Standing in front of the camera is Tobias.
He doesn’t look like he wants to be there or doing what he needs to do. The expression on him is clearly of someone wanting this over and done with.
As he starts to speak, the tone of his voice rams that home.
(Tobias): Urgh, spare me the religious stuff buddy, it’s tired, it’s old, it’s cliche, it wants its 401K… much like your old man does to be fair.
C’mon, face facts, he’s there for the pay day associated with an old fan favorite federation returning, he’s not got much time left. It’s like the good ‘ole Nature Boy. What can’t keep him down is being coddled in a tag match with a younger team mate. Let him in for a chop and a ‘whooooo’ and then let gravity take over as he goes for the pin… know what I’m saying?
Ah who am I kidding, of course you f*cking don’t Jeremy…
A snap of the fingers.
(Tobias): Wait, there’s someone already called that…
A look of ‘oh well’ and a shrug of the shoulders follows on.
(Tobias): Equally as sh*t and boring to watch.
…
And that takes me onto my point Jamie, I don’t need to hear you speak, really, I don’t. I really, really don’t.
The last few words are stressed. Forced through gritted teeth as he closes his eyes as if remembering a bad memory.
(Tobias): Anyway, I don’t need you to speak to ‘figure out’. I have eyes. I’ve watched your last matches. You telegraph your moves like you’ve got a megaphone strapped to your face.
But, cos you’re maybe more of a visual guy, clearly you’re not a listener, I have this.
A small nod down below him, causing the camera to pan out and reveal a table in front of him.
(Tobias): This is how easy it is to figure you out.
On the table before him is a child’s jigsaw. It’s one of those starter sets.
6 pieces lie jumbled on the table.
Without any further fanfare, he rapidly assembles it.
(Tobias): There, done. Me doing this, is the equivalent of reading you John. But you did say something right in amongst that garbled mess..
The camera pans out yet further, again revealing the wall mounted TV.
The scene plays from Jesse’s earlier promo.
(Jesse): So training just means you will be below my average abilities.
Frozen right at the end of his sentence, the camera focuses back in on Tobias.
(Tobias): Average abilities? My god, that’s self reflection there Jeremiah, spot on, you are bang average. Mediocre. A jobber. Before you get put back to that ‘Before the Bell’ stuff, savour what it’s like to be in a match that actually matters. Get a taste of the excellence you’ll be witnessing. Then go have some more self reflection buddy, kay?
As for ‘seeing you soon’, I mean… duh, I literally pointed it out to you at the end of my last promo… so, I mean, well done on the active listening skills or whatever you’re wasting your time with instead of getting good Jackass.
The scene fades to black.
Message Thread
« Back to index