One one screen is Roderick Sterling, HWA interviewer.
On the other, Tobias Clarke.
A large HWA Presents banner is beneath them, it’s clear they’re talking remotely and not in the same room as one another.
(Roderick): So, Tobias, a massive thank you for taking time out of your day to have this interview.
(Tobias): I was contractually obligated to Roderick, so drop the charm offensive.
(Roderick): I mean, I…
(Tobias): Time is money man, chop chop.
A gesticulation towards the camera facing Tobias, and with it, at Roderick himself.
(Tobias): Get to it man, the sooner this is over the sooner my day will improve.
(Roderick): Ahem, well…
Some shuffling of papers occurs off screen by him.
(Roderick): Quite, erm…
A clearing of the throat follows as Tobias’ glare can almost be felt through the screen.
(Roderick): So first off Tobias, your match against Jesse Draconis ended with you making him submit, tell…
Cutting across Roderick, a gleeful tone in Tobias’s voice is entirely at odds with the menacing look he now sports.
(Tobias): Making him call out like a little b*tch you mean Roddy, yeah?
Quite taken aback by what’s been said, Roderick doesn’t have time to adjust before Tobias just carries on.
(Tobias): Listen, I said it would happen, and it did. I put on a f*cking masterclass out there and Jamaal had f*ck-all answer to what I threw at him.
(Roderick): Well, speaking of throwing, Jesse suffered that dislocation that you targeted, tell…
(Tobias): And I suffered too Roddy. I suffered from the terrible behavior of those lumberjacks. There’s favoritism, and then theres what I had to deal with. Letting Jahani roll about like an epileptic having a fit for minutes at a time. Do your job, get him back in the ring!
(Roderick): I mean it wasn’t quite like that Tobias.
(Tobias): No? Really? Get your eyes checked Roddy, I think you might have missed something that was blatantly obvious. While you’re at it, get that referee to go with you, man missed so many things.
(Roderick): I mean… wow, ok… erm, what about Jesse, you’ve gone back and forth now for weeks, this was a match he really really wanted. Will there be another?
(Tobias): Listen, that guy that was out there on commentary with Old Dragon getting shown up, whatshisname…? Josh Matthews? Yeah, that man had it spot on. Jonah got what he wanted. He begged for this match and he got it and now he can go home, sit down and shut the f*ck up. He got beat! Out classed, out wrestled, outed as a fraud. I don’t know if that speaks to how sh*t the Academy is, given he’s been there a few months, but I suppose you can’t polish a turd… so, y’know…
A shrug from him.
(Tobias): He had all his family down there, cousins, uncles, sister-f*ckers and everyone in between, hell, they even brought the family pet along as well. It didn’t matter.
(Roderick): By pet…?
(Tobias): That no-talent hack that the German felt sorry for. Duh.
(Roderick): Ah, Wolfy, well speakin…
(Tobias): No, let’s not.
(Roderick): You did acknowledge that you’re contractually here, so, are you really going to sit there for the next ten minutes and pull a Marshawn Lynch?
(Tobias): I could, yes.
A reflective expression passes.
(Tobias): I wouldn’t though, if you asked better questions.
Getting somewhat of a backbone, Roderick fires back.
(Roderick): What? You don’t get to say that!
(Tobias): I can and I will, elevate yourself Roddy, that’s all I ask of you, all I ask of anyone.
A sneering look of disdain follows.
(Tobias): But when it comes to Monkey, no, just no…
Finger wagging at the camera and with it at Roderick, Tobias continues.
(Tobias): So allow me to just get this out of the way Roddy. Monkey is a man that shouldn’t be in, at, or near a wrestling ring, not even as a hired hand to help set up the bloody thing to begin with.
Actually, he shouldn’t even be doing what used to be his day job either.
Blood, Sweat & Tears showed up little Monkey as the fraud we all know he is.
Oh what a f*cking surprise, man’s running about with a python and no f*cking paperwork. Nice job retard. Big time animal lover like you should know all about that sh*t.
Don’t you dare give me that ‘I crossed the line’ and I ‘messed’ with your vermin. You let a child near that chimp, someone with no understanding of how to control it when it went feral. Do you remember that story from a few years ago, that old dear that got her face ripped off by a chimp? And you go and put a child in that situation? No wonder you were skulking around doing a traveling animal show when HWA rolled into town Monkey, no actual professional place would hire you with a stunt like that!
And then, you, you little pr*ck, you went and tried to have that slithery beast bite me! Just creeping about backstage with it, then out you come, sneaking up on me like your spirit-animal, the Child-Snatcher…
What if I had been injured? I couldn’t have gotten away from it if you’d lost control. You’d have been responsible!
(Roderick): So you admit you weren’t injur…
Snapping a response at being interrupted, Tobias becomes even more outraged.
(Tobias): Mind games. Mind games you idiot. It’s what we all do. Some are indulged more than others… Maniac and his…
The air quotes are made.
(Tobias): ’Personalities’, y’know.
An angry ‘urgh’ is made, Tobias tilting his head back, before loudly exhaling and continuing, a tad calmer.
(Tobias): But this reprobate has me needing to get checked out for all kinds of diseases. My arm may as well be a f*cking cheesegrater with all the jags I’ve had to get!
And my ring gear needs doused in bleach to get rid of him... urgh… he has no place being near a ring. He has no place in HWA and he absolutely has no right to be challenging me to any kind of match.
So listen up buddy, listen well.
You’ve had no actual ring experience, even now… you’ve spent longer walking up and down that ramp than you have in the actual thing… you’re worried about what the FCC says, and then you’re like, ‘let’s do something like outta the Roman times’. Firstly, Gladiator is a superb film, but I didn’t go away from it thinking, ’I want to fight a tiger’.
No. F*cking, no. One. You need your head checked. Two. You don’t deserve to be making up any match conditions let alone something as batsh*t crazy as that. Three. Where you were, at Blood, Sweat & Tears, buddy… yeah, on the outside, looking in, that’s where you are. That is where you will remain. Four. I’m moving up that roster buddy. I’m facing Draconis next.
You see that look he had on his face, that gormless one, the one where he didn’t know what day of the week it was, trying to realize Jordan had his arm dislocated? That’ll be the same face he’s going to sport when I beat him at Havoc. After that, it’s onwards and upwards. You’ll still be scratching around in the dirt with your vermin.
So why the f*ck should I reach down and give you a helping hand up?
Completely taken aback by the vitriol unleashed, Roderick stays silent.
A quick look down by Tobias at his watch has him then looking up, smiling, a complete 180 degree reversal in personality.
(Tobias): Oh look at that, our time is up Roddy. Have better questions next time please buddy, kay?
And with that, he steps up off his chair and out of the camera view.
Roderick is left looking off screen himself at presumably some techs and crew, lost for words, as the scene fades to black.
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