Voice: BAKA!!! What the hell is this crap Antonio?
*Antonio spins around accompanied by the heads of everyone else. He finds his former running buddy, Ryo Hyzaki. Ryo, a former multi-time WEF champion, owns several gyms and dojos in many countries. Antonio has come to this one today after Ryo’s servant, Murasaki called him and said Ryo had offered to help train him. Antonio now stares at Ryo and Murasaki. Murasaki, who has a habit of mishearing things, hides his eyes as his boss begins his tirade.*
Ryo: I ask again Antonio. What is this crap?
*Ryo points directly at Ash, his nose flaring.*
Murasaki: I believe it is a girl Ryo-sama!
Ryo: Arigato Ketsunoana! I know it’s a ####ing girl! Give me my sword....I'm going to stab you.
Murasaki: You stepped in crab poo? Honestly, Ryo-sama, with all due respect I don’t think any crabs were in here today!
Ryo: Hara guzuchi o tataku na! Don’t help me anymore. Go and make us some tea and then bring it here, ok?
Murasaki: OK! I’ll go and rake the sea and bring a queer! Hope I can find a gay man in all this wind though.
*Murasaki wonders outside and Ryo shakes his head in disgust and then glowers at Ash again.*
Ryo: I don’t understand....what is this...busu...doing here?
Antonio Romano: Hey watch it with the language. She happens to be my date. Ash this is Ryo Hyzaki, the master of disguise and the 450 splash!
Ash: Oh hi. I’ve heard a ton about you, pleasure to meet you.
*She extends her hand but Ryo just stares at it and then stares past her into Antonio’s eyes.*
Ryo: Oh my name is blah blah blah pleasure to meet you! Ha! Antonio! Baka! Since when do we bring women with us to train? Did I send you a message that we were having a baby shower? Did you think you were picking out wallpaper or something? Let me explain something to you so that even your thick head could grasp it.
*Ryo walks up to Antonio and points behind him. Antonio turns around and Ryo picks up a steel-folding chair and cracks Antonio over the head. Antonio crumbles to the floor. Ryo tosses him into the ring and the ring clears of all people. Ryo slides in and begins to thrash Antonio about the head with the chair. He stops and starts yelling at Antonio.*
Ryo: Is this how we train for fights now Antonio? By trying to get some…how you say…nookie? I know what you want from the gabaman! Baka na gaijin! Nametonka? Is this how you’re going to beat Santa Claus at The Other Side? From the floor? PATHETIC! I tell you what we’re going to focus on first! We’re going to focus on that empty head of yours tomodachi. See, I watched the damn tapes. Santa Claus has a vicious finisher; Kyojakuji your head is too soft! Probably because it’s empty inside! If Santa Claus hits you with his finisher during your match, he will be able to beat you and your ass will still be a speed bump on the floor. So what we’re going to do is beat you for so long that your head becomes immune to all attacks or you die first! Either way, a grand time should be had by all!
Ash: STOP! This is madness. What good is beating him in the head with a chair going to do?
Ryo: Hhayaku inaku nareyo! I didn’t ask for the opinion of a mere woman. Least of all any women dumb enough to traipse around with this particular man. When was the last time you wore the heavyweight championship title of the world or ANY title for that matter? What was that you said....never! Well then, keep your lips pursed and hold your tongue less you want to see your new boy toy become Santa Claus’s latest victim!
*While Ash has Ryo distracted, Antonio rises to his feet and has anger in his eyes. Ryo turns around right into a big boot. The chair flies from the ring. Antonio is breathing heavily but Ryo is smiling as he rises back to his feet.*
Ryo: Well, ok then! Looks like this silly okama finally remembered where his balls were located.
Antonio Romano: Hey! Who are you calling a ######? I’m not the one locked up all day with a man servant! Seriously....I know you’re rich, but who the #### has a man servant?
Ryo: If I recall your mother had several. Not really sure which one was your dad. I think it might have been me.
Antonio Romano: You’re only three days older than me b###h!
Ryo: I can’t help it I’m a fast learner Antonio-kun! Hey guess what time it is....time for jogging and pushups. Let’s go 100 pushups. 100 with the left hand and then 100 with the right. Then we’re going to run and run while a few of us try to beat you down. Let’s go b###h....hit the floor.
*The camera cuts to Ash. Her face is twisted with horror as she watches Antonio start training. She grimaces and flinches as Ryo yells out orders in Japanese.*
-------------------------------------------------
*The scene changes to later in the day. Antonio is slumped over a bench and leaning back against a wall. He is covered in sweat and panting. He has a cut under his left eye that appears to have just recently clotted. Ash walks over cautiously and sits next to him.*
Ash: Do you intend to do more? I mean…you look horrid.
