(Butch): Look guys, I really don’t have time. I’ve got some last-minute Christmas shopping to do before I fly out to Bulgaria and I’m really pressed for time.
(Journalist 1): Mr Parker, just a couple of quick questions, if you don’t mind.
Butch pauses for a brief moment, looking to the sky before conceding defeat and he sighs deeply.
(Butch): Fine, you guys have five minutes and them I’m out of here.
(Journalist 1): Butch, you’re facing fellow Brit Stu-E Price at Havoc in Bulgaria on the last stop of the HWA World Tour. Whilst he was reciprocal of your sign of respect, he has indicated that he won’t be a warm-up match for Senester and has every intention of beating you; even going as far as saying he’d attempt to choke or knock you out.
(Butch): Well I know of the recent hardships Stu-E has been going through lately and he has my sympathies. I know what it’s like to have a big match coming up for a big match and at the last minute, something monumental and completely FUBAR knocks you sideways. Stu-E can take heart from the fact that I lost my son and almost lost my sister when she had complications with the birth of my niece Sarah. This was all within 2 weeks of my first HWA World Championship match against Buff Bridges. Granted I lost the match but it was a steep learning curve for me and I’m sure Stu-E has the intestinal fortitude to take this in his stride. As professional wrestlers, it’s in our nature to be able to push these things to the back of our mind and do the job we’re paid to do. We may not always like it but that’s a sacrifice we make and I’m in no doubt Stu-E is aware of that.
As far as my match with him goes; I’d like to go on record and state that I’m by no means taking Stu-E lightly, nor am I looking past him. If he wants to try and submit me or knock me out, he’s more than welcome to try; as long as he’s prepared to take what he’s willing to dish out.
But if I’m being honest, this match is extremely important to me personally. After all, since I returned, the results of my matches haven’t exactly gone in my favour.
Butch extends his thumb out on his left hand.
(Butch): My first match with Judas Mercury ending in a no contest when Freddie Styles attacked me….
Butch extends his index finger to join his thumb.
(Butch): My tag match when I actually teamed with Styles against Senester and Chuckles didn’t exactly pan out well...
Butch brings out his middle finger so that he has three fingers extended out.
(Butch): And then of course I had my match with Chuckles in the bag last week before Judas decided he wanted some retribution for what happened to Alice. Not exactly the all-conquering return I’m sure the bookmakers had on the cards when my return was confirmed. So yeah, to say that I want to get a win at Havoc would be a bit of understatement. At Havoc, I’m going into my match with Stu-E with a clear head and bad intentions. It’s going to be no-nonsense and all business, I can guarantee you that.
(Journalist 2): Mr Parker, new HWA wrestler Michael James mentioned you among others during his first official promotional video the other day. What are your thoughts on the derogatory comments directed at the likes of you and Buff Bridges?
(Butch): Yeah I seen and heard what Michael James had to say. He’s obviously doing what any new kid on the block would do in his position – try to get rise or a reaction from longstanding members of the roster. He goes down the “they don’t belong in the same ring with me,” and “they’ve got no drive and all they’re talk” bullshit road. And then we’re meant to be like “aw no, you don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m gonna kick your ass and show you a thing or two!”
Butch dismisses the notion with a wave of his hand.
(Butch): Michael James may have found success and won World Championships in every fed he’s been in and well done to him. However it’s not like he’s a household name known to every fan and wrestler on the globe, jumping ship. It’s not like its Bret Hart leaving the WWF and going to WCW or Kurt Angle going over to TNA; it’s not even like Talon Wilkinson jumping from the RWF to here. He’ll have to earn his stripes like everyone else in this company has had to. If he manages to get to World Championship status then fair do’s. But until he’s even stepped through the ropes and actually debuted, I’ve got nothing to say about him. Guys like Buff and I, even the likes Bryan Deas, we’ve been here a long, long, long time and we’ve earned the right to be here and don’t have to justify ourselves or accomplishments and prove ourselves to anyone. Michael James is the one who needs to prove himself, he’s put all this weight of expectations on his own shoulders and if he dive-bombs like a burning spitfire at the first chance of asking then on his own head be it.
(Journalist 2): So if Michael James laid out a challenge to you, would you accept it?
(Butch): Does the Pope wear a funny hat?
The journalists stare at Butch with a look of confusion at this last statement. Butch, noticing the bewilderment, attempts to rectify the situation.
(Butch): Does a bear shite in the woods?
The gathered reporters still look perplexed and Butch rolls his eyes.
(Butch): Yes, yes I would. Right I’ve got time for one more question and then I really need to go.
The reporters furiously scribble on their pads before the first journalist speaks again.
(Journalist 1): Butch, everybody knows of you’re upcoming World Championship match with Senester and he has addressed you recently, referring back to the time you spent at his side last year. What’s your thoughts on the upcoming match with him?
(Butch): I have nothing to say on my previous dealings with Senester and I’m sure you can respect given the circumstances of what happened. I also have no thoughts on Senester at the moment. My mind is on Stu-E Price and spending Christmas with my wife. After that, I’ll concentrate on Senester. Now if you’ll excuse me gentleman, I have things to do.
Butch opens the door to his car, climbing into the driver’s seat. The reporters are still firing questions at him, their voices combining and becoming nothing more an incoherent rabble which Butch ignores. He revs his engine loudly which startles the reporters.
(Butch): Guys, unless you want to deal with a heavily pregnant, hormonal Wisdom, you’ll probably want to get off my property within the next five seconds.
The reporters exchange awkward glances before Butch revs his engine again and he accelerates forward slightly causing the reporters to scamper away before Butch screeches out of the driveway, off onto the road and out of sight as the scene fades to black.
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