Speaking of shows…she tried to push her personal life to the side to focus professionally, but those worlds were so interwoven she was finding it difficult. Since coming back home from being at Sean’s she was slowly getting back into her own routine, but it was a challenge. Even more so after what happened at Havoc which had weighed on her. Walking in and seeing Erica and Sean lip locked. He said he didn’t know it was her, and he had reacted in that manner, but it bothered her that he seemed to enjoy it. It caused significant doubt within her. How could he enjoy being with her, when women like Erica were offering themselves to him like Halloween Candy? Every other piece of his fan mail was a marriage proposal from some random woman, and a lot of them sent rather inappropriate photos. He was very transparent about it, and laughed it off, but some of them were very beautiful women and she was just……plain Michelle.
Why did sex seem to rule everything? Coming to Los Angeles a few years ago was a big culture shock. Every street had billboards with risqué images of men and women, strip clubs which she had only heard of where there in living color advertising in broad daylight with no shame. She almost got into an accident once, driving down the street and seeing one of those “sex shops.” It actually had mannequins wearing lacy undergarments, handcuffs, whips, and gallon size bottles of lube all in the window. Little kids could see this form Christ sakes. Sex, sex, and more sex. But that’s not what Sean wanted from her…he said as much, he wouldn’t lie to her. Yet, her father’s words continued to hang high, hard, and heavy in her about Sean just wanting to “lie with her.” Her father wouldn’t lie to her either, it was all so very confusing.
Focusing on her career lately was almost impossible for her, but Art of War was approaching and she had sinned and acted in anger at Havoc rushing in to talk with Butch and Wisdom, nearly demanding to face Erica at the ppv. They agreed without much fuss, probably because they pitied her from what happened with Mr. Angel. Since then she’s felt guilty for asking as she did, and had been praying for forgiveness for days. She had promised fans another video diary and now was just as good a time as any to deliver. Her yoga sessions hadn’t helped so maybe letting things get off her chest a little might. She took a deep breath as she sat her desk, opened her laptop and logged into the HWA portal to record. As she goes live, we see a better Michelle than last time. She seems in reasonably good spirits, and has a genuine, warm smile on her face as she waves at the camera.
(Michelle): Hello there HWA Fanverse…I’m sorry it’s taken me so long, but I’ve been a bit out of sorts and after last time I really wanted to get myself together before I did one of these again. To be honest, I’m not sure I’m fully all together but I think I’m in a little better place than last time. You guys have been so amazing. Thank you for all your support, I cherish all of your fan mail and to hear so many of your own stories and how you overcame similar adversities gives me courage. You’re my heroes.
Michelle sighs as she runs her hands through her hair.
(Michelle): Ummm, I want to be upfront with you guys and tell you everything that happened at Havoc, some of it you saw, but some of it you didn’t. When Sean was getting care with the trainers and the doctors and I walked in and saw him and Erica kissing I was hurt. I felt betrayed. She looked at me so proudly, like she had stolen something from me that I couldn’t get it back. My heart sank, but when Sean opened his eyes and saw her, when he fell off that examination table scrambling away from her in shock, my heart lifted and in that instance I knew he had no part in it, and I did believe him. But you Erica…
Michelle looks at the camera still a look of hurt on her face.
(Michelle): You fibbed! God help me, but I acted in haste and attacked you. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did. You made me so mad, and I was so upset I went to Butch and Wisdom and asked them for that match at Art of War. Alexis, I’m so sorry. You challenged her first and it wasnt my intention to disrupt your plans, but I let my emotions get the better of me. I know you seemed okay with it, but please, say the word and I’m happy to back out of it. I know Butch and Wisdom would understand. I’ll gladly join Sarah in the tag match if that’s what you want. I really am so sorry.
Michelle exhales deeply.
(Michelle): Whew! I’ve felt so guilty about that all week, it feels good to get it out. I don’t understand what has happened to you Erica. I don’t understand why you keep telling these stories. You told a story at Havoc trying to make me think you and Sean were into whatever you were doing, and you told one to those poor kids at your PR assignment. How could you make such horrible things up? What did I ever do to you? What did Sean ever do to you where you keep attacking him, and attacking me verbally? It’s not nice, it’s not fair, and everything you are saying is just not true. I most certainly did say my blessing at your mother’s house, I would never be so rude as to not do so before eating. Sean is not and has never been a bully, and everyone knows there is nothing going on with you and Hans. What is wrong with you? Where do you come up with these things? How could you think I just stood there and let Mr. Angel do what he did to me? I did fight back, but I was also terrified at….
