HWA Message Board: Discovering My Answer

I wasn’t sure what day it was. I don’t even know the time. I can’t remember if I ate today or when the last time was I drank water was. What I do know is that Maniac had posted a promo referencing Stu-E’s Six Feet Under appearance. I looked at the wall in my apartment as I listened to it. Photos of Maniac were taped up with strings going from his every known travel position that I tracked. Post-It notes of my observances…

Lit a cigarette (7:13 a.m.)

Bus door opened, Mandy, Greg and Maniac step out (5:26 p.m.)

Maniac alone on bus….heard toilet flush (9:56 a.m.)

Stopped at Exxon for gas in Memphis (11:26 p.m.)

I look over the wall at the hundreds of notes waiting for the answer to pop out at me, but I don’t see it. I’m missing it, or it’s right in front of me. It has to be right in front of me, I think. My phone rings and I hear it, but I don’t hear it. How many calls have I missed? It’s not important…what’s important is Maniac. I hear Undertaker’s next words in the conversation.

(Undertaker): I heard you made a name for yourself wrestling across America before you became the HWA World Champion. How did that journey start?

I obviously can’t see his face but Stu-E’s tone doesn’t seem to change, and it his response that catches me off guard.

(Jeremy): Come on Stu….this is why Sean can’t stand your guts!

What is he thinking? First off, WWE is taking shots at us, and he’s cozying up to one of their top guys, a legend of the business? Undertaker basically just called him a nobody he never heard of and he just sat there and took it like he’s starstruck or something. Maybe he was just being respectful, he couldn’t have missed that slight. Still, I rather him be champion, anybody other than Maniac. I won’t allow it!

I hear my phone ping for the millionth time. When did I last check messages? But that was a different sound I think. I look at the phone and see a blue butterfly icon at the top of the screen. When I swipe, I see a message underneath that I’ve received an invite to Bluesky from @thetobiasclarke. I don’t have time for this, whatever it is, I have to figure out if Maniac is headed straight to Dallas or if he’s taking a detour. I could intercept him before he even gets there. I could…

There’s that ping again, how is this thing sending messages and I haven’t even signed up? I click the download button for the app and setup a quick account. I read over Tobias’ messages. His typical jabs at the public. He’s not wrong about them most of the time. A lot of them cheer for Maniac, they have to be stupid, and they should “be better” as he’s prone to saying. It should be Sean, or me, or even Tobias, or…..

No……..Matt. It should be Matt! He should be World Champion right now. It should be him going to shows and being invited as a special guest to big events. I’d be so happy just to tag along on the red carpet with him, so proud. I don’t need gold, I’ve already won the biggest and best prize there could ever be…..love. As much as I am fulfilled, it hurts to know his happiness is incomplete. Maniac stole that from him and it cannot be recovered. All my love cannot fill that void I know is inside him as much as he hides it from me.

I notice now the podcast ended and I was glad it did. I respect the Undertaker for what he’s done in the business, but he’s a trash human being. A self-imposing bastard just like Maniac. Now I can listen to what he has to say, and I click on his response to Stu-E. Only seconds in and every word out of his mouth twists me. Listen to him. No, Maniac…you’re not unstoppable…I’m going to stop you. You don’t deserve it, that’s the reason you lost it and never got it back. What the fuk was Butch thinking? He handed him this opportunity? I can’t be the only one to see that. Something is going on here. This wouldn’t be happening if Matt were here. Wait…when did I last talk to him? I called him didn’t I? I don’t remember. I’ll call him later…I have to focus on Fatality…on Maniac. This is where it ends. I just have to figure out how.

I hear another ping and see that Tobias has posted another comment. I don’t have time for this. I can’t be on social media while Maniac is out there going to Casinos and Zoos and living life like he’s done nothing wrong. Like Matt doesn’t even exist. Like he didn’t take his career away. Living his life like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He thinks he’s close to the title, I’ll show him just how far away he is. I’m back on the HWA app before I realize I’m pressing the buttons, I hit record and stare for a moment realizing it.

(Jeremy): You don’t know how sick you make me Maniac, but not to worry…I have my own cure. You think you can be redeemed? You can’t. You have to be forgiven first, and I don’t forgive you, Matt doesn’t forgive you…we never will, Sarah doesn’t forgive you, hell even that bitch Erica doesn’t forgive you. It’s been “eating you alive” that you had to give up the title all those years ago? I don’t think so. If anything’s on your mind it’s the fact that you can’t get it back. Deep down you know you’ll never get it because you don’t deserve it.

I bet you knew Wolfy was possessed by that demon of yours. You knew it was him hunting Hans and you just sat back and watched. How could you not have seen the signs? Then when the cat got out of the bag there you are on queue acting like you care about your “friend.” In one breath you just said your trying to undo what the demon did but wait everyone, wait….

