HWA Message Board: Broken Heroes Make Crippled Horses

* The scene opens with a wide angle view of the “Best Damn Sports Show Period” flashing across the frame. When the show’s introduction clears we cut to the studio floor where a variety of large men are found comfortably seated in a makeshift circle. The cameras cut to a closer angle to reveal the men as comedian Tom Arnold, former Green Bay Packer Brett Favre, former Cowboys head coach Jimmy Johnson and the current HWA World Heavyweight Champion Michael James. Tom Arnold runs his standard monologue introducing the individual guests, and for some reason he feels the need to crack a joke at the expense of Michael James *

Tom Arnold: And over here to my far left we have who I assume to be the former governor of California, Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

* Tom Arnold begins to clap as the studio audience laughs along with the overweight and out of work celebrity. When the laughter dies, Michael James leans forward and lowers his sunglasses so they rest on the bridge of his nose *

Michael James: It’s a pleasure to be here, Mrs. Barr.

* The studio audience erupts with laugher in reaction to James’ stab at Tom Arnold’s joke of an acting career. A few seconds later the laughter begins to fade and Arnold pulls a remote control from the front pocket of his shirt. He turns around the points the remote towards a large plasma screen and the official emblem for HWA Fatality appears. Tom turns back around and faces the cameras *

Tom Arnold: Okay, don’t get me wrong folks. Usually I’m not the type of host that would be willing to switch the entire format of the show at the drop of a hat. But today, I think I’m willing to make an exception because I have something you guys gotta see. And for anyone sitting at home that tends to get squeamish at the sight of blood, you’re going to want to leave the room as quickly as possible. Okay. Brett, Jimmy. You ready?

Jimmy Johnson: Roll it.

* Tom turns around and points the remote towards the plasma screen. The HWA emblem disappears and footage from the main event of Fatality begins to play. Michael James leans forward in his seat and tightly grips the HWA World Championship draped over his shoulder. A text appears on the screen that reads ‘Best of Three Series | Title VS. Title | Michael James VS. Butch Parker’. The ring announcer begins his introductions and describes the match as a Taipei Deathmatch *

Brett Favre: James.

* James turns his attention towards Brett *

Michael James: Yea?

Brett Favre: What the hell are they doing with them buckets full of broken glass?

Michael James: Just keep watching, you’ll see.

* Both James and Parker slowly dip their hands in the broken glass making sure their fists are completely covered *

Jimmy Johnson: You gotta be shittin’ me! Did ya’ll use real glass or that breakaway stuff?

Michael James: The breakaway glass is about fifty bucks for a beer bottle, Jimmy. Do you think my boss likes losing money when he doesn’t have to?

Brett Favre: How much did you save by using the real thing?

Michael James: I wouldn’t know. I’m not in charge of keeping track of company expenses.

Jimmy Johnson: What about insurance? I know you damn sure didn’t plan on paying off your medical expenses out of pocket.

Michael James: No, I sure as hell didn’t and that’s why I’m glad that Senester is a man who is always prepared for the worst. No matter what people want to say about his methods he actually cares what happens to the people around him. He knows that he can’t have an HWA without the proper players and we can’t show up for work without being insured at all costs.

Jimmy Johnson: So you’re covered. Is that right?

Michael James: Yes, Mr. Extenze, that’s correct.

* The studio audience has a laugh at the expense of Jimmy Johnson. They turn their attention back to the footage where James and Parker appear to be trading punches. James has already been busted wide open and Butch just has a slight cut above his right cheek. Butch reverses a clothesline by James and sends him crashing to the canvas with a picture perfect suplex. Butch begins to work the crowd as James lies on the mat nursing his back *

Tom Arnold: OH! I think I heard some of the springs buckle on that landing, James. This Parker guy is a damn freak show!

Brett Favre: Why does the camera keep cutting back to the ugly skank in the front row?

* James laughs out loud in reaction to Bret’s description of Wisdom Parker *

Michael James: That’s Wisdom Parker.

Jimmy Johnson: Who?

Michael James: Butch Parker’s wife. Over the last year she’s been on a mission to end my career and this match was what I considered to be her breaking point. She knew her husband had no chance of winning yet she still decided to show up and lend her mindless support.

