Off camera

Egypt…300 BC

“With great power comes tasty rice”. Or whatever Uncle Ben said, that man had A LOT going on. I mean come on, rice is good but not THAT good…who needs a thousand different flavors? Anyway the point I’m making is that when I took the spear of destiny I made a vow to use it make the world a better place, to use my newly acquired powers to rid the world of evil the best and honestly only way I know how. Killing them of course, cleansing the world one evil ####er at a time…

Maniac carefully walks threw the hot terrain of the village, occasionally glancing around to see if anyone is watching as he passes by each mud brick house. When he’s satisfied that nobody is watching he continues his journey determined to see his mission through, he came all this way so there’s no turning back now. As he walks Maniac begins to talk to the non-existent camera.

Maniac: Three for three on the new places…suck that haters. This is nice though, a little hot but still very nice. I may get a vacation home out here, a nice little cozy spot Mandy and I could come to as an temporary escape from everything and everyone. Maybe not a mud brick house but  that’s for another time though, right now it’s business and that business should be around here somewhere…

He continues to search until he comes upon the house he’s looking for which has two armed men standing outside guarding the door. Both are tall and muscular however are still armed, one holds a spear while the other has a Khopesh an Egyptian sickle-shaped sword that was developed from battle axes. The inside curve of the weapon could be used to trap an opponent's arm or to pull an opponent's shield out of the way and the blade is only sharpened on the outside portion of the curved end. Maniac shakes his head and lets out a chuckle as he leans against the side of the mud brick house, looking over at the non-existent camera.

Maniac: These guys with their primitive weapons Haha they don’t stand a chance, how do I want to do this?

After a few moments of consideration Maniac makes his decision, taking a few steps away from the wall before he runs at it and then scales up the wall with ease until he’s on the roof, obviously taking advantage of the supernatural powers given to him by the spear of destiny. He eases his way over to the edge of the roof and peers over, seeing the two guards still standing there and then walks over to the other side of the roof where he carefully and quietly as he can rips off a chunk of the roof off and carries it back to where he was. He gives one more quick glance to make sure the guards are still there and when he sees that they are he smiles and looks at the non-existent camera.

Maniac: Don’t try this at home kids…gotta get this JUST right.

Maniac aims the chunk over the man with the spear and after being absolutely certain that it’s dead on the mark he tosses it straight up in the air followed by jumping off the roof right afterwards, as he quickly makes his decent down Maniac puts his feet together then raises his knees to his chest in preparation for one hell of a coup de grace. Right before impact Maniac brings both feet down as hard as he can onto of the Khopesh carrying guard and with the power of the spear of destiny the guard smashes under Maniac’s feet like a tin can which allows him to land perfectly on his feet, the sudden impact plus the sound of  bones smashing startles the other guard so much that he jumps back which causes the chunk of roof to barely miss him. The guard looks at the chunk of roof realizing that if it hit him he would have been dead, he then looks from it to Maniac then back to it and finally back to Maniac who holds his hands up as he shrugs.

Maniac: You guys might watch to get that looked at, I could have died.

The remaining guard snaps out of his shock and charges Maniac with his spear in which Maniac responds by dodging the spear strike and then in one quick motion almost to fast to see with the naked eye Maniac grabs the spear and breaks off the end, stabbing the guard right between the eyes with it. After he’s done with the guards Maniac dusts himself off before walking over to the door of the house and knocks.

Maniac: Then along came the wolf, and said, “Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”

Maniac doesn’t wait for a response he kicks the door open as hard as he can and steps inside, quickly locating the scared man inside. He clutches the paper he was writing on close to him, guarding it from Maniac who smiles.

Maniac: Euclid I presume…the author of the Halliwell Manuscript, also known as the Regius Poem. I’m going to need what you’re working on and after that I need you to stop any and all plans you have for this Freemason group you’re thinking of starting.

Euclid stands tall and smiles, walking right up to Maniac and gets in his face.

Euclid: You’ll never stop us, no matter where or how far back you travel in time. We are eternal

Euclid begins to laugh and between that and his comments sent a chill through Maniac’s spine which he displays with a body shake followed by looking at the non-existent camera.

Maniac: Creepy, right?

Maniac turns back to Euclid and like lighting punches his head clean off, blood spurts out of the wound for a few moments before the body hits the ground. Maniac walks over as he whistles a little tune to himself and snatches the paper away from Euclid’s dead body but before he can read it the paper is torn from his hand by a spear that goes through the center of the paper and sticks into the wall behind him. Maniac turns to see a group of guards coming in through the door he kicked open all armed and ready to kill, sure he could fight them all and yea he’d win but he didn’t really have time(Haha, see what I did there?)he needed to get back so he could meet with Lunatik and Wolfy so they can  discuss their matches at the upcoming Havoc. Maniac gives the guards one more grin and then gives them the finger before activating the device and disappearing, heading back to his own time as the scene fades.
__________________________________________________
On camera

Current day

Scene opens to Wolfy walking into a small town 60's style diner, with a bearded dragon on his shoulder and a grin on his face as he's about to meet his new two friends Maniac and Lunatik. Arriving before them Wolfy sits down at a table and starts reading the menu until the server comes up.

