Into view of the camera walks Tobias.
As usual, it’s a sparse and plain looking room, nondescript in every way.
On the agenda, as always, is putting people in their place.
He wastes little time in doing so.
(Tobias): Now, Monkey… if I was being polite, and, with you, why would I be given you assaulted me at Havoc, I’d call you a hoser. That cute little insult you spent all morning coming up with, that little childish glee you seem to have when you get to say it in front of people… yeah, buddy, it’s been a pleasure to meet the poster child for the pro-choice movement.
The sarcasm drips like venom out of him.
(Tobias): All of these little…
The air quotes are made, the snideness evident.
(Tobias): ... “facts”… that you come out with. Yeah, buddy, ok, calm down Wikipedia, we get it.
Does it get you laid? Does it make up for your distinct lack of a personality? I mean it certainly doesn’t mask your smell…
Again, seriously, wash. Ahead of our match, obtain some soap, boil some water, don’t pull a Mick Foley and leave the clothes on… if you’re struggling with this concept, use your friend Wikipedia or some sh*t like it.
Again, the up and down look as if Wolfy is there in front of him, the judgment and disdain, it’s like a laser beam erupting from his eyes.
(Tobias): But no, you’re not a hoser Monkey, you’re just a little jumped up hypocritical bitch, who’s trying really, really, REALLY hard to not piss the bed himself at the thought of actually having to back up his words, cos buddy, you got in a low blow at me, a cheap shot, a once in a lifetime hit… that counts for f*ck all in the grand scheme.
Y’see, I’m not the one that’s immediately rushing to build a stable… although in your case, I’m putting it down to you wanting to flex that part of you that’s not used to human interaction, though, with Joshua, really? Really? That man’s hardly going to set the conversation alight… though, with his golem like feet and hands, maybe he will literally do just that by accident…
Anyway f*ckwit, you pair want to team up, be my guest. Says it all, you’re afraid of me. Underneath all of that ‘oh look, here’s a bug and did you know this’ sh*t and well, whatever Jacques is pretending to cosplay as next, is a half arsed effort to try to match up to me. Seriously, James, Halloween is like, months away. Reaper? Reaper?
An obnoxious and braying laugh erupts, Tobias tilting his head back, thoroughly tickled at the thought of Jesse.
(Tobias): But back to you Monkey.
What’s with the stalking? Like, buddy, videos of me in the spas? You f*cking freak, who gives you the right to invade my privacy?
It’s f*cking creepy buddy. Again, going back to the whole you lacking human interaction, that’s just not on. You doing what Maniac does and talk about my balls is one thing, this though? No, this is beyond that.
You want to perv over me, go ask your new friend Jackson for some of those promo pictures I signed for him. Stupid idiot likely has a few still lying around.
His eyes roll up as he shakes his head, a low sounding ‘urgh’ coming from him as he makes clear his thoughts towards the two.
However, that changes, as he moves on to the next person he’s going to talk about.
It’s a look of interest, of, maybe, pride even.
Pride at himself mainly, naturally, but still, he’s got some nice things to say now.
(Tobias): Now someone who actually speaks a little respectfully… Erica…
He nods towards the camera.
(Tobias): You’re crazy chica, but… but, you have this drive to push on. I admire that, I do. You’re laying blame where it needs to go, you’re calling the sh*t out when you see it and the double standards… all I want, is to raise the standards in this place, get people off their asses and do something. You’re hurting from the brutal beat down that Hans gave you, all the while Monkey mocks you.
Again, the air quotations.
(Tobias): Mr ‘When I got hurt by a camel, got stood on by a dragon, had a sea lion head butt me, Ie got back up to work the next day’. The absolute disrespect towards you there chica.
The more mocking and disdainful air appears once again in his voice.
(Tobias): And on that note, Monkey, I’ll take ‘things that didn’t happen with animals’ as a starter for ten.
Like a switch, he’s back to being more respectful, more caring, less ‘him’.
(Tobias): But there you are Erica, you’ve set your mind on not only coming back, but doing so better than ever.
I like that. You seem like one of the only ones who wants to. You seem like one of the only ones who is bothering, and you’re not even fit enough to get back in the ring!
The ones who can, f*ck them, they’re not making the effort. I mean they could, but no, John spends more time throwing rocks at his family than training, Stu-E is lifting pints instead of weights, Monkey is too busy organizing a kids play pen when he’s not pervin…
A shocked look appears, one hand going to the mouth.
(Tobias): Oh my, it all makes sense now.
Again, the up and down look as if Wolfy is there in front of him.
The sneer and the disgust.
(Tobias): Ewwww…
The scene fades out to black as Tobias, giving the side eye to the camera and practically sickened at the implications, just walks past and out.
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