We see Wolfy sitting at his desk at the Hoff Wildlife center and right next to him is a coffee, and infront of him is the perfection belt and a hammer sitting right next to that. He also has his Bearded Dragon named Cannon on his shoulder.
(Wolfy): Hey there buds! I seen the Lazy Butt Goblin is on x. Gosh forbid the Lazy Butt Goblin learned how to remember lines without a notebook and made an actual promo. Nice gas station sushi tho! Id be very careful with those tho. My seals will eat it without problem but as for Lazy Butt Goblins. It can give your species... well this..
This clip then plays.
?si=QMj-GiDWqWbfRIw3
(Wolfy): I know it won't change your smell much Lazy Butt Goblin as you already smell like that. I'm just saying be careful.
Wolfy then picks up his coffee and acts like he's about to lose grip of the coffee cup over the Perfection Belt.
(Wolfy): Woah... woah! Oh no!... Nah I'm just messing with ya. Did I make you pee yourself just a little Lazy Butt Goblin? Anyway I seen Lazy Butt Goblins comment about this being fake. Well it's not. I hate to tell you Lazy Butt Goblin, your belt isn't popular enough to be sold at Target. This isn't one of my bits I'm not joking with this one. This is your Perfection Belt. I had someone go in and get it for me. I also watched him do it from afar so I'm aware of where he got it. If you'd like it back you can agree to the match and meet me in the zoo. However if you would still like to call it fake trying to play it off to your little very few fans that you weren't very easy to take a title from to save your ego. That's fine with me but in order to get it back you just have to agree to the match. Meet me in the Zoo.
Wolfy then takes the belt and hammer and puts it to the side out of camera view then composes himself.
(Wolfy): Anyway there's a few other people I'd like to address. Starting off with Stu-E and his daughter Laney. Again I am extremely thankful to both of you for watching my Chimp. I also heard what happened with Emelia Clarke and your cellphone. I am truly sorry for that happening none of that was my intention. If your phone is broken from my Chimp I'm happy to get it replaced. I'm truly sorry. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you please let me know. I'm really sorry.
Wolfy then takes a sip of his coffee before addressing his next person.
(Wolfy): As for Michelle Learner. I have a lot of respect for you Michelle and Sean both. However I have to respectfully disagree with some things you said. You seem to forget what I stand for, what's happened to me and who I am. I knew you mentioned me calling Lazy Butt Goblin by that nickname. However you seem to forget the names he's called me before I even came up with Lazy Butt Goblin. Hell Lazy Butt Goblin still calls me Monkey. I don't say anything I laugh at the stupid name and move on. As for the stealing you have to remember whos been trying and threaten to take my animals away. From crying to management about them for them to take them away to even calling the police. Where he wanted to take things permanently away from me I wanted to take something till he agreed to a wrestling match. Not even compete for the useless thing just for him to agree to the match. I know a lot of people disagree with this match saying it's to extreme. I'm sorry but I thought this was HWA? Hardcore Wrestling Alliance. Hardcore for Hardcore matches. Am I the only one in this company who grew up watching actual hardcore matches? From ECW to the matches with Mick Foley to even watching Jake The Snake Roberts snake biting Macho Man Randy Savage? If you're seriously curious why I want a true hardcore match. You forgot who I am. I'm a man who belongs to a group of people who would give their life for wildlife. Some wildlife warriors will actually go to war in order to protect endangered species. That's what I'm willing to do since Lazy Butt Goblin won't stop messing with my animals. I will go to war with Lazy Butt Goblin in the most hardcore matches you'd ever see in order for him to remember to never mess with those animals again. Me and Lazy Butt Goblin are no longer in a rivalry. We are at war.
Wolfy takes a deep breath calming down after ranting about Tobias Clarke. Wolfy then thinks about what he wants to talk about next. He then starts to look sad holding a lot of emotions back.
(Wolfy): As for Prof. Hoff Michelle... I do respect you and Sean a lot so I do warn you. You see Prof. Hoff run... He is who he says he is. He has been locked up before for good reason. He's insane and no human life or animal life is
valuable to him. He doesn't care about winning or losing matches. He cares about his experiments and will do anything to capture people for doing his experiments... If anyone has any information on the location of The Shark and Prof. Hoff please tell me. I don't want him to go through it too.. I'll do anything to save him...
Wolfy then does everything he can to hold back tears of fears of old memories.
(Wolfy): I'm so sorry he followed me to HWA...
Suddenly the screen turns into static as if the broadcast is being hacked. When the screen clears up we see The Shark tied to a chair in a dark black room with lasers going around him. The Shark looks beaten up and exhausted. We then see Prof. Hoff walk into frame giving an insane laugh. Kind of resembling the joker.
(Prof. Hoff): Welcome to The Shark podcast it's going to be a Fin-tastic show. *gives an insane laugh* As today we are gonna have a show about science. Today's experiment is what do you gotta do to make a man talk?
Prof. Hoff then walks towards The Shark then bends down getting only inches from The Sharks face. Facing him face to face.
(Prof. Hoff): For me to stop today you just say into this camera who you are under that mask okay?
The Shark slowly lifts up his head looking into Prof. Hoffs eyes then spits in his face.
(The Shark): Go to hell!
Prof. Hoff then jumps back wiping the spit from his face. Prof. Hoff is now looking furious. Prof. Hoff then pulls out a syringe needle from his jacket.
(Prof. Hoff): Wrong answer! You like sharks?! How about looking like one?!
Prof. Hoff then runs up to The Shark grabbing his head then injecting both of The Sharks eyes with the needle all while The Shark screams in pain. Once done The Sharks eyes are black resembling a Great White Shark.
(Prof. Hoff): Now who are you?!
The Shark then begins to whimper in pain as he answers.
(The Shark): Why don't you take a bath with Piranhas.
Prof. Hoff then takes another needle out of his jacket and injects it into The Sharks arm. The Shark then screams in pain then eventually passes out from the pain. Prof. Hoff then stares at The Shark for a few seconds then looks back to the camera.
(Prof. Hoff): Well apparently this episode will be continued, next time on The Shark Podcast. Just remember none of you are safe. I am coming for you all. You all will be.... My subjects....
The screen then turns back into static as it fades to black.
Message Thread
« Back to index