HWA Message Board: No Sense Of Style

10/01/2013
L.A. Comic-Con | Los Angeles, California
3:25 p.m.

* We open to a long shot of what appears to be the interior of a large building set up for a comic convention of some kind. A large banner that reads “Los Angeles Comic-Con” is found at the top of the entrance that leads to the main floor of the show. We cut past the admission table and move onto the main floor. Selections of vendor tables are found scattered throughout the building while individual crowds of fans are seen moving from table to table. A few celebrities are found seated near the back of the main floor, mostly out of work actors and actresses signing autographs and other types of memorabilia. *

Michael James: This is ####ing pathetic.

* A crowd found in one of the aisles begins to gradually clear. We gain sight of Michael James as he gradually makes his way down the aisle. His thoughts are exposed as he begins to browse a collection of grindhouse DVD’s at one of the vendor tables. James picks up one of the DVD’s and grows a smirk of disgust after looking at the price tag. He drops the DVD and continues to move down the aisle *

Michael James: That’s the only true way to describe one of these things. Just take a look around.

* We cut to James’ point of view as he pans the room. He stops upon sight of an attractive woman in her early twenties looking slightly annoyed. She taps her foot and glares at the clock on her cell phone as her chubby boyfriend directs his attention towards a table selling star trek lobby cards. *

Michael James: You see what I mean?

* James walks by the table and purposely bumps into her boyfriend causing him to slump on top of the table. He continues to casually walk by as the woman smiles at James while paying no attention to her boyfriend *

Michael James: But the only thing I can think that could possibly be worse than having to attend one of these senseless events is the thought of having this type of pointless horse shit running rampant in a place like the HWA. Luckily, that isn’t going to happen anytime soon. I won’t let it happen because it’s not a part of the plan. If that was the case; Butch Parker, the self proclaimed “man of steel”, would finally have something meaningful in this life outside of his marriage to a cockeyed prostitute.

* James laughs to himself *

Michael James: What people need to understand about Butch Parker is that he is very much like a damaged child. He wants the world to believe he has the ability to do things that he will never achieve. Butch wants to manipulate the general public in hopes of gaining the support of the people. And you know what? That’s fine. Everyone needs a support system of some kind no matter what the case might be.

* James stops in front of one of the tables and spots a vendor selling classic t-shirts from the 1980’s. He gradually browses the shirts until stopping upon sight of one with a “Garbage Pail Kids” logo on the front. James looks at the vendor *

Michael James: That one.

* The vendor folds the shirt for James and hands it to him. James gives the vendor a twenty dollar bill and tells him to keep the change. The vendor thanks him and James continues to walk down the aisle *

Michael James: I never required assistance or support to do the things I set out to do. What can I say? Some have it and some don’t. Butch Parker just happens to be one of the many that lack any kind of natural born talent. He needs the support of the klu klux klan to guide his confidence. Without them, he’s just another lump of shit on the side of the street.

* James stops for a second and tosses the shirt over his shoulder. He turns around and gains sight of the woman from before. She smiles at him once again and he smiles back. James looks behind her to see her boyfriend ignoring her once again. This time for an autograph from one of the original munchkins from the Wizard of Oz *

Michael James: I think the one aspect about Butch that is really getting on my nerves is his constant lack of commitment. Instead of acting like a hero in the face of adversity, Butch has decided to tuck tail like a little b###h in hopes that his problems are going to just magically disappear like a fart in the ####ing wind. I don’t know about anyone else but that doesn’t sound like the proper behavior of an invincible world champion. It sounds like the picture perfect description of a weak minded coward with nothing left in the tank.

* James moves through a crowd of fans standing in line to meet Jason Mewes. He takes notice of a sign near the table that reads “Autographs - $35.00”. James grows a bitter expression of disgust on his face as he continues to move forward *

Michael James: Butch and Wisdom Parker need to realize that I’m not going anywhere. For me, this has always been about my own advancement. This is about establishing my undefeated name amongst all the other assholes that refuse to acknowledge my undeniable status as the future of the industry. I’m talking about gutless cocksuckers like Freddie Styles that expect to be awarded for doing less than nothing. But like I said before, it makes no difference what stupid people want to believe. They don’t have to like it. They don’t even have to accept it. They can be just like Butch the b###h Parker and run away from the things they don’t have the ability to change. I really don’t give a ####. I’m not in the HWA to waste my time with senseless business that doesn’t concern me.

* James looks towards another celebrity table and spots former actor and star of the television series “Hercules”, Kevin Sorbo. James looks away trying his best not to laugh at Sorbo’s pathetic appearance. James moves past the table and spots a sign above one of the doors that reads “EXIT”. James walks through the door and makes his way to the hotel bar. He calls out to the bartender and orders a shot of bourbon. The bartender pours the liquor into a shot glass and places it on the counter. James places a ten dollar bill next on the bar and picks up the shot. He pours the liquor down his throat *

Voice: Mr. James?