Brett Favre: Well, lets be honest, James. It’s kind of hard to look down on a woman that’s more than willing to be there for her husband in the heat of battle. Even if they’re both facing certain defeat.

Michael James: But this isn’t a woman we’re talking about, Favre. We’re talking about a stupid, cock-eyed, disease spreading #####. So to be honest with you I don’t have any problems talking down to someone like Wisdom. She tried to make my life a living hell so I did what anyone else would have done in my position. She attacked my orientation and now she’s known throughout the world as a bigot and a close minded racist. You know what I’m known as? I’m known as a man that can make the impossible a reality. I’m recognized as a man that can make history and break records out of sheer boredom.

Jimmy Johnson: What kind of history?

Michael James: You see this, Jimmy?

* James shows Jimmy the HWA World Championship *

Michael James: Since the opening of the company I have been the only Japanese man to become the HWA World Champion. Not only that, I’m also the only Japanese man to hold the All Star Championship for a solid year with no losses. You know what that says about me, Jimmy? I’m nothing like the rest of the spineless a##holes taking up space on the active roster.

Tom Arnold: Whoa there, James! This isn’t HBO so you can’t be dropping bombs like that—

* James turns his attention to Tom Arnold and yells at him in Japanese with an angered tone. Arnold leans back in his seat and allows James to speak *

Michael James: When I defeated Butch to win this championship I did more than just beat him in a historical match. I put an end to Parker’s reign of ignorance, stupidity and pointless bigotry. I brought an end to the days of douchebaggery that the Parker family thought would last forever. At Fatality, I hit Parker with a fatal blow that’s going to affect him for the rest of his life. Right now I could walk into his house, rip out both of his busted legs and beat him to death with them. But I’m not going to do that because I don’t have any more time to waste on Butch “The Broken Down Piece of S##t” Parker. I gave him a year, beat his sorry a## on numerous occasions and took his championship in the most anticipated match of the decade. Parker isn’t worth my time now. He’s lower than mid card. He’s lower than a cruiserweight. I would say he’s worse off than his crack ##### of a wife but not even Butch is capable of sinking that low. And I’m not going to lie by saying he isn’t a quality performer. You can watch the footage and see he knows his way around the ring. He knows how to get things started but once he is forced with any kind of opposition, that’s when things start to crumble and crash for Butch Parker. Luckily, I was there to pick up the pieces and walk out with the only thing Parker had left. He told me he was no stranger to ultra-violence so I decided to test his limitations at Fatality.

Tom Arnold: It looks like he knows what he’s doing if you asked me.

* James directs his attention towards the plasma screen where Butch appears to be dragging him around the outside of the ring. Wisdom begins yelling obscenities at James while cheering on her husband. Butch whips James into the railing with so much force his body flips over the railing and lands on the concrete floor. Butch appears to be going after James with determination while the crowd begins to chant for Parker *

Brett Favre: God lord almighty, James. It sounds like that railing damn near split your spine in half!

* James laughs and turns his attention to Favre *

Michael James: Surprisingly, the bump I took on the floor was worse than being slammed into the steel. There’s nothing comforting about solid concrete.

Brett Favre: I hear you there. Where I come from taking a hit like that would be considered career suicide.

* James scoffs *

Michael James: And what exactly would you call posting pictures of your limp noodle all over the internet? Professionalism?

* The studio audience releases a silent “oooooohh” in reaction to the insult directed towards Brett Favre. Instead of reacting, Brett just laughs off the embarrassment the best he can and turns his attention back to the plasma screen. Michael James appears to be arguing with Wisdom Parker while blood runs down his face like a broken faucet. He reaches forward and grabs a bundle of her hair. He pulls Wisdom halfway over the railing and presses his lips on top of hers with an aggressive kiss. He shoves her away causing blood from his crimson mask to cover a large portion of Wisdom’s face *

Tom Arnold: What the hell was that?! I thought you said she was a stupid ##### that was beneath you.

Michael James: She is.

Tom Arnold: Then why don’t you explain why you’re trying to shove your tongue down her throat instead of showing her the back of your hand?