Michelle stops, her eyes dropping down and we see tears form in her eyes that she sniffles and fights back.
(Michelle): I’m sorry guys, but it still bothers me. I’m won’t pretend that it doesn’t. They hired him back and I don’t know how to feel about that. I’m sorry, I know I’m jumping topics but…I want everyone to know that Butch and Wisdom came right to me after Havoc…they did. They asked me how I felt if they were to bring him back. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t think they wanted to, but I understand business. Butch said they would support whatever decision I made…I want that to be clear, and I do believe they wouldn’t have reinstated him if I said no, but I put my personal feelings aside because I didn’t want our company damaged. I didn’t want it dragged through some messy legal stuff just because Steven Angel was trying to stir the pot and get his way. If it was so important to him, then let him. If he’s thrilled by something so small and petty as stirring up trouble then let him back in. I’ve forgiven him for what he did, I said it is in God’s hands and I believe it is, so I said that I was okay with it and I truly am, but I want nothing to do with Mr. Angel. I don’t want to be near him, and I don’t want him around me. It makes me uncomfortable and Butch and Wisdom understands that and have promised to do their best to see that, that doesn’t happen.
She grabs a sip of water and continues.
(Michelle): So, for those out there making unkind comments to Butch and Wisdom, please don’t. They really did do everything they could to support me, but they’ve given so much and it was my turn to support them so I did. I just don’t want anyone blaming them for their decision. But, as I was saying to you Erica, I told you I wasn’t going to give up on you and I won’t. I may need to wrestle it out of you but I will if I have to like that scary Exorcist movie Sean showed me. If this match goes forward, at Art of War I’m going to make you tell the truth. I’m going to make you see the error of your ways. Maybe then I can have my friend back. Get the old Erica back we all loved, that would be nice.
You’ve become so full of hate. You’re so vulgar these days, the drinking and the smoking, and being a loose woman. I know you’re hurting inside. If only you let God in. Let his light shine through you and cast away all these negative things, I just know you’ll feel better. You talk about embarrassing me…that’s something a bully says. You said I don’t belong here and…
Michelle pauses, as if really thinking about it. She continues is a weaker, unsure tone…
(Michelle): …I don’t know if I do. This city, the way some people are, all the things we are exposed to, it’s becoming a bit much. It’s not like this back home. There are lovely family owned stores on the corners, not icky cannabis shops. There are beautiful churches and parks, not these adult clubs. People are friendly and nice and there are so many homeless people here and no one seems to be helping them. There’s McDonalds and fast food everywhere, and we have lovely farmers markets with fresh, healthy fruits and vegetables from hard working people. I remember….
Suddenly her cell rings and Michelle lifts it up to the screen and it shows “Mom & Dad” as she smiles and puts it on speaker phone, knowingly this time.
(Michelle): Hello?
(Michelle’s Mom): Afternoon sweetie, how are you doing today?
(Michelle): I’m fine mom, what are you guys up to.
(Michelle’s Mom): Oh it’s just terrible, all those people in Maui with that fire. We’re trying to put together some things to support the churches over there. It was so close to one of them, so very close, but thank God the Fire department got it under control before it reached them.
(Michelle): That’s wonderful news, please let me know what I can do. I’ll be happy to put some money in the pool.
(Michelle’s Mom): Speaking of wonderful news. You remember Elizabeth Cantwell? Well she just hired Diana Sabau, you don’t really know her…she goes to that big church in Temple Square, but you probably saw her once or twice when we were there…any who…Elizabeth just hired Diana as the new Athletics Director over at the university and Diana’s looking for an Assistant Director. Everyone’s told her you would be perfect for the role and she’s going to give you a call. Isn’t that great?
Michelle is stunned, she almost doesn’t know what to say.
(Michelle): That’s very nice of her, but mom…I…
(Michelle’s Mom): Now we’ve talked about this sweetie, you’ll be home in a few weeks and its time to think about your future. This is a wonderful opportunity for you.
(Michelle): Mom, I told you guys I would think about it. I’m coming home, yes, but staying…I…I don’t know.
(Michelle’s Mom): You said yourself you were uncomfortable there, that big city, all those people and the crime and the poverty, and after everything that’s happened you know this is where you belong, where you need to be…with your family. You went and spread your wings with that wrestling, but there’s nothing keeping you there.