* James turns to his left coming face to face with younger man wearing a Blink 182 t-shirt. *

Fan: Michael?

Michael James: Yea.

* James says with limited enthusiasm *

Fan: Is there any way I could get you to sign something for me?

Michael James: That depends.

Fan: On what?

Michael James: Exactly how much you’re willing to pay for it.

Fan: Oh.

* The fan says with slight disappointment *

Michael James: Is there a problem?

Fan: Well, kind of. I only brought so much cash with me and this one from Jason Mewes really set me back. But it was worth it.

* The fan shows James a glossy photograph signed by Jason Mewes *

Michael James: It was worth it. You really think so?

Fan: Definitely.

Michael James: I think you might want to go get your money back.

Fan: Why?

Michael James: Because you just got ripped off for thirty five bucks by a ####ing heroin addict. That’s why.

Fan: No, he kicked the habit. I read—

* James laughs out loud*

Michael James: Lemme tell you something kid. I don’t care what you read. Mewes is a ####ing junkie who would be better off dead than the way he is now. He’s going to take that money you spent on his useless autograph and use it to feed his habit, most likely giving himself another overdose. But you know what? I’m sure he’s used to that by now.

* James pours another shot of bourbon down his throat *

Michael James: Just don’t kid yourself by thinking he’s walking the straight and narrow. I mean, why do you think he’s at a damn comic show in ####ing east LA when he could be in Hollywood working on the next Smith movie? It’s because like the rest of those hacks in there no one wants to have anything to do with him. Just like Butch Parker, he’s a born loser.

Fan: What about Jay and Silent Bob? He was so funny—

Michael James: No, he was on heroin. Plain and simple. He showed up every day of production high as a ####ing kite hoping he could pull the wool over the eyes of the man who Mewes claimed to be his best friend. Does that sound like someone you would want to look up to? Hmm?

Fan: Well, I guess not. But—

Michael James: You guess not? Do you think it’s funny to #### over your friends?

Fan: I don’t understand what you mean.

Michael James: That’s right. You don’t. And therein lies the problem. If you idolize scumbags like Jason Mewes then you don’t have any reason to complain when life refuses to work out the way you planned.

Fan: I can understand that.

Michael James: For your sake, I sure hope so.

* James drops another ten dollar bill on the bar and turns away from the fan. He walks past the bar and starts making his way towards the front entrance of the building. He makes his exit from the building and gradually makes his way across the street. James approaches his Pontiac GTO and opens the driver side door. He gets inside and closes the door, places the key in the ignition and starts up the engine. Michael James places a cigarette between his lips and lights it. He exhales, moves the gear shift into drive and puts his foot down on the gas pedal. The car quickly speeds out of frame *

10/01/2013
Sure Shot Guns & Ammo | Orange County, California
6:48 p.m.

* The scene opens with the exterior of what appears to be a gun shop. We move back to show the store located in between two individual liquor stores, quickly clarifying the store’s location to be in one of the lower class areas of Orange County. A few seconds later a Pontiac GTO pulls up in front of the store and parks near the curb. The driver door opens and we see Michael James step out of the car. He takes another drag from his cigarette and tosses it into the street. James moves forward and walks into the store. Once inside, James approaches the front counter and requests to see the owner. A few seconds later, a man looking like something out of a biker film appears behind the counter. *

Owner: How can we help ya?

Michael James: I’m here to pick up a custom order I made a few weeks ago.

Owner: What name did you use to call it in?

Michael James: Kurten.

Owner: Hold on. I’ll check.

* The owner walks past the counter and through an entrance leading to the back of the store. A few minutes later he comes back holding a box in his hands. He drops it on the counter in front of James *

Owner: There ya go.

* James opens the box and pulls something out that appears to be sealed with bubble wrap. He tears off the wrapping and reveals the object to be custom made brass knuckles. James slides the brass knuckles onto his hand and grips his fist. He pays close attention to the spikes that are welded to the top of each ring. *

Owner: It that what you were looking for?

Michael James: They’re perfect. What do I owe you?