Jeremy throws his hands up…

(Jeremy): and I quote….“…right now my focus is on you and winning the HWA Championship.” Isn’t that what you said Maniac? To hell with everyone and everything right? You’ve got a title shot, that’s way more important than redemption, way more important than the demon you let loose. It doesn’t matter. You’re like an astronaut looking over at earth from the International Space Station. It seemed so close to those guys who had a one-week assignment but 9 months later and still not home they realized how far away it truly was. Unlike them Maniac, you’ll never come home.

That title will never be around your waist again. It will never have your name on the plate. Never be within your reach and I want it to haunt you all your miserable days. I want you to think about it just as you forced Matt to think about never stepping in the ring again. His misery demands your company and I will give it to him. I will serve him your career on a silver plater. I’ll kill it, and we’ll screw ourselves silly over its grave in celebration.

My chest is heaving as I spit words out like bile in my mouth. I look at the phone again and see Tobias’ message again summoning me. What does he want? I don’t even want this match, I have other things to do. I have Maniac to deal with but I know what Matt would say. I sigh, and try to focus on just that.

(Jeremy): Tobias Clarke…over a year in the company and we have yet to meet one-on-one. Over a year in the company and you’ve never been in there ring with Sean one-on-one. Who do we get? We get Maniac, a man whose outstayed his welcome in this business. We get a creepy Professor. We get a perverted Fallen. We get a Lunatik clown. We get everything except the “pure wrestling” we came here for, we rebuilt this company for. The moment CBS shows up it’s all out the window and chaos takes center stage. Back in 2023 Sean and I tore the roof off Boston at Helloween Harvest, the same night that…

My mind wanders to the Japanese Exploding Death Barbwire Deathmatch. Sore and aching after facing Sean just before I rushed out to the ring and pulled Matt out seconds before the goddamn ring exploded with him in it.

(Jeremy): ….ummmm. What I mean was… it’s rare the true talent in HWA gets to face each other. I should be excited for this match, but I’m not. Not with “him” in the main event. How am I supposed to focus when he’s walking around like a peacock with his feathers out mocking me, mocking Matt’s legacy, pissing on everything he poured his heart and soul into since 2015? I’m beyond angry and instead of giving me who I want, they give me you. Instead of giving you real competition, they shove Wolfy in your path to keep you occupied all last year.

There’s a conspiracy here Tobias, but they made a mistake. They made this match for Fatality and you and I can turn it into our favor. We can put on the match Maniac and Stu-E can’t. We can showcase talent the stupid Professor never will, what Lunatik never had, what Maniac has fooled people into believing he still has, what Jesse and Kratos and the folks at the academy are all striving for. We can show them, remind them what this business is…not the circus Maniac has turned it into. Not the ratings machine Butch and Wisdom keeps oiled for CBS. We can take it back Tobias. Sean and Sensei…when they get in that ring…they will take it back.

I suddenly felt inspired for this match, perhaps even hopeful. This is what Matt wants for me…can’t I do both? Can’t I go out there and put on a match the fans can’t deny and still get to Maniac? I walk away from the phone, simply forgetting I was even addressing Tobias as Maniac comes back to the forefront of my mind. I stare at the wall in the apartment turned investigation and evidence board. There’s a knock at the door and I hear a sliding noise. When I go over there is a manilla envelope on the floor, slid under the door. I open it and there is a crumpled piece of paper folded back out inside. I unravel it and look and realize my money was well spent.

(Jeremy): You motherfuker!

The rumor was true. This is what he wanted. This is what he tried to get Butch and Wisdom to do. Did Stu-E know about this? On the crinkled paper are the schematics for something called a Room of Thumbtacks Match. There’s some dome surrounding the ring, but I don’t see any doors. It looks like there’s a hole in the top…says here “for ventilation.” There’s some big ass air blowing machine conduit attached and it says “Every five minutes, the air machine kicks on, sending tacks flying around.” I’m so angry I feel like I’m going to pass out, but this is it. This is the answer. This is how I will end Maniac’s career. I’ll do whatever it takes to make them approve this match. Excitement suddenly overtakes me and I look around for my phone realizing I left it on the desk. I go back to the HWA app, and start a new recording.

(Jeremy): This one is for you Maniac. No!

Tears come to my eyes, I’ve given up fighting them.

(Jeremy): No, this one is for you babe, I love you!

I sigh, lifting my face to the camera with all seriousness, feeling a tear roll down my cheek and hang at my chin. My teeth clench and grind together until I force them apart to speak.

(Jeremy): I challenge you Maniac. I challenge you to a Room of Thumbtacks Match!

I let the words hang in the air and abruptly end the video.