* James laughs out loud once again and leans back in his seat. He adjusts his sunglasses and grips his fingers around the leather strap of the HWA World Championship *

Michael James: I don’t think you want to play this game, Tom.

Tom Arnold: And why is that, govanator?

Michael James: Because I could ask you the exact same question about Rosanne. But the way I see it that would be pointless since we already know what you’re going to say. The point I’m trying to make is Wisdom is a predictable #####. All of the confrontations I had with her prior to Fatality always ended in bloodshed at her expense. So naturally, I wanted to give the b###h something she wasn’t going to expect. She was begging for a slap across the face so I gave her the one thing she has wanted from Michael James from the very beginning. Sure, I may have put myself at risk but I’m okay with that. The last thing I wanted to do was show people the same thing they’ve seen a million times before. It’s like I said before I’m nothing like Butch Parker so I’m not going to give people the same boring song and dance with no follow through. I brought the art of ultra-violence to the HWA and the people love me for it. I’m just like Tommy Lee Jones. I’m the champion they love to hate. I’m the man they see as public enemy number one. But at the same time they know the company wouldn’t be able the same place without the Personification of Perfection. I wish I could say the same about the Parker family but if I did I was would be blowing a bunch of smoke out of my a##. Everyone knows that Butch has nothing left to offer except for empty promises and immediate failure. Why would anyone want to support a self proclaimed “hero” that is destined to lose? That’s like going to the track and putting all your money on a crippled horse.

Jimmy Johnson: Speaking of broken horses...

* James directs his attention towards the plasma screen. Two members of the medical staff lift Michael James onto a gurney and they place a foam brace around his neck *

Tom Arnold: What’s that you were just saying about immediate failure?

* Arnold laughs out loud along with the studio audience, directed at the expense of Michael James. James leans forward and swipes the remote from Tom. He forwards past a few seconds in the footage and allows it to play at normal speed. James is seen ripping off the neck brace as he moves back to the ring while nursing his right leg *

Michael James: It’s like I said in my last promo, Jimmy. I might have been bloody and bruised but I was far from broken. I walked into Fatality with one goal in mind and that was to become the next HWA World Champion. Do you really think I’m going to let a few bumps stand in my way of success?

Jimmy Johnson: Apparently not.

Michael James: You just need to understand something. Unlike the spoiled f###ing douche bags in the NFL, I’m trained to surpass the point of no return. Unlike those pussies I don’t need to shove a needle up my a## to get the job done.

Brett Favre: Now, you hold on a second there, James....

* James turns his attention to Favre *

Brett Favre: I understand you’re trying to show off for the cameras but now you’re pushing it too far. There are kids that watch this show and they don’t need to hear that kind of vulgarity—

* James releases a cynical laugh before replying to Brett *

Michael James: Really, Favre? Are you seriously going to sit there and try to preach to me about morality? That’s like asking Ron Jeremy to teach a bunch of kindergarteners a course on the history of hardcore porn.

* Brett loses his patience and rises up from his chair causing it to fly back and tumble along the floor. He moves across the set and begins pointing his finger at Michael James while his face appears to be turning red *

Brett Favre: You’re DAMN lucky I’m a believer in the ten commandments because if I didn’t know any better I would rip your head clean off your shoulders right now. I don’t watch pro wrestling and you know why, James? It’s fake. Just like you and everyone else stupid enough to be a part of it.

* James pretends to be paying attention to Brett’s rant as a pulls his trademark flash from the pocket of his jacket. He takes a swig and instead of swallowing the contents he keeps it inside of his mouth *

Brett Favre: Speechless, huh?! That’s exactly what I thought. All talk and no action.

* Brett turns away from James and faces the audience *

Brett Favre: This is why I have always said that professional wrestling is nothing but a damn joke. You have a bunch of guys with nothing but talk who can’t back up anything unless it’s written for them ahead of time. It’s all fake! Just like this stupid son of a bi—

* Before Brett can turn around Michael James quickly moves out of his seat. He grabs Brett by the shoulder and when Favre faces the HWA World Champion he gets sprayed in the face with a red mist. Brett screams in agony and grips his eyes with both hands as the residue from the mist pours down the front of his shirt. Tom Arnold jumps out of his chair and begins yelling at Michael James *

Tom Arnold: What the hell did you do to Favre?! That wasn’t in the damn script and you know it! What are you thinking, James?!

