringing him back?
(Butch): Hell’s and I have a lot of history, pre-HWA. He won his first World Championship from me in the EFWA when I was only eighteen after my leg broke. He relinquished the title because he didn’t want to win it by default and he came and seen me in the hospital afterwards. So I have a lot of love and respect for the big man. On why I brought him back, well let me tell you a story. There’s a comedy television show back home in Scotland that is practically part of our popular culture called Still Game. It’s essentially about two old guys and their group of friends trying to live their best lives in a really shitty neighbourhood in Glasgow. Put it this way, here in the States, there’s a Friends quote for every occasion, right? Well in Scotland, there’s a Still Game quote for every occasion. Now, there’s one particular episode where the local neds, that’s the Scottish colloquialism for the little shits that like to shoplift, cause hassle and be a general pain in the ass in your schools and communities, well they’re terrorising all the old people for shits and giggles. So Jack and Victor, the two main characters, decide to phone their old pal who moved away years ago, this big brick shithouse of a bastard, to come down and sort the wee tadgers out. After that, there was no trouble.
Butch holds his hands as if insinuating the connection between the two situations and he smirks, causing more laughter in the room.
(Butch): Well, let’s just say Hell’s was our big Innes. He’s here to make sure all these wee tadgers don’t get out of line. Now, as it turns out, the CBS Executives were very happy with the show yesterday, from numbers to content, everything. Now, my original vision for HWA was to bring a sense of honour and dignity that we prided ourselves on before all this glitz and glamour came back and obviously it hasn’t exactly planned out that way since January. But, the CBS Execs thoroughly enjoyed the content they seen especially with the addition of Hell’s as our chaos controller, as long as we don’t see repeats of what happened in Chicago, I will be loosening the shackles a little as you’ll have seen from the brutal, bloody but extraordinary match Maniac and Draconis put on for us.
(Reporter 5): What do you mean by that?
(Butch): What I mean is…at Art of War, Maniac and Matt Miller will face off….in an Aslyum Match!
The entire room comes to life with questions, indecipherable noise but it seems like the news goes down well.
(Reporter 2): Butch, this is huge! Are you confident in Matt’s ability to be able to survive with Maniac in such a barbaric environment?
(Butch): I think Matt has more than shown over the last few weeks he is more than cabable of handling himself. He has been a shining light for us for eight years. I’ve spoken before about the opportunities he had to not only make a helluva lot more money but to wrestle and compete on a far grander stage than the one we had for eight years. If Matt had left HWA when the shit hit the fan, I guarantee you he would be a multi-time World Champion by now. So for this match, it’s not for Maniac, it’s for Matt. He deserves this match and he deserves some catharsis.
(Reporter 4): And will it be the main event, Butch?
(Butch): I haven’t decided yet but if it’s not, I wouldn’t want to be the ones to go on after them, that’s for sure. Right, I have time for one more question.
(Reporter 6): Butch, we finally seen the first on-screen appearance from Erica Martinez last night. She’s been on the sidelines with visa troubles we understand and it seems she’s not very appreciative of the apparent lack of care and respect she’s received from both management and her peers, what’s your thoughts?
(Butch): Look, Erica has been very frustrated with her visa troubles. As you recall she was meant to be debut at the Reunion show and then at the first Havoc but circumstances beyond anyone’s control got in the way. As far as a fair crack of the whip is concerned, I can guarantee Erica has been given every opportunity to learn and grow the same as every other student. I was very excited when her legal troubles were put to rest and she could finally get competing but I wholeheartedly deny any accusation she hasn’t been given equal opportunities to learn. As far as being accepted by her peers goes, as harsh as it may sound, that’s not my concern. The Academy isn’t a daycare camp, it is a shark tank designed to see who has what it takes to become a professional wrestler. I know for a fact, Jeremy, Matt, Sean, Michelle and Sarah are all very close and Erica, to my knowledge was a big part of that too. Even Alexis has changed her tune and is on good terms with everyone. Whilst I encourage and admire a close-knit group, it’s not the be-all and end-all. We’re in a very cutthroat business and Erica doesn’t even have to train with Sensei Matthew once she’s a fully-fledged member of the roster. The rest continue to do so because they value what he has to teach. But if Erica feels she’ll learn more from Maniac, that’s her choice. Was I unhappy to see her attack Sarah, Alexis and Michelle after the match? No. This is wrestling, heel and face turns happen all the time. Friends turn on each other, people have changes of heart. But I was disappointed in the manner she chose to do what she did. Michelle, Sarah and Alexis are big girls and I look forward to seeing them all resolve whatever differences they have with Erica in a professional manner, whether that’s inside the ring or out. Now if you’ll excuse me, folks, I’ve got a million and one things to be getting on with, so if you follow Terry here, he’ll escort you all off the premises. Thank you.
Butch stands up from the desk, ignoring the few last-ditch attempts at further questions from the gathered reporters as the scene fades to black.
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