Posted by CCM13 on 6/18/2009, 11:48 pm
Softball- definition- a recreational sport for guys that couldn’t make it in baseball and take it so seriously that they want to fight the other team after the game if they didn’t win or make excuses why they lost in the parking lot or on a message board.
This is my story on softball:
Resmondo- the Yankees of softball that sponsors spend all kinds of money on to get the best recreational sport players in the game. Then, they call themselves major players and somewhere along the line get “Major” confused with Major League Baseball. They are the best team, get over it. The next best, Dan Smith and Long Haul. As well they should be. Get over it if you aren’t on a major team. It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.
Sponsors- Have so much money that they don’t know what to do with it so they decide to spend it on a recreational sport. They spend thousands trying to get the best washed up baseball players to win a 50 dollar ring so when they get on message boards they can put 5 time world champ after their post. These guys truly need applauded, because without these guys that have more money than they do brains, there wouldn’t be big time softball. It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.
Bats- People complain about this and that about bats. Who cares if they are shaved or rolled. What’s the difference if a guy hits it 301 or 450 feet. This is getting so stupid that people are getting called doctors because they can pop off the cap and shave out the inside and stick it back on with a little glue. The title “Bat Doctor” might be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard of. I’m properly groomed and nobody calls me a “Pubic Doctor.” It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.
Ooooooping- definition- the gayest thing any softball player can do to look like a big terd. I’m so proud of myself that I made solid contact with a ball coming in underhanded about 10 miles an hour that I need to make a noise like someone just kicked me in the nuts so everyone in the park knows that I hit it hard. Man I’m cool while standing on 2nd base. Now I look at my fat girlfriend behind the fence to make sure she saw me hit that tough pitch coming in underhanded. It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.
The step out- definition- when a batter gets so upset because the umpire called a strike on a bad pitch coming in 10 mph underhanded that he has to call time out to gather himself. It goes like this:
1. the batter gives the ump a dirty look
2. calls time out
3. takes 5 steps back and takes a practice swing (this takes about 20 seconds)
4. gets a dirty look on his face as he steps back into the box and takes 5 more seconds before he says set
5. pops the next pitch up
6. yells at the umpire the whole way back to the dugout saying, “That’s on you ump! You forced me to swing at that one! You put me in the hole! (As if Randy Johnson was throwing 100 mph fastballs.) Somewhere before the on deck circle and the batters box this moron forgot the ball was coming in underhanded at 10 mph. What a douchbag….. It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.
Classification system- tells you the level of your suckiness in a recreation sport. Unless you play Major, you get made fun of by all the classes above you. If you succeed you get b###hed at by others in your class. This system was thought up by a genius. This allows everyone that has no athletic ability to feel good about themselves if they win a tournament. They should say it like golf. What is your handicap. You’d be a 6 handicap if you were E class. It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.
The Theory that Softball is fun to watch- Softball Kingdom tried that last year. Try and treat a recreational sport like it’s a professional sport and have people pay to watch it on the internet. Didn’t go over so well did it? Do you know why? It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.
HGH- when guys talk about taking a cycle just to look bigger in their uniform. Yea that’s a great idea. Let’s take years off my life so I can hit more homeruns and pull up my sleeves when I hit. It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.
Nicknames- when you get to a certain level when you think you are so good that your real name needs to change. Examples- biggons, big ticket, laser, basher, the list could go on forever. You need to look in the mirror and ask yourself, “When I die, do I want people to remember me for a nickname I earned in a recreation sport that was made for girls?” Here is what you answer should be to yourself, “Probably not.” It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.
I could go on forever and at others request I might add to the story. The cliff notes for this story are:
You aren’t a pro at anything if the word softball is used in a sentence. If you get on this message board and talk about all of this crap then you are a big terd. Remember this the next time you talk about one of these gay topics, “It’s softball, a recreational sport and the ball is coming in underhanded.” And did I mention that it was a sport for girls, not grown men.
Thank you
Message Thread:
« Back to thread