* James reacts to Tom by screaming back at him in Japanese. He grabs a hold of Arnold by the collar of his shirt and drags him across the floor like a rag doll. James shoves Arnold down causing the out of shape celebrity to roll out of the frame. As Brett is seen wiping the mist from his eyes Michael James removes the HWA World Championship from his shoulder. When Favre makes it back to his feet, James blasts him over the back of his head with the breastplate of the championship. Favre crashes to the floor landing on top of his face. A few seconds later a team of security guards rush onto the set and force Michael James away from Brett Favre. The frame cuts to a static feed *

----------------------------------------------------
03/26/14
Chicago, Illinois
Black Eye Entertainment Production Studios
----------------------------------------------------

* We open twenty-four hours following James’ appearance on “The Best Damn Sports Show Period”. The cameras cut to interior entrance of the lavish production studio to find an attractive woman in her early twenties seated behind a long counter. We move past the lobby and journey down a long hallway until stopping in front of an open doorway. Inside the viewers discover the HWA World Champion Michael James seated behind a large desk with his attention directed towards a variety of computer monitors. Judging from the nudity and gore displayed on the screens he appears to be editing one of his recent productions. Without saying a word he stands up and moves across the frame. James makes an exit from the editing room and turns down a short hallway. He stops in front of a door at the end of the narrow corridor and unlocks it with a key attached to his wallet. We follow James inside of the room and upon entrance the camera operator is forced to use an additional light to gain a clear picture through all of the smoke. After placing a blunt between his lips and lighting the tip, James takes a seat on a long style couch. He reaches behind the couch and lifts what appears to be a large gym bag. He drops the bag at his feet and inhales a deep hit from the blunt *

Michael James: Earlier this week we had the pleasure of hearing from a decrepit old fart regarding the current state of the company. Personally, I didn’t care for anything she had to say so I didn’t bother to pay much attention. I’m sure the rest of you may feel the need to cut the dying old hag a break and that’s fine. I don’t feel sorry for you and I don’t feel sorry for her. If it wasn’t for that old b###h I would have been the World Champion a long time ago. You want to know how that makes me feel? It pisses me off. I don’t appreciate having my time wasted and I don’t appreciate having my talent taken for granted.

* He reaches down and unzips the top of the bag. James pulls out two individual championship belts. He holds up the HWA All Star Championship in this left hand and the HWA World Championship in his right *

Michael James: Most of all, I don’t appreciate being asked to make a choice between two championships. As far as I’m concerned I should remain the dual champion until someone can take one of them from me. But since that isn’t going to happen Shevington has no choice but to force me to forfeit one of two titles. Personally, I think it’s a load of bullshit. The entire roster had a year’s time to take the All Star Championship from around my waist and none of them could get it done. I beat Freddie Styles twice. I crippled Bryan Deas. I put Heckler & Koch on the shelf for six months and I destroyed Butch Parker. That’s what happens when people challenge me to do the impossible. And now, due to ability to avoid failure at all costs, I’m being punished for my success. I don’t know if Shevington is scared of having an untouchable dual champion or if she is just pissed off because she knew I was right all along. That stupid b###h is already four feet in the grave so all she needs is one solid push and it’s all downhill from there. Hopefully I can be the one to do everyone a favor and put the dirty old ##### out of her misery.

* He exhales a cloud of smoke from his nostrils and drapes the championships over both of his shoulders. He ashes the blunt in a tray placed on a table a few inches away from where he is sitting *

Michael James: People that know me will tell you that I have never forfeited anything in my life. So, take a few seconds to imagine how I felt when I heard the news about the “choice” I was given by Elizabeth Shevington. No matter how you want to look at it I’m getting the raw end of the deal. I won the All Star Title, defended it for a solid year and now I have to either let it go or vacate the World Championship. No matter what choice I make I’m being robbed of something that rightfully belongs to me. But then again, that’s just another example of the choices I’m going to have to make as the new face of the company. Shevington wants to punish me for becoming the World Champion and I want to shove her down a flight of stairs. Maybe one day we can both go for a walk in the woods and I can come back alone. The possibilities are endless but pointless at the same time. I’m not going to be facing a dusty old scabbed up ##### to defend my reputation as the best in the HWA. Granted, Shevington is going to do her best to knock me off the top of the mountain and I’m prepared for that. I’m prepared for anything just like I was when I beat Butch at Road to Ruin AND Fatality. But, it’s like I said before, I can accomplish the impossible. I’ll make lighting strike and then jam it down her ####ing throat.

