(Matt): Hey guys, almost didn’t see you there, so I didn’t. You might wanna get this on camera, it’s important, so it is!
He takes his hand off the microphone of his cell phone and answers it.
(Matt): Sorry about that, sure I had another call waiting there. Yes, this is Matt Miller, thanks for returning my call. Normally I’d go to Butch or Wisdom Parker with this but given everything that’s happened lately, I’d much rather go through the correct channels? This is Human Resources, isn’t it? It is? Grand! Jessica? Pleased to make yer acquaintance, Jessia. Jessica, I would like to record a grievance against a fellow HWA employee, please…. of course, her name is Mandy Banks, one of the interviewers here, she runs the YouTube channel… Yes, that’s her. What did she do, you ask? It’s an interesting question to ask, so it is. She recently conducted an interview and made an inappropriate comment about my sexual orientation in this interview. I can give you a quote if ye like, so I can, I have written down here, give me a second…
Matt stoops down and pulls a piece of folded paper out of his gym bag with his handwriting scrawled across it. He brings it up and puts the phone back to his ear.
(Matt): Sorry about that, Jessica. So, in an interview aired just this afternoon, with fellow HWA superstar Maniac, aka Antonio Romano, Miss Banks said, and I quote “Recently a bombshell has been dropped when it was found out not only is Matt Miller a homosexual but in a relationship with Jeremy Branson.” Now, whilst the latter part of this statement is factually correct, I am in a relationship with fellow employee Jeremy Branson and, yes, he is a man, I am not confirmed, declared or came out as a homosexual. Being in a relationship with another man does not make me a homosexual and Miss Banks’ blatant declaration of this, according to my attorney, is textbook slander...uh-huh… that is correct, Jessica, I can certainly email you over details regarding the testimony my attorney has put together. Essentially, this statement is false, it was presented as fact, it was not a privileged communication and was made with negligence and reckless disregard for the truth. That’s right. Yes, I officially wish to make a formal grievance and complaint against Miss Mandy Banks for slander….no, thank you, Jessica, I appreciate the time, you too! Bye!
Matt hangs up the call and looks at the camera.
(Matt): Just for a change, I have no interest in Maniac today. My focus is on someone else. Mandy Banks…How f*cking dare you, Mandy! Ye think just because I am in a relationship with Jeremy that automatically makes me gay? I’m curious, so I am, which sources clarified this “bombshell” of yours ye were so quick to drop on yer psychotic beau during that little interview ye conducted. I have never come out and said I’m gay and, as I said to Jessica there at HR Head Office there, for ye to come out and state this as if it were fact in an official public forum, is as textbook an example of slander as yer likely to get. And in all honesty, my sexuality is none of anyone’s f*cking business which I’ve already said before. Did I forget myself in a moment of weakness with Jeremy the other day? I absolutely did and I came out publicly and held my hands up to it, but never once did I declare my sexuality.
Matt stops for a moment, gathering his thoughts before continuing.
(Matt): Now, ye might think “Matt, yer making a big song and dance about this, aren’t ya?” or “why do ya have a problem with being called gay if your boyfriend is gay?”
Matt offers an almost-understanding nod of his head and shrug of his shoulders.
(Matt): Fair questions, so they are. I’m making a big deal of this because it is the principle of the matter, so it is! And of course I have absolutely no problem with Jeremy being gay, I’m in a f*cking relationship with him! But what I don’t appreciate is the automatic and ignorant pigeonholing. Ya know, Mandy, seeing as yer supposedly a sucker for a scoop and exclusive, instead of running straight to Maniac and spouting yer bullshit assumptions, ye could have just picked up the phone and asked me for a candid interview and ye know what? I’d gladly have given it to ya, so I would have. But ye’ve shown absolutely no journalistic integrity whatsoever, choosing to run straight to yer boyfriend like a little schoolgirl passing gossip around the school corridors, making this proclamation like you just bagged the exclusive of the century. So, as ye’ll have heard there, I have chosen to record an official grievance against you so keep an eye on your email because you’ll also be hearing from my attorney as well, so you will.
Matt proceeds to pack up his gym bag along with his belongings and makes his way to the changing rooms, turning his back to the cameras as the scene fades to black.
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