Antonio Romano: Well, thanks! You’re pretty hot too!
Ash: You know what I mean! Is it even smart to have twenty guys beating you senseless days before the biggest dogfight of your life? They are just softening you up for Santa Claus.
Antonio Romano: No! They’re getting me ready for that HWA All-Star Champion wannabe. Look I am Antonio Romano....A wrestling icon! We all know every match I have is simply too good to be true! But this isn’t a wrestling match. Ryo is the king of hardcore. He’s mastered the art from WEF and WFW to XWF and beyond. The man never met a C4 explosive, barbed wire match that he didn’t like. I can’t just stamp Santa Claus’s “I was just finished with Capiche” card and move on. I have to be willing to pummel him to death. And I will. I know now. In the beginning I was scared of the beast inside me that would be unleashed. Now, I realize the beast was always here. But the chain comes off in Greensboro, North Carolina. Santa Claus will fall before me.....he will fall to the most dominant force in wrestling today... Antonio Romano. I am an animal, a monster, someone who will stop at NOTHING to get the win and go on to become the NEW HWA World Champion! Right now I’m seeking to prove Santa Claus is weaker prey and annihilate him.
*Just then Murasaki comes bursting in along with the wind, which whips through the room like a knife and cuts the chatter. Murasaki is holding a picture.*
Murasaki: Ryo-sama! This was the closest thing I could find to a queer out there right now!
*Ryo comes rushing over and glares at the picture. He smacks Murasaki over the head and seems irate.*
Ryo: Anta no Baka! That’s a picture of Judas Mercury!
Antonio Romano: Well, he was on the right track! What do you say boys, back to working me over?
Ash: No! I don’t want to see you get hurt. Let’s just call it a day while you still have some limbs attached.
Antonio Romano: Look cutie, don’t sweat it. I’m a freaking wrestling icon. I got it covered. Look it means a lot that you came with me. I’ve had a lot of fun these last few days. I even wrote you a poem. It goes like this. You fill me up....you’re in my veins! A look could take my breath away. And all...
.
Murasaki: Haven’t I heard that somewhere before?
Ryo: I’m pretty sure it’s a song by Stain.......ooooof!
*Antonio springs to his feet and elbows both men in their guts and then looks at Ash.*
Ash: What they did just say?
Antonio Romano: They said you were too beautiful for me!
Ash: Oh they are so sweet. Who knew they had a nice side?
Ryo: Enough of this. Murasaki....go make me some tea. TEA TEA TEA! Can you hear me....I said tea!
Murasaki: Yeah I can hear you boss. But I don’t see the bee. They don’t usually come around here this time of year! I’ll go get the spray just in case though!
Antonio Romano: Oh and get me a shot of....
*As Murasaki exits, Antonio tries to place a drink order. Ryo quickly throws him to the floor and slaps on the rings of Saturn. He yanks back on Antonio’s arm and leg and smiles viciously as Ash watches on in terror.*
Ryo: You are pathetic! You are yowai! What your people call.....weak! Is this the great and powerful wrestling icon? Is this the great Antonio Romano? Is this the future HWA World Champion? You bet! Let me just call Santa Claus right now and congratulate him on his victory.
*In pain, Antonio tries to find a way out of the move. He answers Ryo and you can hear the pain in his voice. His face is bright red and it stands out against his black hair.*
Antonio Romano: Bullshit! I will win! I will destroy that creampuff. Santa Claus thinks that he can beat me and MY dignity! I will rip his balls off and play a game of whack-a-mole with them while a group of b###hes watch. Ooow! I will never stop fighting. Nothing on earth can keep me down long enough for him to pin me or make me tap.
Ryo: I hear you talk big as usual but I don’t see any results. Is the only workout you’re going to perform involving you flapping your gums, Antonio? I’m going to bet ten million Yen on Santa Claus!
