HWA Message Board: Heartbreak and Hope

Zion National Park – 4:12 a.m. – Hours After Ring Master

It had been several hours since the end of Ring Master.Michelle, after her close encounter with Erica/DreamMaster and a brief telephone conversation with Jeremy, Matt and Sean, laid in bed tossing in complete discomfort, her mind anxious that she hadn’t heard from Sean since the end of the show. She checked her phone again, but still no messages or calls, she couldn’t help but to worry…even panic a little. She figured he’d likely be cooling off after losing the finale and his shot at the HWA Championship to Stu-E, but radio silence wasn’t like him. If even for a moment he was always one to check in, no matter what.

Just when she managed to close her eyes for the millionth time, there was a knock on the cabin door. A moment of panic washed over her thinking Erica had somehow returned, but that wasn’t possible, was it…the police had taken her away. She shot up out of bed, trying for her feet not to make noise on the wood floor as she grabbed the 2x4 she had kept bedside. The knock came again, and she jumped just a little as she left the room and approached the front door. Her voice was caught in her throat, but she managed to find it.

(Michelle): Who is it? Go away, I’m calling the police, they’ll be here any minute.

There was no answer. She hesitantly moved closer to the door, standing up on her tippy toes to look out the small glass window at the top. That wasn’t….No, that couldn’t be…she gently pulled the door ajar ever-so-slightly and her eyes widened seeing who was in the doorway. Standing there, looking utterly exhausted, still in his ring gear from Ring Master, was Sean. Dried blood and sweat caked his upper body and face, truth be told he looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over.

(Michelle): Sean?

Disbelief fell over her as she opened the door wide, getting a full look at him in the porchlight. Bruises, welts, cuts and scrapes, swelling all over. What in God’s name? she thought. Why wasn’t he clothed? How did he even get here in this state? She craned her neck looking past him into the dark. There wasn’t a car outside, had he walked all the way from the town…it had to be miles away. Hundreds of more scenarios and questions played out in her head in that sliver of a moment as she stared at him.

His legs and hands were slightly shaking, and his head hung low before he barely lifted it up just enough to look at her. His eyes were red and blotchy from the tears and her heart immediately broke. Tears flooded her eyes as she wrapped her arms over his neck. He stood there stiff like a statue, arms to his side. She needed to pull herself together, he needed her. He had been her rock after Fallen, with Erica and God grant her the strength to be the same and more for him now.

She took him by the hand pulling him inside, looking once again outside at some indication that he’d at least been dropped off by someone but there was nothing but the low chirping or crickets, and the light rustle of the trees in the early morning darkness. He was a complete mess and first things first he needed tending to. She escorted him to the bathroom and was certain that it was just his body obeying, his mind seemed somewhere else completely. She flipped the light on, and he stood there behind her looking like she’d just said Candyman in the mirror three times. He was a fright. She looked him in the face, hoping her words registered.

(Michelle): I’m going to run you a bath ok? Get you cleaned up and we’ll see about these cuts, alright?

He didn’t reply, she thought she may have seen a slight nod in his head but couldn’t be sure. Minutes later he had remained in the same spot she left him, the water was nearly full in the tub, bubbles where fluffy and aromatic. Did she undress him? God, could she? Of course not, he’d be naked, his, his…thing would be there, exposed and…she prayed for a small miracle as she cut the water off and turned him towards the tub.

(Michelle): Sean? You get undressed ok? Get in the tub and I’ll go find the med kit, I’ll be right back ok?

She slipped out of the bathroom closing the door slowly behind her and stood there next to it with her ear close. She whispered to herself…

(Michelle): Please Sean, please you can do this. Please!

It took a moment, but then she finally heard the rustle of his boots coming off, his pants being pulled down and ultimately his first footstep splash into the water followed by a larger swish indicating he’d sat down in the warm water. Relief washed over her, and she hurried into the hall to get the med-kit. Out in this largely uninhabited area it was a bit more than a basic kit which she was grateful for. Thanks to her aunt who was a Nurse Practitioner, she’d learned some routine triage, and it seemed this kit would do.

She returned to the bathroom and Sean’s sticky, blood-wet clothes were on the floor. She bundled them up and set them aside then joined him beside the tub. The water was pinkish as crusted blood slowly dissolved and his fresher wounds still leaked a little, it wouldn’t be long before it was red entirely. Sean sat there, speechless still. She grabbed the washrag and began to wipe his hair and face. She washed his back and his arms, then reached for his chest when his arm lifted up and he grabbed her hand. He shuddered, tears in his eyes as he lifted her hand to his cheek and held it there leaning into it, water from the rag in her hand dripping down. She hurt, because he was hurting. It took everything she had, everything she didn’t even know she had…to hold back her own tears. She whispered to him, as she stroked his hair.

(Michelle): I know…it’s ok...it’s gonna be ok.