* We cut back to the outside of the shop. The front door opens and James walks out with a confident smirk on his face. He walks to his car and opens the driver side door. He gets inside the car, closes the door and starts the engine. Before making another move, James directs his attention towards the passenger seat. The HWA All Star Championship is found resting on the cushion. There is seat belt strapped across the face plate. James places the gear shift into drive and quickly pulls away as we hear the sound of his 305 engine echoing in the distance. Inside the car we find James trying to find something to listen to on the radio. He stops when hearing the sound of Chris Barnes’ voice on a particular heavy metal station. He leans back in his seat and adjusts his sunglasses *

Michael James: For nine months solid, I have owned and defended the HWA All Star Championship better than anyone throughout the history of the company. Sure, people can try to argue validated facts by claiming my words to be complete bullshit but let’s be honest with each other. People know that I’m a man of my word. They know when I say something is going to happen it’s only a matter of time until my predictions come to pass. No one else can do that. Not even the World Champion Butch Parker and that’s why I’m a better champion than he will ever be. Since I took possession of the All Star Championship I have managed to increase its value past the ranks of the “most valued prize in the game”. People want my championship more than they want a shot at Butch because my name holds more value. A victory over Michael James is pretty much the same as achieving the impossible. People say it can be done but without any actual proof or documentation it’s still just another urban legend. Freddie Styles thought he was going to be the one to put an end to my flawless record and become the next All Star Champion. But just like everyone saw on the last edition of Havoc, nothing worked out in accordance to Freddie’s fraudulent expectations. He lost to me a second time just like I said he would. It’s like I said before. I don’t lie and I don’t make fatal mistakes. I said he would lose the match and that’s exactly what happened. Hopefully, Freddie will be able to consider his newfound failure as a sign of things to come. Think about it for a second.

* James puts his foot down on the accelerator and grows a smile on his face as the front of his car forcefully pulls forward. He turns onto an entrance ramp leading to the interstate *

Michael James: First, he lost the tag team championships to Heckler and Kosh. Then, he was caught red handed in an attempt to steal the All Star Championship. What’s next? Is he going to drown his sorrows in Wisdom’s testicles and wake up the next day with oral hepatitis? Who knows? Who cares? In my opinion Styles is nothing more than another weak b###h in my rear view. He doesn’t have anything to do with the World Championship so he might as well be in the same league as Bryan Deas and Stu E Price. All I know is he isn’t getting another shot at my championship until he has a chance to change his game and find a way to end his losing streak. Unlike Herrington and Shevington, I feel no pity for Freddie Styles. I feel no remorse for what I did on Havoc. I was paid to defend my championship and that’s exactly what happened. Is it my fault Freddie couldn’t perform like a professional? Of course it isn’t. It was his fault and now he’s suffering the consequences that come with the reputation of a loser. If he didn’t want to be shamed like this he should have found a different approach that didn’t involve breaking the rules. But, Freddie Styles didn’t want to do that. In James versus Styles II, I did what comes natural to me. I won the match and retained my All Star Championship.

* James turns the dial on the radio until stopping on the comedy channel. He smiles to himself as he listens to one of Sam Kinison’s live performances *

Michael James: And just when I thought I heard the last of Freddie’s endless amounts of bullshit, I get an email from Shevington demanding my participation in a tag match against the team of Parker and Styles. I have no problems with that. I humiliated both of those douche bags before so beating them with the help of the Sheik isn’t going to be a difficult task. For Freddie Styles, this is his half assed opportunity for him to gain some personal redemption for the agony he has suffered over the last few months. For Butch Parker, this is his chance to extract revenge for his family after having to watch his wife spend a night in prison. For Michael James, this match is nothing more than batting practice. There are no championships on the line and nothing at stake but bragging rights. For me, this is a chance to create my own amusement at the expense of two assholes. Personally, I would rather be facing Butch the b###h for the World Championship. But since I am known for my reputation of a company player and a respected champion, I have no choice but to accept these terms with open arms. Sure, Styles will get in the way and try to act as a human shield for Butch. But something tells me that isn’t going to have much effect against the undefeated All Star Champion and the only man in the company with a PhD in chemical warfare. Don’t get me wrong. Generally, Sheik Shakir is a man of peace and spirituality. The only thing you assholes need to keep in mind is he’s also a maniacal terrorist and will not hesitate to release a ####ing Jihad attack on my command.

* James laughs out loud after hearing one of Kinison’s famous punch lines and trademark scream. He reaches inside of his jacket and takes a cigarette from an open pack and places it between his lips. James lights and cigarette and exhales *

Michael James: To the Sheik, this is war and you douche bags are the enemies. Unfortunately, this isn’t a war that either one of you are capable of winning. Neither one of you could beat me when you had the chance and this match isn’t going to be any different. And yes Butch, I understand that you believe you have strength in numbers with Styles watching your back. But let’s get real. Freddie Styles is a ####ing waste. He had the chance to be the All Star Champion and he flushed it down the toilet. He couldn’t handle the concept of being a part of active competition so he threw up his arms and confessed his own defeat. This is the guy you think is going to cover your ass, Butch? Please, b###h. I always knew you were a few fries short of a happy meal but this is ####ing ridiculous. Relying on Freddie Styles as a partner is kind of like playing Russian roulette with a machine gun. Only a complete imbecile would be stupid enough to take those kinds of odds. In this situation, you just happen to be that particular imbecile, Butch. Something tells me you have always had a habit of making bad decisions. Take your relationship with Wisdom as an example. When all the other rednecks decided to walk away from the circle jerk you wanted to stick around and put a ring on her finger. When you were given the chance to defeat Senester for the HWA World Championship you decided to run away from success to witness the birth of a cross gender abomination that doesn’t even belong to you. There are only two possible explanations for your acts of unexplained stupidity. You’re either a glutton for punishment or you’re completely retarded. I’m sure the truth hurts but there is no other way to describe your personality.