* He holds the blunt to his lips and takes another deep hit. He inhales the smoke into his lungs and places the blunt on the ash tray. James rolls up his sleeves so the viewers at home can get a clear view of the deep permanent scars embedded into his flesh *

Michael James: A long time ago I heard someone say that “scars remind us that the past is real.” Well, you want to know what these particular scars do for me? They hurt like a mother####er. I could really care less about the past because I’m not trying to gain success by bragging about the person I used to be. I’m the best in the company and that means I have to be a champion that lives for the future. If it wasn’t for me there’s no telling where the HWA would be right now. If it were up to Butch Parker he would cash out the company stock and hand over all of the profits to Wisdom. It’s hard to believe but Butch truly is that gullible. Luckily, we aren’t going to be seeing that defeatist douche for a VERY long time. I made sure of that when I buried him under six feet of broken glass.

* James rolls down his sleeve and uses both hands to slowly crack his knuckles. The camera catches a jagged scar next to his temple where he had to receive stitches from result of his match at Fatality. He closes his eyes for a moment in reaction to a shot of pain running down his spine, also a product of his injuries from the Taipei Deathmatch. A few seconds later he exhales a deep sigh and slowly opens his eyelids *

Michael James: As much as it pains me to say this, the HWA isn’t going to be the same without Butch and Wisdom Parker. Because now that I’m in charge of representing the company it’s going to be better than it has ever been before. With my talent, skill and flawless leadership there is no telling where we could end up. It’s like they say in the movies. The sky is the limit. Well, I think we can do much better than that because I don’t believe in the concept of limitations. I believe in producing your own success no matter what has to be done to make it happen. Butch thought putting me away would be easy. “You’re nothing and I’m a legend.” he says. Yet, here we are, one year later and he can’t stand the sight of his own reflection. In his last promo Parker told the world how broken he is because of the loss he suffered at Fatality. According to Butch, I gave him the most humiliating defeat of his career and I did it with everything stacked against me. To be honest with you I think it’s good to see Parker finally making some damn sense. He did nothing but talk shit for a solid year just to have his ass handed to him. Maybe he’s turning over a new leaf. Maybe he’s finally seeing the consequences of his own stupidity. Or maybe, just maybe, he’s trying to kiss my ass so I cut him some slack.

* James leans forward and removes the blunt from the ash tray. He inhales another deep hit and holds the smoke inside of his lungs *

Michael James: Everyone knows that isn’t going to ####ing happen. If I was going to do Butch any favors I would have done it a long time ago. As far as I’m concerned I did that asshole a favor at Fatality by taking the pressure of HWA World Championship off of his shoulders. He couldn’t handle the responsibility of being a champion so I decided to put an end to all of his problems. Don’t get me wrong. Despite everything that we’ve been through so far the guy still has my respect. I might not agree with his choices or be able to relate to his addiction to failure but I can still respect his desire to exist. Unfortunately, I’m afraid it may be too late for that since Butch is already planning his retirement. He wants to quit because he can’t hack it. He wants to tuck his tail between his legs and run away from the man that is better than him in every way imaginable. I’m the reason Butch is down on his luck. He might say he’s disappointed in himself but everyone knows it has nothing to do with his lack of self confidence. For the first time in his life Butch is scared to death of another human being. He knows there is nothing he can do to defend himself or his family. But then again, from where I’m sitting I would say he has a right to be shitting his pants in fear. If I was in Parker’s shoes I would be scared of me too.

* James leans forward and exhales a cloud of smoke into the camera lens. The footage cuts out with a static feed *