The newly discovered creature the Lazy Butt Goblin.
Posted by Wolfy
on March 3, 2024, 3:09 pm
Scene opens. We see Tobias Clarke laying in his spa bed and we hear a stereotypical British animal documentary narrator voice. (narrator): Somewhere in a city we see the newly discovered fascinating creature called a Lazy Butt Goblin. The Lazy Butt Goblin is at the spa getting a parafango wrap. The Lazy Butt Goblin is obsessed over the condition of its skin. However scientists noticed it's not to attract a mate. Scientists theorize it has something to do with a nasty rash or pimples as the Lazy Butt Goblin is so slimy. You would believe based off the Lazy Butt Goblins appearance that he's a mammal but scientists have proven that he's actually not, and actually belongs to a family all of it's own. Scientists are debating on the name of this family however some calling it a pre Madonna, some calling it a Tyler Breeze Wannabe however most scientists agree to calling this new family a d😱uche We see Tobias Clarke at last Havoc picking on someone for not giving him water. (narrator): We see the Lazy Butt Goblin picking on an innocent person as Lazy Butt Goblins feed off being snobs to others. However we then see someone come in to save the Lazy Butt Goblins victim. We then see Wolfy giving Tobias Clarke a armbar at last Havoc (narrator): The Lazy Butt Goblin are very skittish critters so how opossums play dead The Lazy Butt Goblin will do something just as effective called throwing a child fit. (Tobias Clarke): You f*cking freakshow I'll sue your a**. I'll have your whole lot euthanized. (narrator): The Lazy Butt Goblin for extra protection will then urinate inside it's pants and cry to its mom. The screen then switches to an image signaling a commercial break. we then see Wolfy in a jungle with a khaki shirt and shorts wearing a long brim fedora. Wolfy is also holding a pear of nice binoculars. (Wolfy): Hey there buds! did you hear about the new expedition at the next havoc?! We're gonna search for the newly discovered species The Lazy Butt Goblin, and you can be involved because we're now introducing the very first HWA Kids Zone Adventure! you'll receive some free gifts and maybe even see some of my other critters! However the greatest thing of all you will see me wrestle the Lazy Butt Goblin, winning against him just like I've wrestled the Crocs! So come on down and get your tickets now! All profits of course will go to animal charities! Wolfy then looks through his binoculars and looks at the camera pointing at something beyond the cameras view (Wolfy): Holy lizard a Lazy Butt Goblin. Be very quiet buds we don't want him urinating himself and crying to his mom. The screen fades to black.
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