* James exhales a cloud of smoke from his mouth and places the engine in second gear causing the front of the car to slightly pull forward. He switches lanes on the interstate as inhales another drag from the cigarette gripped between his lips *

Michael James: Since you and I began this war or words and brutal physicality, I have yet to suffer as much as a dent in my perfect record. You can’t say the same. You suffered a loss to Fallen before losing to me so your record is far from perfect. Sure, you beat Senester to become the World Champion and you’re trying to use that one victory to make up for all of your prior failures. I hate to break it to you asshole but it doesn’t work that way. I don’t care if you beat someone to become king of the HWA. People will always remember your mistakes and use them against you. And you know something else, Butch? I’m one of those people. I can afford to mock and ridicule everything you do because I don’t make mistakes. If I did I wouldn’t be the undefeated champion. You’re nothing more right now but a temporary title holder with no sense of style. If you had any class to donate towards the World Championship I wouldn’t be the only one gunning for the gold. All the guys that want a crack at the All Star Championship would turn their attention towards Butch Parker and forget about Michael James. But everyone knows that isn’t going to happen. I’m the man with the most valuable prize in the company and that’s why I’m placed on a higher scale than Butch Parker. Soon enough, he is going to come to terms with reality and realize what has to happen in order for the HWA to keep moving forward. Parker is going to have to shut his mouth and accept the fact that he has been replaced by a better champion. I know it won’t be easy for but I don’t really care.

* The footage cut to the exterior view of the car while the sound of the car’s thunderous engine bellows from underneath the hood *

Michael James: We need to do what is best for the company and right now the HWA needs a World Champion they can be proud of. They need someone that can hold his own against the weight of the world and walk away without a scratch. So, you know Butch? I’m going to be that World Champion. I’m going to accept the same responsibilities that were too intimidating for you to endure. And yes, I know what you’re saying. Easier said than done, right? Wrong, mother ####er. When it comes to Michael James and Butch Parker, I will always be the better man and the better champion. I will always find a way to remain two steps ahead of anything you have in mind. Why, you ask? It’s not that hard to comprehend, douche. I’m smart and you’re a complete moron. I’m recognized as a winner while you uphold the reputation of a lying piece of racist shit. Defeating you is easy for me because you make it that way, Butch. For someone like Michael James the standard rules do not apply. Beating Butch Parker is easy for me because I’ve seen it and done it all before. I walk the walk and I talk all the shit because I can back it up with no problems. So far, you haven’t a proven a damn thing to me. As far as I can tell you know how to lose better than anyone else. And you know something, Parker? I can admire a man with no shame. You lost to Senester at Blood, Sweat and Tears. You lost to Fallen on Havoc and then you lost to me at Road to Ruin. Anyone else with any sense of self dignity would have thrown in the towel at a moments notice. But not you, Butch.

* He inhales one last drag from his cigarette before tossing it out the driver side window *

Michael James: You would rather stick around and fight through your moments of personal degradation. It hasn’t done very much for you in the long run but you can’t blame an idiot for trying, right? Wrong. I can blame you for anything I want, Butch. I can take your championship at the drop of a hat. More importantly, I can have your cockeyed wife tossed into a jail cell any time I damn well please. I really didn’t want it to come to this but you had to test my limitations. You had to pull the race card and you had to experience how hazardous things can become for you and Wisdom. I told you before, asshole. Unless you have a vagina and perfect tits I’m not a man to be ####ed with. You pissed me off before and I gave you the worst defeat of your career in return. In the best of three series there’s a damn good chance you won’t be making it past the first encounter. I know you, Butch. I know your strengths and I know your weaknesses. Soon enough I’m going to know what it’s like to end your career. So go ahead and keep pushing me. Keep lying to people by calling me a fake and a fraud. My victory over you at Road to Ruin obviously wasn’t a product of anyone’s imagination. I’m sure you and Wisdom will disagree and that’s expected. Share your opinions with the world and give us something to laugh about. The two of you need to be good for something, don’t you?

* James punches the gas pedal and speeds into the distance *