Antonio Romano: NO! Ouch dammit! I can’t lose. I am a leader of sorts! Fans and wrestlers look to me for leadership! I have to fight until there is nothing left because if I lose then the whole World Title Division will lose. I am NOT going to lose, not to you and not to Santa Claus...not to anyone. I didn’t get to the top by flapping my gums. I got there by winning. Winning by any means necessary! I’d step over the dead bodies of my own friends to get to my opponent and add his corpse to the pile. Santa Claus cannot keep me down, I won’t let him. He is almost ready for this match; I know he sees me coming. He thinks he is invincible but he isn’t! NO ONE IS! I’ll throw him off the mountain. It’s my mountain now.....it’s my climb. As long as his heart beats I will never stay down. So you go ahead and call Santa Claus and you tell him what’s in store for him come time for us to meet in the ring. I’m coming to hurt my opponent, I am going to maim him, and I am going to make him suffer like he has never suffered before. Tell him I’ve decided not to come for a war...I’m not coming for a battle. I’m coming for an execution.....a funeral. I will leave his body smashed...his bones broken.......his life shattered and his ego destroyed. Tell him that he does indeed have a funeral to attend. It’s the funeral of his hopes to become HWA All-Star Champion. It dies at the Other Side. I’ve come too far. I’ve worked too hard. I’ve planned too long. I......will......not........................LOOOOOOSE!
*With that Antonio forces towards his shoulders and powers his way to his feet. He motions for Capiche, which makes Ryo yell. Antonio then smiles and takes Ryo to the floor face first with a thud. Antonio breathes heavily and starts to bounce in place. There is a fire in his eyes that startles even Ashley. The other wrestlers back away from him. He lifts his shoulder and pushes them towards the back of his body and balls up his fists.*
Antonio Romano: It’s time. It’s time for me to end fat boy once and for all. It’s time everyone remembers my name!
Ryo: And what about his finisher? What are you going to do about it?
Antonio Romano: That’s simple...don’t get hit with it, If he tries for it, I’ll make like a tight pair of pants on a lard-ass and split.
Ryo: That won’t work. Sooner or later he will hit his finisher and you’re going to be one second away from being smashed into the floor. If that happens kiss the victory so long.
Antonio Romano: So what are you saying? I have to hit the Capiche first or it’s all over?
Ryo: NO! What I’m saying is you need to learn a quick and effective counter that will work in this type of match. Come inside....there is one last thing I want to show you.
*Ryo and Antonio walk inside and Ryo closes the door. Ash and a few wrestlers sit there intently listening. Murasaki is in the background, spraying bug spray over the windows and walls. The camera fades out.*
-------------------------------------------------
*The camera opens on the outside of the gym. The door opens and Antonio limps out with Ash helping him a bit. They turn and wave inside one last time. Then they close the door and head on their way.*
Ash: Well?
Antonio Romano: Well what?
Ash: Don’t you "well what" me Antonio! What was the counter he told you to use?
Antonio Romano: I can’t tell you that. It’s a secret. It’s bad luck to divulge it before I have a chance to use it on my opponent.
*Ash stops him and brushes his hair over his left ear. She runs her index finger along his cheek and then his lips. Their eyes are locked.*
Ash: I just want you to know I’ve had fun this last week. I feel a connection with you. At first I thought you were an egotistical bastard. And…well you are....but a cute one. And damn loyal to those you feel deserve it. I just want you to know that I want to continue seeing you and even if you go out there and lose....
Antonio Romano: It won’t happen. It’s my time, it’s my destiny! At The Other Side when we are in that ring together Santa Claus will come face to face with his destiny. He will come face to face with the wrestling icon. And his defeat will serve as my stepping-stone to HWA immortality. I have his number, it’s just his time. Perhaps he’ll climb to even greater heights and one day I will be trying to take the Heavyweight Title from him but for now the victory comes home with me!
*Antonio snickers and leans in with his lips pushed forward. Ash closes her beautiful eyes and sticks out her lips. Her black lipstick and lip ring stand out against all the pale flesh. As their lips are about to connect, Ash suddenly pulls away.*
Ash: Wait....not yet!
Antonio Romano: What? What do you mean not yet?
Ash: I mean don’t kiss me yet! I want to wait.
Antonio Romano: Oh my god. You’re not one of those religious freaks who waits until you’re married to kiss a guy through a hole in a sheet are you?
Ash: No silly. I just want to wait until after.
Antonio Romano: After what?
Ash: After! Kiss me after you win your match.
Antonio Romano: Heh, Ok then.....you can count on it. I’ll kiss you AFTER I beat that sad, fat tub of lard Santa Claus!
*Ash smiles and skips towards the car. Antonio hangs back for a moment and smiles at her. Then he turns and looks back at the gym and his smile turns evil. He balls up his fists and gets a cold look in his eye. He’s ready for his match and he’s prepared to be victorious in it! He limps away towards the car and we fade out.*
Message Thread
« Back to index