(Server): Can I start you out with a drink?

(Wolfy): I'll just take a black coffee however my friends are about to show up and well do you watch HWA?

(Server): Of course!

(Wolfy): Well when you get Maniacs order do me a favor and put these edibles powder stuff in his drink for me will you? A little revenge for getting me.. hahaha! There is $100 in it for you if you do it!

Wolfy hands the waiter a bag of weed powder and the waiter grabs it with a grin walking away. Suddenly Lunatik pulls up in his 1976 Chevy Chevelle and gets out and walks into the diner. He sees Wolfy and waves and goes and sits down. He sees Wolfy and grinning and raises an eyebrow at him.

Lunatik: "What are you smiling about Wolfy?"

(Wolfy): Oh you know thinking about kicking The Lazy Butt Goblin in the nuts so hard that he’ll see a bright light and then he’ll see God and God will say unto him “Go back he only made you dead on the inside!”

Lunatik: “Yeah I can’t wait to get my hands on Jeremy and show him why he should be scared of me and Maniac.”

(Wolfy): I’m trying to stay clear of Jeremy personally. Don’t know much about him but it’s just more out of respect for Sean and Michelle. My main targets remain the same getting Lazy Butt Goblin in that Zoo Match and getting rid of this DreamMaster.

Just like the saying, “speak of the devil, and he shall appear” Maniac comes walking through the door of the diner and sees Lunatik and Wolfy. He waves and heads over to them, sitting down next to Lunatik.

Maniac: Hello gentlemen, how’s it going? How ya feeling, Wolfy?

Maniac laughs as he winks at Wolfy.

(Wolfy): Haha! I’m doing great bud! How are you doing?

Lunatik: “Hey bro I’m doing good definitely looking forward to tagging with you again and showing these young punks why we were one of the best tag teams in this company.”

Maniac smiles and gives Lunatik a fist bump.

Maniac: Likewise, my friend. It seems that our young friends are looking to really cement their names in the history books by trying to take us out. I think it’s only right to give our hungry friends the competition they desire. So how about after this, the three of us hit the gym and get some work done? Wolfy, I saw that you have a match against the returning Jammer Causehell. Congrats on your victory last week  first off, and secondly, how are you feeling about this match at Havoc?

The waitress brings them their drinks, and they all clink glasses together in cheers and all respectively take drinks. After taking a drink from his Mountain Dew, Maniac gives it a curious look for a moment and then simply shrugs and takes another drink.

Lunatik: “Sounds good to me. I need to get rid of some ring rust.”

Wolfy gives a grin at Maniacs reaction to the soda.

(Wolfy): Why thank you! I’m happy to get my first victory in HWA! Even though The Shark did fight well and I do cheer him on for that.  As for Jammer I’m not sure about Jammer Causehell, never really dealt with him much before. Sounds to me he can be a piece of work. However I’m not worried. What I’m curious about is what Lazy Butt Goblin, and Skinky Skanks next moves are. I know Lazy Butt Goblin is going to try weasel his way out of the Zoo Match that I desperately hope Butch makes, as Lazy Butt Goblin is nothing but a coward that is desperately looking for attention even making a horrible edited video from the TV show The Boyz. Which to me shows not only his horrible video making skills but how desperate he really is. As for Skinky Skank I think Skinky Skank knows I’m coming for DreamMaster and will do anything to stop me.

Lunatik then looks at Maniac.

Lunatik: “Speaking of which why didn’t you tell me about your plan to get the spear. You know I could’ve helped you. Hell I wanted to kill some Nazis.”

Maniac nods and then takes another big drink of Mountain Dew.

Maniac: You’re right, Wolfy. Toby will definitely try and weasel out of this match like he does everything. As for Erica/DreamMaster, it looks like it’s going to be us three doing the job because the other two pillars don’t want to do their part. Man, this is some good Mountain Dew…

Maniac finishes his drink and sets the glass on the table.

Maniac: I could definitely go for another one of those…WAI-TOOR!!!! As for the spear, that was a last-minute decision, and who knew that in the process, I’d be the one that killed Hitler?

Lunatik: “Yeah well nobody is going to miss that bastard. But seriously I can’t believe Jeremy called us old. That’s like calling A.J. Styles old and he’s still one of the best wrestlers in the world. Oh well I can’t wait to show him and Sean what this “old man” can do.”

(Wolfy): Wait Hitler? Did you kill him as a baby? Would you kill baby Hitler?

The camera pans over to Maniac, who is in md-application of some Bengay. When he notices the camera on him, he suddenly tosses the two behind him and chuckles.