“There’s nothing keeping you there.” An image of Sean flashed in her mind. Was he keeping her there? Was what they were building strong enough to keep her there? Even so, was it enough overall if that’s all there was, was him?
(Michelle’s Mom): When she calls, just be yourself. She’s going to love you, we just know it, and don’t worry about where to stay…you know your old room hasn’t been touched. Even if you get your own place, you can stay here at home until you get settled in at the University. I hear they have lovely apartments for staff on campus, or your father can talk with Billy Mayerson about those apartments a few blocks away. You know Mr. Mayerson, you kids and his boys use to play at the church picnics…well, he manages that whole block of apartments and would be sure to have something nice for you.
(Michelle): Mom, I don’t know…I just…
(Michelle’s Mom): It’s him isn’t it…that boy? Michelle, I don’t know what kind of nonsense he’s been trying to put in your head, but sweatheart…he’s not right for you. You know that. All these people around you, they’re not right for you, you know this. How could your bosses hire that man back after what he did? They don’t care about you, they only cared about not getting sued, it’s terrible. That Erica girl, it’s disgusting how she carries herself, my goodness the things that come out of her mouth. This Sean boy, I see him on tv…he’s rash and reckless and he’s done nothing but put you in harms way.
Michelle is nearly speechless, the doubt that was already weighing on her grows every day with these conversations, her parents chipping away at her piece by piece, and wearing her down.
(Michelle): Sean’s been nothing but kind to me, and very supportive.
(Michelle’s Mom): You told us he said he promised to protect you, but he hasn’t. We’ve tried to have faith in your judgement, but we think it’s clouded by his silver tongue. Even at Havoc it was that other man, the big one that had to come down and look after you, and look at what they have you doing…babysitting a little girl who shouldn’t even be there. Shame on these people, shame on them Michelle.
(Michelle): But he did momma, Sean fought hard in that match and even when Mr. Angel showed up Sean leaped at him. He jumped in an ambulance to keep him away from me, we chased them down the street.
(Michelle’s Mom): Sweetheart, don’t you see….that boy didn’t do that for you. He’s doing all this for himself. He’s selfish. He lives off the thrill of being seen and noticed and that spotlight life. If he had a shred of respect for you, he’d respect the faith you have in the Lord. We’ve prayed together on this and everything that happened. You’ve forgiven those men for what they did, but he insists on continuing this campaign of his. That man didn’t sexually assault Sean, he’s just using this as an opportunity for himself to act out. It’s what those people do Michelle. If he cared about you so much, he’d respect the decision you’ve made about this, respect your trust and faith in the Lord in this matter and move forward as you have. God said “vengeance is mine” he didn’t say it was Sean Parkers.
(Michelle): It’s not that simple momma.
(Michelle’s Mom): It most certainly is, but it doesn’t matter. In a few weeks, you’ll be home and we can sit down and talk about your future.
(Michelle): Maybe if you all met Sean…
(Michelle’s Mom): We got the tickets, but you’re father’s been very clear on this Michelle. We don’t have any interest in meeting those people, any of them, especially that boy. Now, I’ve got to go sweetie, it’s almost 2:00 o’clock and we’re going to meet at the church and do a Zoom with the congregation in Maui, see what we can do for those poor people.
(Michelle): Ok, momma, love you!
(Michelle’s Mom): Love you too sweetheart, bye!
Michelle sighs deeply, slumping back in her chair as she looks at her camera. She feels overwhelmed, simply overwhelmed and unsure about everything.
(Michelle): Well, once again the whole world knows what my folks think. I don’t know guys…it’s….it’s complicated. I miss home, I really do but,….I don’t know. Right now, I think I’ll go to the gym and sweat it out a bit. I had a few sessions with Mr. Hans scheduled, but now that he’s been made referee of my match, I don’t know how he feels about doing them, and we were just getting to the good stuff too. I don’t know if it’s appropriate now. People might think I’m cheating or trying to bribe him and that wouldn’t be nice. I don’t know. I feel like I’m rambling so, I better end this for now. Thank you guys so much for your support, I love you all, and I’ll see you soon!
Michelle smiles and blows a kiss as she ends the livestream. She gets up feeling heavy, heads to her room to grab her gym bag and within minutes she’s out door and heading to HQ to try and get her head in the game for Art of War as the scene fades to black.
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