He released her hand, and almost as if he knew what she was thinking took the rag from her at the same time and finished washing himself. It was a snails pace of long, slow, careless wipes across his body.

(Michelle): I’m going to see what I can find for you to wear.

Grateful that she didn’t need to reach…down there…she hurried into the bedroom and opened the closet where she put her clothes. He was twice her size, this was ridiculous…what in the world did she have that he could possibly fit into.

(Michelle): Oh thank God!

She muttered to herself as a thought crossed her mind. He parents had visited a few days ago and after a trip to the Narrows they had changed clothes. Her dad forgot his behind and she’d washed them planning on dropping them off in few days when she left back for Los Angeles. She popped up and grabbed the bag with a pair of his tan summer shorts and a hideous Tommy Bahama shirt. He was a big husky man so it should fit Sean okay. She’d run into town in a few hours when the stores opened and get him something proper. She returned to the bathroom and Sean had gotten out of the tub, wrapped the towel around himself and stood there like a statue once more. She gave him a subtle smile, took his hand and guided him out back into the living room.

She opened the med kit on the coffee table and he sat on the sofa as she looked him over. Now that he was clean, she could clearly see the extent of his injuries. She bandaged what she could, he’d probably need stitches in his scalp but that was beyond her abilities, so she disinfected the wound, put some Neosporin on it, and covered it with gauze and some medical tape. She handed him her dad’s clothes and then realized that he’d have to go commando, but that was the best she could do. She packed away the kit and returned to him a few moments later to find him dressed, at least in shirt and shorts. She sat down on the sofa beside him, wrapped her arms around him and leaned him over into her lap.

(Sean): I… I failed… I’m sorry… I failed…

She stroked his hair gently, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

(Michelle): Shhhhh…none of that…you didn’t fail Sean. You were so amazing. I’m so proud of you.

The feel of Michelle’s soft touch was bliss in a time where everything around him felt anything but.

(Sean): I… I didn’t know what to do… I don’t know what to do… I feel empty and lost… I just knew I needed to get to you… but I don’t know what to do now… winning that championship was everything to me… tell me what to do… please…

Her heart was breaking seeing him in this state. He was always the protector, her rock, her pillar of strength. Sean always knew just what to say to her. He was the one to guide her in the right direction and now the tables were turned. What could she say to him to ease his pain as he had hers so many, many times? What could she do to bring comfort to him?

(Michelle): Sean, I know you…you’ll want to rewatch the ppv for days analyzing every detail, but you didn’t do anything wrong. Our plans for ourselves…our goals, just aren’t always the same as God’s designs for us.

I know in my heart he has greater plans for you. I know its hard to hear right now but I truly believe it to be true. This wasn’t your time, your moment for a reason. We don’t know what that reason is, but God has challenged you. He’s challenged you for something greater and I know you’ll rise to it.

She leans in once more kissing him and wipes a tear from his cheek. He hadn’t given any indication just yet that anything she said had registered. She knew this would take some time, some processing.

(Michelle): I love you Sean Parker, and you may not have won in the ring tonight, but more important to me than any gold you’ll ever wear around your waist is the fact that you’ve won my heart, and you’ve always have been, and will be my champion.

Her words had truly touched him but in the same breath, did little to mend the wound in his heart. All the hard work he’d put into recovering from his injury; the risk itself in going under the knife to begin with. He buried his head into Michelle’s lap, clinging to her as if his life depended on it.

(Sean): I love you more than anything, Michelle. But I… I don’t know if I even love wrestling anymore… I don’t know how to come back from this…. I don’t know if I have it in me to accept God’s challenge this time… I think he may have finally… finally bested me…

She sighed as soundless as she could. This was not something that was going to be solved here and now, she knew but the idea of him just throwing in the towel was too much for her. She pulled him up from her lap, took his face in her hands and looked him in the eyes.

(Michelle): I know this hurts Sean but how do you come back from this? You lean on me, you lean on Matt and Jeremy and trust in God. Look at me Sean…I’m just a girl. I don’t have your skills, your strength, your confidence.

Tears were now coming to and escaping her eyes, she just couldn’t help it anymore.

(Michelle): Sure, I have some amazing fans, but I see the messages and comments online. By all accounts…I’m a mid-carder at best, that or I shouldn’t even be here. What Fallen did to me…I was ready to leave then and you pulled me through. You and the guys and the fans. Erica....My God Erica! Sean she’s better than me, I know it. She’s bigger, stronger, and way more experienced. I was lucky to beat her that one time, but I know I’m no real match for her, I’m just not. She scares me Sean, but I pick myself up every time, wipe myself off and keep going.