Maniac: Yeah, we’re not old. I mean, is that really the best you guys can come up with? That seems to be your main source of ammo against us is our age difference and the fact that we left years ago, blah blah blah. This is coming from a couple of kids who haven’t done much of anything since the reunion. I mean, Sean has done a LITTLE better than you, Brat-son, and that’s not saying much. The best you’ve done is get a couple of lucky wins over Will Ospreay and then Hans, but who hasn’t beaten Hans?

The waitress brings Maniac another drink, which he thanks her for it before taking it and downing half of it.

Maniac: Man, I can’t wait for food, I’m starving. Anyway, Hitler was definitely not a baby when I killed him, at least not on the outside.

(Wolfy): WAIT! That Bengay gives me an idea… I just have to replace Lazy Butt Goblins lotion with it… Age is nothing but a number however, I seen lots of videos of 65 year olds beating up 25 year olds in boxing. Ya’ll are way younger than that yet.

Lunatik: “Yeah that’s definitely true. Hell whenever Mike Tyson fights Jake Paul I see Tyson winning. In fact Jeremy and Sean need to realize that experience and work ethic beats talent every time.”

Maniac laughs and nods his head in agreement.

Maniac: Couldn’t have said it better myself, boys. Wolfy, got anything to say about your opponent? And who do you think Butch and Wisdom got to be Erica’s opponent?

(Wolfy): I’m excited to get into the ring with him, excited to see what Jammer is made of. However He probably thinks he’s going to get a easy win with me, which is not the case. I will beat him just like I did The Shark. As for Skinky Skanks opponent.. I’m not sure. I hope its someone who can survive this demon.. I hate to say it but I just pray it isn’t Michelle. I do not want to see her go what she went through again.. I can’t go through that guilt again not being able to save her faster again. As I told Michelle in my last promo I know what I signed up for. I know the risks and I still take them. So please don’t save me when Skinky Skank is attacking me. I don’t care if she has a gun to my head about to pull the trigger. Let me go and let me die. I will be damned if she will get hurt again by Skinky Skank and definitely getting hurt trying to save me.

Lunatik: “Well hopefully we can get another shot at her and end this once and for all. Man now I’m getting hungry when is the food going to be brought to us “

Maniac: Oh, we most definitely will, and it’ll be at Havoc. And this time, we know who her allies are, and we know that the man one is Hans. With that being said, we can use this info to plan a coordinated attack so we can secure her and finish this. Me too, like I got the mun…

Maniac looks from his glass to Wolfy, who has a huge grin on his face, which helps him piece everything together.

Maniac: You sly ####er, you put weed in my drink didn’t you?

(Wolfy): What?! I’m offended you would even suggest that I would do such a thing. I think I’m going to cry in the shower eating ice cream like Lazy Butt Goblin does every night! HAHAHA! Yeah I did it! It was me I admit it!

Wolfy about falls to the floor laughing and Lunatik looks down at Wolfy and starts laughing too.

Lunatik: "That's a nice rib man. Maniac looks like he got one over on you. You sure you're not losing it."

(Wolfy): Payback is a heartless bitch. You got me so high I crawled into an eagle enclosure crawled up a tree and yelled at people who walked by saying I have eagle powers! Then I shared a raw fish with an eagle... I can still taste it…

Wolfy shivers in discuss while Maniac laughs so hard he's crying and then wipes the tears from his eyes before speaking.

Maniac: That's hilarious. How was the fish?

Maniac laughs harder, pounding his hand on the table and almost falling out of the seat.

(Wolfy): You ever meet Rosie O’Donnell? Smells so bad you can taste it? Tasted just like that.

Lunatik: “Dude that’s horrible. Ugh now I think I lost my appetite.”

(Wolfy): I bet Maniacs still hungry with all that edible moon rock I gave him. Haha!

Maniac laughs as he nods.

Maniac: I’m higher than a giraffes pussy and hungrier than Erica at a biker bar. We all agree, we eat, we go work out afterward, then at Havoc show everyone just who the Hell Wolfy and the New Age Psychos are by kicking ass. Sound good?

Lunatik: “In the words of Stone Cold Steve Austin oh hell yeah.”

(Wolfy): With Maniacs current state I’ll use the words of Tommy Chong “far out man..”

The waitress finally brings them their food, and they all begin to dig in, Maniac stops for a moment and takes another drink of Mountain Dew before speaking.

Maniac: Sean and Jeremy, at Havoc, you’re going to find out first-hand what it’s like stepping in the ring with the New Age Psychos. One of, if not THE most extreme tag team in wresting history. Made up of two of the most insane professional wrestlers to ever step in the ring, and you think you’re going to take US out, let alone win? Please, don’t kid yourselves, fell as you’ve said it yourselves this is the HWA of old. This is OUR HWA, and I GUARANTEE that you boys will be the ones who end up as stains on the mat.

The three men continue to dig into their food as the scene fades to black.