Into view of the camera walks Tobias.
As usual, it’s a sparse and plain looking room, nondescript in every way.
A look of happiness is evident on Tobias’ face. It’s the weekend, it could be down to many things, but let's face facts, it’ll be because he’s feeling superior.
Let’s find out why…
(Tobias): Well, lookie-here, Maniac has come out swinging. He’s got attitude, he’s got sass, he’s completely wrong and talking sh*t as per usual… but y’know buddy, two out of three…
A shrug, a ‘know what I mean’ expression on the face, and then we’re off to the races.
(Tobias): First off though, fine, I won’t carry you Maniac. Since you’ve been in that chair of yours of late, I’ll be wheeling you about buddy, kay? Happy now?
And yes, yes I do think I’m going to beat you. I mean, again, back to the whole wheelchair thing… and you being old anyway… and 100% f*cked in the head… and yeah, compared to me? It’s night and day buddy.
I’ll return the ‘cute’ comment though. I think it’s cute that you, you, of all people, Mr Chicago, Mr fire ball in the face, Mr attacking people with saps in matches… y’know buddy, I think it’s cute you’re calling me out when you’ve got that résumé.
In fact… y’know…
A moment of realization hits.
A smirk, it’s got that cruel edge to it, that glint in the eye that bullies have when they’ve got you cornered.
(Tobias): In fact, it seems like you’ve got yet another personality coming out into the open there Maniac, to add on to the pile I’ve already mentioned there… what was it now?
Out comes the note pad.
Flipped open dramatically, Tobias, still smirking, glancing up at the camera for a fraction as he flips the pages to get to where he wants to.
(Tobias): ‘So come at me with your newly repaired knee or your massive ego. Bring your muscles and your so called skills, bring your ankle locks, spears, and that German accent you like to talk all that smack in but can't seem to back it up’
The notepad drops down, Tobias just looking into the camera for a few seconds, judging.
The next words are just dripping with condescension.
(Tobias): Buddy, what the actual f*ck are you talking about? I’ve tried to process it about five times now, and each time it’s physically hurt, because you make no sense there at all.
Listen, I get it, you like trying out edgy looks, here’s the ‘psycho’, here’s the ‘redemption arc guy’, here’s the ‘mentor’ look… but buddy, the ‘dumb as rocks’ one is just f*cking lame…
He glances over dramatically down at his knees before looking back at the camera.
(Tobias): No, not my knees. They’re working just fine. Oh wait, maybe you meant the leader of the Nepo Squad, management’s favorite nephew?
Another shrug.
(Tobias): I mean, you’d think that, wouldn’t you? But then, you mention ego… and well, that can’t be aimed at me. It's not arrogance when you're this good afterall buddy, so try again.
So who are you talking about?
Because, f*ck me, we have a third contender. ‘Spears, and that German accent you like to talk all that smack in…’
I mean, buddy…
The laugh that comes is sickeningly obnoxious.
Hands on his hips, his head is tilted back and Tobias is howling.
A few moments pass, his head dropping back down. He looks like he’s composing himself, before he s######s once more, not bothering to conceal it at all, as he looks at the camera.
(Tobias): Were you talking about Hans there? I mean I guess you were, because otherwise, buddy, you’ll be getting one of those ‘random’ drug tests tomorrow that management does from time to time.
Get you f*cking ears checked out and put down the drink. Who the f*ck mistakes a Canadian accent for some trash European one?
Y’know, I think I will be carrying you… sorry, wheeling you at Ringmaster. Because on that evidence, you’re going to be lucky to know which way to face in the ring, let alone hold a candle to me.
So yeah, you may have experience of Ringmaster there Maniac, but I don’t think that matters much when you seem to lose track of who you’re talking about in a single sentence…
He taps his head, still smirking.
(Tobias): Maybe you’re not psychotic, maybe it’s just dementia buddy… you are a ‘geriatric’ afterall.
He waggles his fingers at the camera.
(Tobias): Speak soon gramps.
The scene fades out to black as he strides off screen, still smirking.
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