I learned to keep fighting from you. I learned that there is always a tomorrow in this business because of you. You taught me to believe in myself. I know I’ll never be the best, but I do love this business. As many times as I’ve sat and questioned my own sanity being in it…I love the ring and the crowd, all the fanfare and excitement. I came back up here to really think on that and even before Erica showed up last night I was resolved. So, if little ole me, meek and meager Michelle can lift my chin up and can carry on, I know darn rootin’ tootin’ Sean Parker can.

(Sean): What… what if I turn into something… into someone different… what if I need to become someone different than who I was before? Because the man I’ve been before wasn’t good enough?

(Michelle): That doesn’t make sense Sean, that’s nonsense. What else can you be? I love you the way you are, the fans love you, the whole business loves you…isn’t that enough?

(Sean): The business doesn’t love me… the business loved the sob story of the comeback cripple. That was a long time ago. This isn’t Rock and Cody though. This isn’t fans forcing a business to change an outcome. The only one capable of changing that outcome is me…. and at Ring Master… it wasn’t good enough… maybe being who I was before only got me to just short of the finish line.

Lines creased her forehead as she looked at him. His head and eyes tilted down again, and her heart ached even more for the pain he was in, the crushing sense of defeat. He just needed some time to think, to process the night, he hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept well probably in days with his intense training regime up to the ppv, it was no wonder he didn’t seem to be thinking too clearly. At least that’s what she hoped, but she’d never seen him like this before and it worried her…no, scared her.

(Michelle): That’s not true, don’t you dare…don’t you dare talk about yourself like that. Your accident was over 10 years ago Sean, what you’ve done with your career…that was just one hurdle. Don’t you see…every time you’ve been knocked down, he lifts you up again.

She sighs, adjusting herself so she’s facing him better.

(Michelle): I know you don’t believe as I do, but God…

She suddenly stops…a small barely detectable flinch in his body gave here the impression that he didn’t care what her God had to say or think on the matter right now, and she didn’t want to upset him further with her rhetoric. Instead, she rubbed him on the back as she looks out the window in silence, it was just after 5:30 a.m. now and the sky had lightened just enough to indicate the coming sunrise in a hour.

(Michelle): Why don’t I put some coffee on, it’ll be light soon. We can go sit on the porch in the rockers and watch all the critters come out looking for their breakfast.

She stood and kissed him on the top of the head. Went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee before returning to him. She stood in front of him reaching her hands out for him to take.

(Michelle): Come on mister!

He didn’t offer his hands to her. Sean leaned forward putting his face into her thigh. She reminded him of a wounded dog that just wanted to be held, wanted to feel secure. She placed her hand on his head stroking his hair again.

(Michelle): We’ll get through this together, you and Me…I promise.

Just then his hands rested his hands on her calves. His hands were warm and began to trail up her legs under nighty. His thumbs caressed her inner thigh all the way up to her groin where he traced the edge of her panties with the tip of his thumbs. She shuddered and felt like she was on fire.

(Michelle): Sean?

His thumbs lifted the edge of the seams with a gentle caress as he buried his face into her, inhaling her wondrous scent.

(Michelle): Sean, I….

She was nearly breathless as he pulled her towards him. She straddled his lap, feeling his hard manhood beneath her as he wrapped his arms around her waist now burying his face into her chest. She was so soft, so delicate like a bubble floating in the air. She leaned in and kissed him. It was passionate, deep and he cupped her ass in his hands as their tongues danced. He put his hands to her thighs pulling he nighty up to her waist and his finger were once again at the seams of her panties. With the utmost tenderness he gripped the edges at her waist and began to slide…BEEEEEEEP…..the coffee maker sounded off loudly breaking their trance and Michelle shot upright.

(Michelle): I…..I’m sorry….I’m so….Ummmm, I’ll just go get our coffee.

She was flushed, she shouldn’t have let things get that far but he felt so…right. She headed to the kitchen and the clinking sound of cups is heard. On the sofa, Sean looks down misery setting right back in and he whispers to himself, knowing she’s too far away to hear.

(Sean): No, you’re beautiful and perfect...it’s me…I’m the failure, I’m the sorry one.

The ppv was bearing down hard on him, crushing him, he wondered how he could recover from this, how to even breathe. He looked over to her in the kitchen pouring creamer in their coffee a light hum coming from her soul. Not months ago he was telling her that they’d just walk away if she wanted, leave and never look back, but Ring Master had proven that Michelle wasn’t everything to him. She was almost everything. There was something more he wanted, something else to be truly fulfilled and the thought scared him to his core. What did he have to do, or become to achieve his goals and would he lose her along the way?

(Michelle): Alright, it’s not Starbucks but it will do the trick, come on.

She held two cups of hot coffee in her hands as she headed for the front door giving Sean a nod to follow. He pulled himself up from the couch and opened the door for her and the two stepped outside onto the porch. They sat in wooden rockers with their coffee, and watched the sky continue to lighten waiting for daylight to break and a new day, the day after Ring Master to begin as the scene fades out.