Behind him, the sun is shining in the sky, he’s sat on the balcony of his hotel in St Maarten.
Dressed in just his swim trunks, Hans relaxes back against the balcony wall, steadying himself.
(Hans): Hallo aus St. Maarten. As you can see, the sun ist wunderbar.
He pans the camera around briefly, taking in the hotel complex and the ocean beyond.
(Hans): I thought I’d check in and do this while I wait for meine geliebte to get back and then we can go down to the beach proper, I’d caught up on the promos that some of the roster have done. I’d hoped that you’d have found some new material in the time I was away Herr Chaos, but nein… nein, nein, nein…
The shaking of his head follows as he slowly stresses the last few words out.
(Hans): You’re the little schoolyard bully Herr Chaos. It’s not I that’s afraid to face you and…
Looking down at his phone and his Twitter account, he reads off what’s been said.
(Hans): … ‘get my balls out of Vanessa’s purse’, or ‘if I want to prove otherwise, I can get in the ring with you… oh wait, that’s not going to happen because I don’t have the balls’... or I’m ‘all talk’ or that ‘you at least have the balls to back it up’...
As he’s reading this, the smile on his face is growing ever larger. Finishing up, Hans looks directly into the camera.
(Hans): Herr Chaos, mein gott! What is it with you and my balls? It seems to be occupying quite a significant portion of your thoughts of late… and given how many personalities you’ve got up there vying for dominance, jah, that’s saying something…
A shrug, grin still there.
(Hans): Is it the one thing you all agree on? How does it work?
He makes a waving motion at the camera, as if shushing it away for now.
(Hans): Nevermind that Herr Chaos, first things first, be careful around Erika, you’re bed bound and in no fit state to do anything about it if she feels you’re encroaching on her territory.
A small pause, Hans considering what to add.
(Hans): But let’s not poke that one any further, jah. Back onto the latest scoop from Maniac-Verse. I’m too afraid to face you?
The bark of laughter is gone almost as soon as it begins, Hans then staring into the camera as if in disbelief.
He pats himself on the chest a few times as he begins to speak.
(Hans): I’m too afraid to face you? Herr Chaos, selbst für dich ist das unsinn. Has that CTE reared its head? We fought at the very last Havoc show. Mein gott, do you not remember? Do you not remember attacking me not once, but twice with an illegal weapon in that match? Do you not remember trying to knock me out and take the win with that sap of yours? Or at ‘Art of War’ when you and Erika knock the lights out and take out Jeremy and I and then make a mad dash for the top of the ramp before we can regain consciousness… I’m afraid of you? Nein. Nein Herr Chaos, it’s you who is afraid of me.
A short pause as he savours the words he’s said.
(Hans): You’ll see me face to face in Utah will you Herr Chaos? I very much doubt that. You’ll be in the shadows and skulking in the rafters like a… wie ein Scheiß-Batman… and as for your other words…
The spit flies from his mouth and onto the ground, the look in his eyes seething.
Silence.
A look of sadness flits across the face, replaced in short order by derision, as Hans begins to force the next words out.
(Hans): Now I see that you’re as ugly inside as you are outside Herr Chaos. You’re a little schoolyard bully desperate for attention because without it you’re nothing. But that’s the thing, you have nothing to offer either. What Miller turned you down all those months ago, it was because you brought nothing to the table. What are you famous for? A match that doesn’t need the ability to wrestle to succeed in? That has all the pyro and barbarity, why, because without it, it’s got nothing. Why do you need to cheat? Because you have nothing if you don’t. Why do you attack others when their backs are turned? Because you have no ability to face them head on like a man. Why are you so desperate to face me? Because without me you are nothing Herr Chaos. A sad little burnt husk, inside him some sad little personalities fighting it out for control… pathetic...
Cutting the feed, the scene fades to black.
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