The scene opens out onto the rented home of Hans and Vanessa von Richtoven. It’s late in the evening, the sunlight dimming and the majority of the light now caused by the lamps at either side of the room. (Hans): Herr Chaos, yet again mein freund you demonstrate this… this wunderbar ability to just… to just miss the point. This skill, it’s like… it’s like nothing else. Searching for the words, Hans exhales through his pursed lips, one hand moving in a ‘come hither’ motion as if trying to help put words together. (Hans): It’s like… if you were to go skydiving, you’d somehow conspire to miss the earth altogether. So mein freund, allow me to bring you down gently… for now at least, I can’t promise a smooth landing at Havoc after all… A predatory-like grin forms at that last part. (Hans): On that note, do you think it wise to antagonize Hell’s Guardian? In fact, rhetorical question, we both know the answer to that, jah. For those watching that have brains that are not kaput, do you throw the car keys to the valet with one hand and flip them the bird with the other? Nein, you don’t. Shrugging the shoulders, an air of ‘what can you do’ emanates from Hans as he carries on. (Hans): Onto the next part though. Neither Matthew nor I have what it takes to compete against you? Making a sound much like a buzzer, Hans wags one finger at the camera. (Hans): Falsch. In fact, not just falsch Herr Chaos, blödsinn. This is your fourth match, jah. Let’s recap what you’ve done. You beat Matt for your first win, fairly too. Then assaulted him afterwards resulting in him needing stitches. You got denied a match at the second show but still decided to show up and try your hand at vehicular aided murder. Next match you faced Draconis, a man on 5 and 0 just now but you made it 3 and 0 at the time for him. A match you made a big deal out of playing it straight in the run up to. Then your third match, again against Matt but this time with Jeremy and Deas involved. You needed the help of your pariah to turn the tide on that one Maniac, you and Deas were second best on that night. Crossing his legs, Hans gets comfortable in the chair, arms going wide, elbows still on the arms of the chair. (Hans): So let’s call it even for you when it comes to playing it fair or at least, not having outside interference. So if I take away that outside opportunity, I’m facing a man one on one, who’s one and one himself… the question then becomes Herr Chaos, can you compete with me? Hans’ expression at this point says it all as to what he thinks the answer is. (Hans): Again, rhetorical mein freund. Moving on though. Let’s again recap my excuses for not facing you until now… Lightly slapping his forehead in mock chastisement of himself, he smiles at the camera. (Hans): There was no excuses Herr Chaos. I just didn’t respond to your attempts at goading. Did I personally say ‘nein’ to you? Ah, but why let facts get in the way, jah? But then, you recognise that I didn’t ask for this match, Herr Chaos, very astute. Does that automatically mean that I’ve been ‘thrown to the sharks’ though? Does it mean that I’m stepping into the squared circle because I ‘have to’? Leaning back into his chair once more, a contemplative expression forms. (Hans): It’s like, when I was younger, meine mutti would make dinner… unt I liked the usual things, pizza, pasta, schnitzel, bratwurst… take that one, jah. Bratwurst. A favourite. You might not know what was going to be served that night though, maybe you spent all day at school wondering what it was going to be. Perhaps a friend was talking about what his mutti was cooking, you think, I wouldn’t mind that. You get home, nein, it’s currywurst. Still sehr gut though. It’s like that Herr Chaos, jah, I didn’t ask for you, I got you, proverbially speaking, on a plate. Mein freund Butch threw me to the sharks? Nein Herr Chaos, not at all. Once more the finger wags at the camera in emphasis. (Hans): Now finally, on our little journey through debunking your words, I do have to address your belief that I was retired. Herr Chaos… where did you get that impression? One brief visit to Google would have let you know I was in Japan most of last year, the year before I was in Europe with some visits stateside… so on and so forth… maybe load that tab back up that you used to look for flights to Ireland and jump back to the search page and take it from there, jah? Leaning forward, bracing his hands together, he adds. (Hans): Enjoy your little party Herr Chaos. The scene fades out to black gently as Hans smiles at the camera before standing up and moving off screen.
Sitting in a leather high backed armchair is Hans ‘The Baron’ von Richtoven, attired casually in a pair of weathered knee length pair of denim shorts while an olive green HWA official ‘The Baron’ t-shirt covers his upper half.
Idly skimming his phone, Hans notices the camera, clearly having been waiting for them to be ready to go.
A nod from off-screen causes him to set the phone down, before looking into the camera and beginning.
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Ah, jah, that was it, there weren’t any.
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